Eddie and the Cruisers

Dear Folks,

On this date June 23, 1314 Edward II crossed the Bannockburn on his way to beat on the Scots. He was in for a rude surprise.

Edward II just wasn't the macho dude that his father, Eddie I (Longshanks, was and failed miserably as king. He inherited his father's war with Scotland and displayed a rather "ineptitude" as a soldier. Disgruntled barons (them barons can get gruntled and dis very easily even in the West), already wary of Eddie as Prince of Wales, sought to check his power from the beginning of his reign. He really hacked off the nobility by lavishing money and other rewards upon his male favorites. Such extreme unpopularity would eventually cost Eddie II his life.

Edward I's dream of a unified British nation quickly disintegrated under his weak son. Baronial rebellion opened the way for Robert Bruce to reconquer much of Scotland. In 1314, Bruce defeated English forces at the battle of Bannockburn and ensured Scottish independence until the union of England and Scotland in 1707. Bruce also incited rebellion in Ireland and reduced English influence to the confines of the Pale (England proper).

Edward's preference for surrounding himself with outsiders just was not the thing to do. The most notable was Piers Gaveston, a young Gascon exiled by Edward I for his undue influence on the Prince of Wales and, most likely, the new king's homosexual lover. Okay, it wasn't just that Gaveston was French and gay, it was that he was haughty. The English could bear haughtiness in themselves much better than they ever could in the French. The magnates, alienated by the relationship, rallied in opposition behind the king's cousin, Thomas, Earl of Lancaster; the Parliaments of 1310 and 1311 imposed restrictions on Edward's power and exiled Gaveston. The barons revolted in 1312 and Gaveston was murdered (shed a tear, he was thrown from the battlements) - full rebellion was avoided only by Edward's acceptance of further restrictions. Although Lancaster shared the responsibilities of governing with Edward, the king came under the influence of yet another despicable favorite, Hugh Dispenser. In 1322, Edward showed a rare display of grit and gathered an army to meet Lancaster at the Battle of Boroughbridge in Yorkshire. Edward to the surprise of most won and executed Lancaster. He and Dispenser ruled the government but again acquired many enemies - 28 knights and barons were executed for rebelling and many exiled. It is not healthy to say no to certain kings.

Eddie sent his queen, Isabella, to negotiate with her brother, French king Chuck IV, regarding affairs in Gascony. She fell into an open romance with Roger Mortimer (aww, ain't love grand?), one of Edward's disaffected barons, and persuaded Eddie to send their young son to France. The rebellious couple invaded England in 1326 and imprisoned Eddie. The king was deposed in 1327, replaced by his son, Eddie III, and murdered in September at Berkeley castle. Rumor has it that it was done by a hot poker in a tender place. Unfortunate end for a weak king.

Sir Richard Baker, said about Edward I in A Chronicle of the Kings of England, "His great unfortunateness was in his greatest blessing; for of four sons which he had by his Queen Eleanor, three of them died in his own lifetime, who were worthy to have outlived him; and the fourth outlived him, who was worthy never to have been born."

What can we learn from this? Avoid haughty Frenchmen? A son is not required to worship at the altar of his father? Don't go to Scotland and just expect to kick butt? When spiders (or barons) unite, they can tie down a lion? Maybe although it is good to be the King, sometimes the Queen rules the day.

As ever, being careful of kings,
Ellsworth