That's Poitiers, Sidney!

Dear Folk,

On September 17 (some date it the 19th), 1356, the Black Prince met with King Jean II of France. Somebody was not going to go home alone. Some were not going home at all.

We are talking about the ever-popular time known as the Hundred Years War. It was a tussle for the English lands in France. Remember that the Plantagenets, leading off from William the Bastard or Conqueror (you choose) right up to Henry V, had been kings of England but also major land holders on the continent.

A great excuse for war was the claim of the kings of England to the French throne. Edward III of England (remember he was son of the executed Eddie II of "Eddie and the Cruisers") claimed that he was the legal heir to the French throne through his mother, Isabella, sister to King Charles IV of France, who had died in 1328. Isabella had been responsible for her husband's death and the succession of her son. She was a pretty danged strong-willed woman, a "perilous beauty" in Brian Jacques' terms. The French, however, said that the crown could not descend through the female line and gave the throne to Philip VI, cousin to the deceased king. You see, that kind of politically incorrect thinking can get someone in trouble.

Edward's peevishness toward Philip was chronic because France had helped Scotland in the wars waged by Edward and his father against the Scottish kings for the throne of Scotland. Plus, there was the matter of Flanders. England and France both wanted exclusive trading rights with the Flemish merchants.

Although there had been some chest thumping and some pushing earlier, most folk date the start of the War as May 24, 1337 when Philip VI grabbed the duchy of Guienne from the English. Edward owned that land fair and square. True, he owed allegiance to Philip for it. Does this sound confusing? Try being one of the English monarchs at the time. They were tops at home but across the channel they were beholding to some Frenchman.

In 1338 Edward III declared himself king of France. Now that was just the thing to cheese off Philip. Edward decided it was time to go look at his new kingdom and scheduled a tour de France starting up north. There were some opening greetings exchanged between French and English soldiers but no one won anything like a major battle. The sailors did better for the English at a battle off the city of Sluis in the Netherlands in 1340. Them Limey swabbies proved themselves and for quite some time afterward the English owned the English Channel. Note it is not called the French Channel, eh?

A boring three year truce was called for in 1343 but Edward decided to trek back to France just to see if he could. Well, on August 26, 1346 Edward found out he could when he caught the French at the Battle of Crecy and then took the city of Calais after a year long siege.

Another boring series of truces kept everyone pretty much alive from 1347 to 1355. King Philip was a notable exception who expired and left the shoving match to his son Jean II. Now Edward III's son, Edward the Black Prince (not to be confused with the Black Death although both had the same effect), was in charge of slicing and dicing on his side. He took Bordeaux in 1355 and used it as a base to go out raiding most of southern France. The wine was good, the women fair, the purses rich. Later in 1355 King Edward and the Duke of Lancaster went to Calais. There were English in the south and now in the north. King Jean raised his own army in defense.

In 1356 the Black Prince decided to meet with Lancaster so he set off from his new home in Bordeaux, packed some wine and cheese, headed across the Loire river to link up. Of course the English had to do a tad of freelancing raping and pillaging along the way. What good is being a soldier without it? There really wasn't much strategy involved here.

King Jean just followed the smell of burning villages and the hordes of folks fleeing until he found Edward the Black Prince's troops. The troops were kind of laden heavy with all that treasure and were slow moving by now. The French destroyed the bridges over the Loire which made Edward's retreat kind of iffy. In a way that aided the English: if you cannot retreat, you tend to fight that much harder. Myself, I would have appeared to allow one bridge to stand. Tee-hee.

Prince Edward settled on a position approximately two miles south of Poitiers. He chose a wooded slope protected on the west by marshes and on the north and east by hedges. Edward divided his force of approximately 7,000 men into three units, all of which fought on foot.

Before the battle could start, Cardinal Tallyrand tried to work out a peace arrangement. A truce was called on September 16, and the French began to make demands. Everyone disagrees as to what Prince Edward's bargaining position was. He either offered to surrender Calais and the other English possessions in France or simply stated that he had no authority from his father to make any deals whatsoever. Regardless, he was not able to satisfy the French, whatever their demands were.

There is also some dispute as to whether or not the Prince tried to strategically withdraw, polite term for "sneaking off", after the negotiations had failed and before the battle in order to escape to Bordeaux with his truckloads of lava lamps and costume jewelry. Strangely, the French seemed to just while away the hours during this negotiation and not even surround the English. I guess they thought they had caught these chicken hounds dead to rights. The French had about 20,000 more men than the English.

The French were not able to use these numbers effectively. First off they listened to Sir William Douglas and had most of their troops dismount. Hey, the English had won with these tactics. True, they did so only on the defense. Would that make a difference? The French had a contingent of Genoese crossbowmen whom they actually hated and just scattered them throughout the troops. Maybe it was so the French could keep an eye on them. King Jean picked 300 elite knights to go ride up and kill those silly English bowmen. The rest of the troops were split three ways: Jean's 19 year old son the Dauphin, the Duke of Orleans (Jean's brother, also inexperienced), and the King who led the biggest group.

Things went badly for the French cavalry. The English hid their archers beneath hedges and in marshes and popped the French in the flanks and rear. That was hardly playing fair. The cavalry retired, riding over the infantry trying hard to charge. Although the Dauphin's forces tried, the English held the hedges and with a mobile force of 400 extra guys they could reinforce any weak spots.

The Dauphin's forces decided to go back a bit. That gave the English time to pick up arrows, retrieve the wounded, have a spot of tea and some nice sandwiches. Somehow, and it may have been that someone told the Dauphin not to stay on the battlefield or maybe something else weird happened but the Dauphin left. His troops followed him away from the battle. Duke of Orleans' men saw this and they left, too, without even throwing a blow or insulting the English.

What would you have thought, said or done if you had been King Jean? Here his son and brother both lead their troops away from the battle leaving you alone with the English. Okay, his force still outnumber the English. Forward France! The English almost messed their armor when they saw the force coming to bash them. There were a lot of battlefield conversions and conversations with the Lord, you can bet. Edward sent a Gascon named Captal de Buch with 60 men and 100 archers to sneak out of camp and swing around the slope to come out of the thickets and hit the French from the flanks and rear. Got the picture?

The English main force massed up, ran down the hill toward the French. The French charged the English. Just as they were back to back and belly to belly, teeth and eyeballs flying all over, the little contingent lead by Captal de Buch opened up on the French from behind. "Alors! Where are these arrows coming <gack!>?" Yep! The French ran away toward Poitiers thinking that they had been trapped. King Jean and his retinue which included his son stayed to be knocked down or captured by the English. The English wound up slaying many of the fleeing French because the folk of Poitiers had locked their gates and were not about to allow a battle to continue inside their walls. The ground outside the gates was slick with French blood.

This was not the end of the 100 Years War. Actually when it was all over, England had lost Edward III and his son the Black Prince, and all of the English claims to land in France. This was only a brief high spot in that war. Bragging rights to those English who were there, doncha know? To beat England took the strength of a farm girl who heard voices and dressed in men's armor. But that is another story.

What have we learned? Bordeaux is a great place to hangout? Black Plagues and Black Princes can really ruin your day? Stiff-necked knights can be loosened by some English acupuncture? To win a battle is not to win the war? How about always leave your enemy a route of retreat?

So if you are off pin-cushioning a few nobles (like I got to try this weekend with Baron Akmir; thanks, Excellency), raiding and pillaging a few French towns, or just locking your doors to a running army, and you want to send these off to someone, do so but leave my name and sig attached.

Showing folk the arrows of their ways,

J. Ellsworth Weaver
SCA – Sir Balthazar of Endor
AS – Polyphemus Theognis
TRV – Sebastian Yeats