Rock Breaks Windows

Dear Folk,

On this day perished a bad king having a bad reaction to a defenestration and a saint who had already survived the plague.

Roche or Rock or Rocky was a survivor. He had contracted the Black Death, the bubonic plague, and crawled off into the woods to die. He didn't die, much to his surprise: he lingered a bit. A dog came by with some bread and gave it to Rocky. This is the origin of the legend of the Taco Bell dog, who recently passed on from complications due to gout and diverticulitus. I am still distraught about that, by the way. Why did they have to take little "Yo Querro Perro?" But I digress.

Rocky had a vision where an angel of the Lord appeared and squeezed out the poison of his swelling nodules on his thigh. Yuck! He recovered and went back to the plague areas and helped nurse many victims. Some he saved. In Europe fully one third of the entire population died of the plague. Death eventually came for Rocky on August 16, 1327 in Montpelier, France.

Rocky quickly was canonized and became the Patron Saint of plague victims. He is usually shown holding up his garment to show his sores on his thigh. A dog usually accompanies him. I think it is appropriate to invoke his intercession with any sort of a plague at all: locusts, bills, food poisoning. It is in my church. You have to decide for yourselves.

The king was not "Good King Wenceslas" but probably the worst of his name. Wencelslas (Vaclav) IV was the son of Charles I (IV - as German Emperor) whose reign is considered the golden age of Bohemian history. Charles was a constitutional king and was very good at making his citizens healthy, wealthy and wise. Obviously, this could not last. His son Wencelsas was proof that greatness often skips a generation or two. He was addicted to partying. Hey, things were great, no need to worry!

Due to his neglect, Wenceslas managed to lose most of the German empire. Some histories say he was so publicly and shamefully drunk at times that he was removed from office of king twice by rebellious nobility. And you thought that the Scots were hard on their rulers. Perhaps history is a little unfair to him.

He was crowned king of Bohemia in 1363 and king of the Romans in 1376. Daddy Charles died in 1378, leaving his 25 year old son on the throne. The power vacuum drew the rebellion to full flame in all the regions. Wenceslas was a peace-loving man who held many conferences on how best to have folks get along. The Germans, who had felt neglected, wanted their own imperial governor and got pretty darned nasty about it. Wenceslas did what anyone would have done: he moved. Prague was so much nicer. This hacked off the Germans even more. Finally, in August 1400, when Wenceslas refused to attend another meeting of the German princes, they deposed him and elected Rupert (Ruprecht) III, elector Palatine, king of the Romans. Wenceslas was, however, able to retain the title of German king for the rest of his life.

Well, there was always Bohemia, right? Wenceslas' reign in Bohemia was even less successful than that in Germany. He was young and his relatives thought he ought to appoint them to high positions. His cousin Jobst led a rebellion which captured and imprisoned Wenceslas. The Germans came to his aid but Jobst managed to get himself appointed as governor of the realm. So much for any kingly power. Later in 1402 his half brother Sigismund deposed Wenceslas in Bohemia. Fact is, Wenceslas found himself back in prison. He was collecting a lot of very bad tattoos and getting no tans. You know, it is sad because Wenceslas helped bro. Siggy to become king of Hungary.

Once more sprung from jail, Wenceslas was told to go sit in a corner while other folks ruled. A spiritual life was all he had left. Some of the spirits he drank; the rest he invested in making the Church better. He supported the church reformers led by Jan Hus (the Hussites). In fact, Wenceslas wrote a letter of protection for Hus when Hus was summoned to testify about his reforms to the Catholic Church. Wenceslas' letter was promptly ignored and Jan Hus was burned at the stake. The Hussites had wanted the Church to give up its wealth, to teach what the Bible said, be more uniform and fair about religious judgments. This was, of course, heresy. Jan Hus, by the way, was heavily influenced by the writings of John Wyclif. Wyclif you may remember was protected by Joan the Fair Maid of Kent.

Anyway, the Hussites got radical for the next few years. They raged through Prague and managed to break into a town council meeting. Deciding, in a Christian way, not to spill any blood, the Hussites merely threw the council members out of the windows (defenestration). Unfortunately the council rooms were a tad high up and the council members earned their wings. When Wenceslas, the drunken, ineffectual, powerless king heard of this, his poor heart broke. He died of a heart attack on August 16, 1419.

Wenceslas was married twice, first to Joanna of Lower Bavaria (died in 1386) and, from 1389, to Sophia of Bavaria. He had no children, and the Bohemian crown passed to Sigismund. And personally, I hope it chafed his head and wore a bald spot on it.

What have we learned from this? History can be so cruel to kings? You can pick your friends but you cannot pick your relatives? No matter how much you do for some people, they are never satisfied? How about a quote from Harlan Ellison: "I know what love is; a boy loves his dog."

Hey, if you are throwing these missives out the window, do keep my name and sig attached. If these are spamming up your windows, let me know and I shall take you off the mailing. Do notice the new archive location. I am doing my best to keep all of these together.

I eat my nachos grande, myself,
J. Ellsworth Weaver

SCA - Sir Balthazar of Endor
AS - Polyphemus Theognis
TRV - Sebastian Yeat