Home | What's new | Open Letters | Overheard | Essays | Quotes | Half Baked | Trifocal | Satire | Radio Matters | Faves | Site Map | Contact




new.jpeg
       DREAM CONFESSIONAL
       please forgive me Father, for I have dreamed. Uh, dreamt?




Saturdays rock -- at least if one doesn't have to work, they do. I just woke up from a brief yet deliciously sinful, late afternoon nap. The following is the last part of a dream I was in just before waking up. I thought it was "funny," in both "ha ha" and "peculiar" definitions, and for reasons unknown to me, decided to share it with you.

Caveat emptor: I haven't done this before. Ever. So this might be shit from word go. You've been warned.


Premise: if the outlaw Josey Wales had his own website

The scene: the outlaw/webmaster Wales is seated with legs crossed and extended, boots up on a table. He's leaning back balancing on the chair's rear legs, hat shifted forward, brim flat down over his nose. He is approached by a young and obviously adoring fan.


Fan: "You sleepin', Mr. Wales?"

Wales: "Nope, not sleepin', kid. Just taking a good, long look at the inside of my eyelids ..."

Fan: "Mr. Wales, iffin you don't mind?"

Wales: "Spit it out, kid."

Fan: "I was at the computer last night and read your whole website."

Wales: "The whole site?"

Fan: "That's right, Mr. Wales -- the whole site."

Wales: "Well that's a lot of readin' there, Missy."

Fan shyly half turns away and blushes.

Wales: "You must have one helluva lota patience to read that whole web site in one sittin'."

Fan (nodding): "I reckon so, Mr. Wales."

(pregnant pause, strictly for dramatic effect)

Wales: "'Course patience and brains is two different things."

THE END


Satire menu


Main menu



Get Firefox! Valid CSS! valid-html401.gif E-mail: alienjeff@charter.net
URL: http://alienjeff.gotdns.com/dream.html
Text - Copyright © 2005 by Jeff Bauer
Web Layout - Copyright © 2003-2005 by Off Frequency Productions
Revised - Saturday, December 10, 2005