ajdoc

a personal testimony
to veterans...

A former HM2 with the 3rd Marine Division, ajdoc now lives in beautiful South Carolina.

He continues to be active in church, in a variety of veteran groups
and is leader of a local outpost for Point Man International Ministries as well as
serving as chaplain of his local VVA chapter.

In 1993 I first came to grips with my experiences as a FMF Corpsman and my tour in Vietnam. Twenty-five years had passed and I had not thought much about my military service. Oh yes, it was there, every day and every night of my life...but buried, real deep. The thoughts and emotions I felt were quickly put aside whenever they popped up. Heavy work loads, family concerns, and an attempt to climb the corporate ladder would often drown out the ever present memories and frequent troubled nights. It was as if there was something inside that couldn't get out. Something that was hard to verbalize, and yet was longing to be said. "But no, not now, let's forget it"..."it don't mean nuttin!"

In 1984, I had surrendered to Jesus Christ and made Him Lord of my life. I attended a Bible School for two years and became familiar with the wonderful satisfaction that only a personal relationship with the Lord could provide. Active in church and fairly successful in my occupation, I continued to seek a reason for the unanswered questions I had. I remember visiting a Vet Center at one point and feeling very uncomfortable in those surroundings. The pictures on the wall, the articles prominently displayed on the tables...a staff member firmly shaking my hand and uttering a phrase I had never heard before from a fellow vet...."WELCOME HOME".

I felt so uneasy that I bolted from the place! It would be several months before I would ever return to a Veteran's gathering.
 

 

At church one Sunday, a physician from the local Outpatient VA Clinic
mentioned an organization called POINT MAN MINISTRIES which was just beginning to meet regularly in our city. She expressed the need for additional Christian veterans to help minister to the needs of hurting Vietnam Vets in our
area (of course, that didn't include me). After receiving some literature about
POINT MAN, I sat down that evening and began to read about this thing called PTSD.

One book that had been given me was written by Chuck Dean and entitled
How Far the Enemy. I read that book from cover to cover and could not
control my emotions. I started sobbing uncontrollably. It was as if 25 years of damned up water poured from my eyes. I suddenly felt such a release of pain
I can't describe it! I felt as if I was being set free...but from what?

As I continued to read and study about PTSD and the symptoms experienced
by so many of my brothers and sisters who served in South East Asia, I
recognized my own battle. As a combat corpsman, I had watched
many of my comrades die or be wounded seriously.

..if only I had acquired more medical skill...if only I could have gotten to them quicker..


...all of these very familiar feelings came to the surface. But I have learned that to accept those
feelings is to accept false guilt. I am not responsible for the war, for the amount
of training I got, for not being in the right place at the best time. I came to realize
that those accusations were not from God but from the enemy. And then...

 

Freedom!! "If, therefore, the Son shall make you free,
you shall be free indeed!"

John 8: 36

 

Becoming involved with Point Man Ministries was the tool that God used to bring
me face to face with the emotions and feelings that had plagued me for many years.
As I continue to meet with local veterans and their families, I find that I am the one
who is being ministered to. As we study the word of God together weekly, I have experienced God's continued forgiveness and grace. I have come to forgive the
ones who orchestrated the Vietnam fiasco, and having experienced the forgiveness and freedom that only Jesus Christ can give, I have come to forgive myself for any shortcomings I perceive I might have had as an FMF Corpsman. Praise God for
the healing that He gives!

You too can experience FREEDOM. Freedom from guilt and shame. Freedom from wrong habits and unforgiveness.
Freedom to live the rest of the time on this earth, not for the desires of men, but for the glory of God. The important thing is to take that first step. Get with a pastor, a Christian friend, or contact Point Man International Ministries. They'll listen!