Dear Dr. Nucleus,

I tried to call Avogadro's number and all I got was a series of clicks and tones. Just who is the guy and if he's so important why can't he get a 1-800 number or an email address? I heard he had a thing for moles?!

Squeaky

Dear Squeaky,

I understand your confusion. Let's take a look at the Scientific Facts.

Avogadro was not a person at all. The term "Avogadro" comes from the Italian: "avo" -- from avian or bird; and "gadro!" -- an exclamation, meaning roughly the same as "merde" in French or "gadzooks" in English. Thus, Avogadro means "bird feces", a Scientific bit of whimsy.

Avogadro was used extensively by the Italians during World War II as a substitute for munitions. As the Allies stormed the Italian beaches, they found them covered with Avogadro. This made landing difficult and messy. Cases of soldiers slipping and sustaining fractures have been reported as late as Operation Desert Storm where Italian military advisors had been in the employ of the Iraqis.

The connection with moles is fairly obvious. Winters in Italy can be quite severe. The ground freezes and moles seek shelter wherever it is the warmest. Avogadro stays warm much longer than the ground because of birds' higher metabolism and body temperature. Need I say more?

Avogadro's number, Squeaky? It is just as it was taught to you in kindergarten: number 2. I hope this clears a little of the Avogadro out of your life.

Never one to Avogadro a seeker of Scientific Truth,
Dr. Nucleus