Dear Doctor Nucleus,


The male bovine is called a bull. The male elephant is called a bull elephant. The male walrus is called a bull walrus. And if a male frog is called a bullfrog, (ok, here is the question.) WHAT IS A FEMALE FROG CALLED?

Your readers want to know.


Dear Readers,

This seemingly cruel and unfeeling question hides behind the mask of ignorance the tragedy of the amphibian world.

FROGs (an acronym for French Research Organic Genotype) have no females. Life for a FROG begins in a test tube in a small laboratory outside of Dijon. Basking in the warm glow of infrared heating lamps, these synthetic creatures do not need the warmth of a mother's caress. Bullfrogs reach maturity without once being tucked into bed (much akin to the research Scientists who experiment upon them. ) FROGs are flown to their primary places of employment (high school biology laboratories and French kitchens) soon after.

The French, ever proud of their Scientific achievements, have even taken upon themselves the friendly nickname of "FROGs". This, of course, provides only small comfort to this all-male species.

What is a female FROG called? Only a dream.

Sad to inform you,
Dr. Nucleus