Dear Folk,

Happiest of Lughnasad! August 1st is the traditional feast of Lugh or Lammas. It marks the first harvest of crops in the Celtic wheel of the year. It is midway between Summer Solstice and Autumn Equinox. So I pray for you, especially you, that some of your well-planted crops bear ripe and wondrous fruit. Tonight, as we were driving home, we passed by strawberry fields. The season is just over and the fields are now finished. No one has bothered to tell the last berries which have ripened in our unseasonably warm sun. The fields send up vapors redolent beyond the best strawberry preserves you have ever tasted. It is infinitely passed any strawberry-like artificial scent. Nothing is like the air of Lughnasad in Oceano. Oh, you wanted history?

The young prince was so nice, gracious and friendly that folks took him for being a flake. Yet, in his time he became one of the best of kings: a defender of his people and the church. His name was Louis, as so many French kings were called. He was Louis VI "the Fat." He died on this day August 1, 1137. I think a story or two from his life might warm you a bit to him.

When Louis became king his kingdom was being ravaged by a very unpleasant knight named Thomas of Marle. Thom had laid waste the territories of Laon, Rheims and Amiens. He killed both priests and friars, oh dear. He seized two manors, rich ones, from the abbey of the nuns of St. John. He grabbed and fortified the castles of Crecy and Nogent. Those he made into a den of robbers and thieves. From there, he and his merry band of cutthroats would sally out, take donations, and return with a pony-keg or two.

The Church of France got pretty darned upset, condemned this stealer of nun's property, took away the "gentleman's" knightly belt in abstentia. They called upon the King to do something.

And the king was moved by the complaints of this great Church council and led an army against Sir Thom right quickly. Louis and clergy marched straight against the castle of Crecy. Although it was well-fortified, he caught them off-guard and smote them mightily. No mercy for these brigands. He set fire to the tower. His biographer said, "None could behold the castle tower flaming like the fires of hell and not exclaim, 'The whole universe will fight for him against these madmen.'" Isn't that a good biographer?!

Hey, the troops were getting into this smiting business. One castle down, one to go. On to Nogent. Louis got word that not only were those rascals destroying the commune of Laon, burning the city of Laon, but darn it, tore up the church dedicated to the Blessed Virgin. Sir Thom of Marle also killed any guy moving. He was so wicked as to cut off finger of Bishop Gaudin to take his papal ring.

The king got really riled by this news. Finger-cutting is so tacky. He led his men in and got medieval on Thom and his boys' buttocks. Any bad boy he found alive, he hung up and let the birds have their way with
the corpses. Again, king and Church made a dynamic duo.

When he finished off those two castles and got the monastery land back, he trucked back to Amiens and laid siege to a tower held by a dude named Adam, another robber of the Church. Took him two years to get inside but Louis was a thorough king.

Okay, I guess we ought to talk about his weight problem. Yes, he was gravitationally challenged. He had to be helped onto his horse. French food can do that to a person. He was arguably the first king of the Capetian line to have obedience from his barons. Really; most of the time; well, you know how barons can be.

He fought many battles and never really lost disastrously. He did make some inroads into Flanders. He did not give up much land at all. He did go into battle himself even though the armor most have chafed horribly.

Okay, bet you cannot tell me who was is daughter-in-law. Give you a hint: she was the most eligible bachelorette in Europe. She became queen not only of France but of England. She gave birth to two notable kings of England. Think Katherine Hepburn. Yep, Eleanor of Aquitaine, the lady who brought the Renaissance to England. When the Duke of Aquitaine died, he entrusted Louis VI with her protection. Louis married her to his son. She later left him for Henry Plantagenet (Hank II).

Today also marks the publication of "De corporis humani fabrica libri vii" August 1, 1543. That seminal book was the best known work of the father of human anatomy, Vesalius. Vesalius is important because he did not speculate, he operated. He stole corpses from the gallows to work upon at night in his room. See why I love him? His work proved the conjectures of Galen to be absolutely false.

He demonstrated anatomy from town to town. Thank heavens that there was sort of a ready supply of training aids. Nowadays you dig up one lousy coffin and folks get really torqued. He secured a teaching post in Padua where he taught from 1539 to 1546. Cutting up folk, even if they are already dead criminals was just not accepted in some quarters. Tell me about it! Fact is, there was a serious lynching party set to turn Vesalius over to Church authorities. Vesalius burned some of his own work so as not to get whacked. He decided to go on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem and received there a message that all was cool in Padua and "by the way, you have a full teaching load." Vesalius never returned, unfortunately. The father of scientific dissection and anatomy died as a result of a shipwreck coming home on October 15, 1565.

Today is also, by Shakespeare's telling, Juliet's birthday. Happy B-day, Julie-babe! Wasn't Claire Danes just wonderful in that part? No offense to Olivia Hussey, either. If either of you ladies are reading this, my email address is just below my name. *G*

What have we learned from this? It smells great in Oceano tonight? Sometimes fat folk can be very nice and helpful? Even fictional characters need birthdays? Sometimes the best thing you can say about someone is that they did not do too badly as king? How about: the stupid townspeople know nothing of Science? And they called me mad at the university, mad I say!

As always, Igor shall pass amongst you to take donations. If you feel compelled to send these Scientific histories to someone else, bless your heart. May I have it after you are done using it? Anyway, please keep my name and sig attached.

Stealing your heart away,
J. Ellsworth Weaver

SCA - Sir Balthazar of Endor
AS - Polyphemus Theognis
TRV - Sebastian Yeats
Baylor - Brother Nozetradamus