Hairshirts & Heresies

Dear Folk,

In line with our approach to Samhain, the day of the dead, which is popularly called Halloween, let us consider that on October 11, 1231 Conrad of Marburg was directed by Pope Gregory IX to uproot Satanism in the region of Thuringia.

Guess we had better talk about Conrad a bit. Not much is known about Conrad's early life. He was born near Marburg, Germany sometime in the second half of the twelfth century. We do know that he was addressed as "Magister" which implies that he completed a course of study at some university. He was probably neither a Franciscan nor a Dominican but a plain-vanilla secular priest. Well, the Catholic Church liked him just fine. Letters of the time talked about him as being a man of much ability, large theological learning, great eloquence, ardent zeal in the defense of the purity of Catholic Faith. Oh yes, he was a SEVERE ascetic. As you could guess, he was not exactly a bowlful of jelly. He was stern, unsmiling. Hair shirts will do that to you.

The first time anyone really noticed him was in 1213. He was ranting and spitting fire in favor of a crusade proclaimed by Pope Innocent III. Pope Innocent III had the bad grace to die before the crusade could ramp up and so most just kind of let it slide. Not Conrad. He was still hot to serve. Pope Honorius III decided that Conrad would be just the people-person to go smooth things out between the convent of Nihenburg and the Dukes of Saxony and Askaien. In 1227 Conrad served on a panel to help separate Marburg from the parish of Oberweimar. When the synod (a convention of sorts) of Mainz in 1225 issued decrees on how to get the clergy whipped back into shape, guess who was appointed whip-master? You got it. He also plied some of the strappage to several convents.

In the course of all this toiling in the vineyards, Conrad came to the attention of the Landgrave (prince) Ludwig of Thuringia and his wife Elizabeth. Ludwig really dug Conrad to the extent that Conrad was authorized by him to appoint all ecclesiastical offices in Thuringia. When Elizabeth's confessor, Rodger (a Franciscan), was recalled, Conrad became Elizabeth's spiritual adviser.

Let us briefly talk of the Landgravine Elizabeth who was later made St. Elizabeth of Hungary. She was the daughter of King Andrew II of Hungary, born in Bratislava in 1207. She married Ludwig when she was only 14. What was a marriage of state quickly became a love match. Ludwig was crazy for her and always brought her back souvenirs from each of his military campaigns. In the six years they were married, they had three kids. Ludwig died on the Fifth Crusade in Otranto in 1227. It was the plague which took him off. He had a special ring that he told Elizabeth he would have sent her if he ever got offed. Of course, when the ring made it back, Elizabeth knew it was over. Fact is, as Ludwig's widow she was thrown out of the palace by the new pretender to the throne Henry Raspe.

As spiritual teacher, Conrad would think up nifty little traps and disobediences for Elizabeth to fall for. When she fell, he was there to help guide her onto the path of righteousness by some mortification of the flesh. It was nothing much more than he did to himself, you understand.

Although she wore the exterior finery when hubby was home, underneath Elizabeth wore a hair shirt. She fasted continuously, hugged lepers, lots of St. Francis stuff. There was a story, possibly invented by Conrad who was responsible for her biography and helped get her made a saint, that Elizabeth found a leprous child out in the snow. She picked him up and placed him on her couch. Scandalized servants reported this to Ludwig. When the Landgrave went to see the leper, he saw instead the Christ child. There is little doubt that this young mom really wanted to be as good and Christ-like as she could. When Ludwig died, she became a Franciscan tertiary under Conrad's direction. He ordered her to give up her children and it is said that he beat her and her maids so hard that the marks remained for weeks on their backs. She died on November 19, 1231 at the age of 24. She was canonized in 1235.

At this time, some free-thinking and an urge toward religious reform was pestering the Roman Catholics. The Cathari (see "Unto the Pure") and Waldenses were beginning to attract followers. These heresies were treated as diabolically inspired. There were even some folk who believed that the God of the Catholics was actually the real Devil. These heretics worshipped a "Lord of Light"-- Lucifer. Yep, this was a Manachean heresy of the worst sort. Heretics were burned at the stake to teach them a lesson and to show the remaining folks that the Catholic Church was not evil and wicked like these heretics were saying.

Pope Gregory IX heard that Conrad had been preaching against and bashing heretics. Heinrich Minnike, Provost of Goslar had been Conrad's target. Heinrich went to the stake after a two year trial. That was good. The pope sent an attaboy letter to Conrad in 1227. In October 11, 1231 Conrad got the nod to become the first Papal Inquisitor in Germany. Further the pope essentially said "You may dispense with the niceties of church law, just whack them heretics."

Conrad hired some assistants: Conrad Dorso (a Dominican lay-brother) and John, a layman. These guys were anxious to please and to serve Conrad of Marburg. Heck, they were minions like you just cannot find anymore. They did not hesitate to grab anyone who appeared suspicious and accuse them of being a heretic or a Satanist. Conrad of Marburg, the trusting and loving soul that he was, just believed his employees: a Theory Y manager. Perhaps it was a training issue. The two helpers said that they could just sense who was a heretic. Hard to have measurable standards in this work. Their charges were widespread and folks either confessed and did whatever penance was appropriate or they were tortured and then burned at the stake. How many perished? I do not know. Does it really matter? The whole of western Germany was in a panic of this rather obscure cleric whose motto was "We would gladly burn a hundred if just one of them is guilty." Is that dedication or what?

When the Count of Sayn was accused of heresy, things got pretty tense. The count appealed to the Archbishop of Mainz. The archbishop convened a synod in July 25, 1233 and had King Henry sit in on it. The bishops and the nobles did not really like or trust Conrad, who was there at the synod. How those stiff-necked clerics could not tell that Count of Sayn was not a heretic was beyond Conrad. After all, didn't Conrad Dorso and John say he was? The synod of Mainz could not find anyway to convict the count of heresy. Conrad calmly and honorably cited his papal commission and preached a crusade against all those heretic nobles.

Conrad and a friend, the Franciscan Gerhard Lutzelbolb, were riding home to Marburg from the synod on July 30, 1233. You can bet they were discussing strategy and tactics against those smart aleck nobles. They were set upon by person or persons unknown and got themselves acutely and chronically deceased. The loyal folk of Marburg buried Conrad's body near his Landgravine St. Elizabeth.

Pope Gregory IX said that he did not care one bit about the synod of Mainz, Conrad was his boy and it was wrong to whack him. There is no record that these assassins ever were caught. The Inquisition did not end with Conrad; however, it sort of started with and around him. Conrad used torture, denunciations, confessions and his henchmen's intuition to lead the Church to what they truly wanted: purity.

So what have we learned? Young princesses can be persuaded to do almost anything? Evil must be fought with evil as fire is with fire? Saints hug lots of lepers? Nobles do not take well to rabble priests denouncing them? How about something out of the book of Timothy: "unto the pure all is pure; unto the defiled nothing is clean?"

If you are indicting a count, offing an inquisitor, or just flogging a landgravine and you wish to forward these missives to others, please do. Just leave my name and sig attached.

Honi soit qui mal y pense ("Evil to whom who thinks evil") the motto of the British Order of the Garter,
Ellsworth Weaver

SCA - Sir Balthazar of Endor
AS - Polyphemus Theognis
TRV - Sebastian Yeats