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Saturdays rock -- at least if one doesn't have to work, they do. I just woke up from a brief yet deliciously sinful, late afternoon nap. The following is the last part of a dream I was in just before waking up. I thought it was "funny," in both "ha ha" and "peculiar" definitions, and for reasons unknown to me, decided to share it with you.
Caveat emptor: I haven't done this before. Ever. So this might be shit from word go. You've been warned.
Premise: if the outlaw Josey Wales had his own website
The scene: the outlaw/webmaster Wales is seated with legs crossed and extended, boots up on a table. He's leaning back balancing on the chair's rear legs, hat shifted forward, brim flat down over his nose. He is approached by a young and obviously adoring fan.
Fan: "You sleepin', Mr. Wales?"
Wales: "Nope, not sleepin', kid. Just taking a good, long look at the inside of my eyelids ..."
Fan: "Mr. Wales, iffin you don't mind?"
Wales: "Spit it out, kid."
Fan: "I was at the computer last night and read your whole website."
Wales: "The whole site?"
Fan: "That's right, Mr. Wales -- the whole site."
Wales: "Well that's a lot of readin' there, Missy."
Fan shyly half turns away and blushes.
Wales: "You must have one helluva lota patience to read that whole web site in one sittin'."
Fan (nodding): "I reckon so, Mr. Wales."
(pregnant pause, strictly for dramatic effect)
Wales: "'Course patience and brains is two different things."
THE END
E-mail: alienjeff@charter.net