Mad King and Two Moms

Dear Folk,

Today, August 5 marks the second onset of madness in a king and the conclusion of a major peace treaty by two women. Which would you hear of first? Okay, mad kings are interesting. Let us being with Charles VI of France.

Chuck VI (1368 to 1422) became king at the age of 12. Remember Henry III of England? As we pointed out there, it is tough being king as a pre-teen. He was, as most of us are at that age, dreamy and nice, kind of Renfaire material, you know? Of course his adult uncles, Dukes of Berry, Burgundy, Bourbon, and Anjou, were moral and upright men who set a good example for the young king. Well, not exactly. They told Chuck to just lay back while they took care of the nasty details of ruling. They helped the country with higher taxes and then managed to vote themselves pay raises. I guess the US Congress learned from them.

It was not like France had a lot of cash to waste, either. The Hundred Years War with England had bankrupted most of the royal and not so royal treasuries. In 1388 Chuck, aided by brother Louis of Orleans, kicked out his uncles and put back in guys who used to council their dad.

In 1385 lightning struck the heart of Charles VI. Not actually, that is a metaphor. The stunningly beautiful Bavarian Princess Isabeau (1371-1435) arrived in Chuck's court. She was 14 and was beyond description. Her beauty set its hooks in Charles' face. He could not stop looking at her. He arranged that they should be married immediately. It was a meeting of souls. Well, it was as close to that as you could get without her speaking French and him not speaking German. He dug her and that was enough. Remember he was 17. Need I say more?

The honeymoon lasted for what seemed like a year or two. Chuck was studly, Isabeau was beautiful if a tad vacant. She never did learn to speak French very well, did love partying. Folks started to say she was selfish and vain. But of course!

The honeymoon came to an end in April of 1392. Chuck contracted a mysterious illness which caused him to lose his hair and nails. Was it poison? Was it a disease? Who can say? He was still sick when one of his advisors was attacked. Chuck decided to go do a kingly thing and set things right.

On this day August 5, 1392 King Charles VI was riding up front of his assault force when a Christopher Lloyd looking dude ran up to him and shouted out words of doom and betrayal. The king shook it off but looked a tad worried. Next thing you know a page dropped a lance. Whoops! Don't you just hate clumsy pages? I know I do and understand why Chuck drew his sword and killed four of his own men before they could subdue him. The king went into a seizure and they had to find an oxcart to truck him back home. For two days Chuck lay in a coma. With the help of a physician, Guillaume de Harcigny, he made a partial recovery. When Charles heard that he had killed four of his own men, he wept. From then on his mental health was never quite right.

On January 28, 1393 Queen Isabeau gave a masque. For you non-medievalists out there, masques were theme parties with playlets in the middle. Really groovy thangs but hard to host unless you are really rich (and decadent.) Charles VI and a group of his courtiers dressed up like 'wild men' in linen costumes. These costumes were not OSHA approved and you can guess what happened next. They were accidentally set alight by a torch and four of them burned alive. Charles was saved by the Duchess of Berry, who threw her voluminous skirts over him. Got to admire that lady. True, she was his aunt but still that was a nice touch. I had a real crush on one of my aunts once but that is quite none of your business. You can image how much toasting his troop depressed Chuck.

June of 1393 found Chuck strung out with a bad case of the dementia. A surgeon did some trepanning (cutting holes in the skull) of the king hoping that or anything would help. It did for about 2 years. He suffered a relapse in 1395. In 1397 Chuck knew it wasn't going well. He told folks to keep sharp objects away from him. The church folk tried an exorcism. It did not seem to work.

Chuck went from small periods of being lucid to times where he thought he was made of glass and could break if anyone got too close. He stopped washing or changing his clothes. Lice and the smell were getting to be a bit much. His doctors had some guys dress up in black face, hide in the king's chamber to jump out and scare him. Seemed to work, at least as far as letting folks bathe him.

Now Isabeau hung in there with Chuck until about 1407. I mean, she was still getting lots of cash and throwing outrageous parties. Problem was Chuck was getting dangerous. Isabeau arranged to have a cute young thing, Odette de Champdivers, to take her place in the king's bed. She meanwhile decided that brother-in-law Louis of Orleans looked studly like her hubby without that annoying madness. Louis had been hot for her since she arrived in court. Pretty soon it was obvious to everybody that they were eating ice cream off the same spoon. Say no more. In fact, some were so bold to say that when Young Charles was born in 1403, he looked more like Unca Louis than Chuck.

Although Chuck looked healthy from the outside, he was not very competent to rule. There became a shoving match between Louis and a guy named John the Fearless of Burgundy to see who controlled poor demented Chuck. John had Louis whacked in 1407. Now Isabeau had just given birth to her 12th child and could see the best way to survive. She sided with John the Fearless.

This all got very Byzantine in a hurry. Isabeau put on quite a bit of weight and was confined to a wheel chair. She lived with her pets and children and hangers-on. Bernard of Armagnac guarded the interests of her children and when he found out that Isabeau was plotting with the Duke of Burgundy, he took revenge by informing the King about the Queen's dissolute behaviour. Her son, Young Charles, told daddy that mommy was messing around on him out at Vincennes. Dad actually rallied enough to go out there and grab someone who was designated as Isabeau's latest beau. Poor sap was tortured, strangled and thrown into the Seine in a leather sack. Isabeau was bawled out but it did little good.

Isabeau had a new favorite, Jean de Villers, whack Bernard of Armagnac and carve the cross of Burgundy on his chest. Lovely lady. You know, Isabeau still liked John the Fearless which mightily peeved her son, Young Charles. Young Charles had John hacked to death. Isabeau disowned her 16 year old son and named her daughter Catherine next in line.

King Henry V of England invaded France in 1415 and miraculously, for he was against a French force five times his, beat the flower of French chivalry at Agincourt. Hank rescued Chuck VI from living in squalor and brought him back to Paris. He put Chuck on an orange and pomegranate diet which seemed to help. In 1421 Chuck took a downturn and died amongst strangers. Hank V died the same year. Hank's young son was crowned Hank VI (1421 to 1471) as king of both England and France.

Young Charles was strangely afflicted too. He had a fear of assassination attempts; okay, you can see why. He also had a fear of bridges: he had had John the Fearless whacked on a bridge. It seems like most of Chuck's kids had some sort of mental problems. Some folks think it could have been some inherited malfunction, others think it could have been something like encephalitis. Still others think that there was a whole lot of poisoning going on. Not a pleasant time for anyone.

Let us talk of peace.

Peace of Cambrai was signed into effect on this day August 5, 1529. It was known as the "Ladies' Peace" because it was negotiated by two women who played prominent roles in the political affairs of their times: Margaret of Austria (on behalf of Charles V), and Louise of Savoy (the mother of François I of France). An armistice of sorts ensued upon the Peace of Cambrai. France and Austria were both intent upon gaining total control over Europe and both failed to achieve their goal. By the terms of the truce, François renounced his claim to Italy, Flanders and Artois. The Holy Roman Emperor Charles V gave up his claim to Burgundy and most all of France.

What can we learn from this? Madness in royalty is not too rare (especially in France?) Don't mess with queens? Pomegranates can be very helpful? Got two of them on my arms BTW. Beauty has its way? Living at court can be very dangerous? Don't wear costumes that obstruct your vision and are flammable? I think my take on this is more toward Margaret of Austria and Louise of Savoy: peace is best negotiated by those who give us life. Thanks, moms everywhere.

As always, if you are flinging these monkeys toward other folk, leave my name and sig attached.

Madly yours,
J. Ellsworth Weaver

SCA - Sir Balthazar of Endor
AS - Polyphemus Theognis
TRV - Sebastian Yeats