Dear Dr. Nucleus,

What is the difference between X-rays and Gamma Rays? Some folks say it is energy and others say it is frequency and still others maintain that it is in their origin. I know that the doctors say that X-rays are good for you. The television has had lots of bad things on about Gamma Rays. Are they really that different? Can you help?

Sincerely,
Inquiring Mind


Dear Inquiring Mind,

Your question is germane as well as German. The so-called "X-rays" were invented in the late 1950s by the great German-American Scientist, Dr. Harold von Braunhut, who advertised them in the back of a Scientific journal as originating from his "x-ray specs". They were dubbed "x-rays" (more properly, x-rated rays) because they were used mostly by adolescent boys to look beneath the clothing of unsuspecting secretaries. Dr. von Braunhut though little recognized by the Nobel Prize Committee (much like another Dr. we all know and love) also gave the world Sea-Monkeys. You may still find his glasses advertised in Scientific publications available at newsstands everywhere. Use them for only good and they shall reward you many times over.

"Gamma rays", on the other hand, arise from the Japanese flying turtle monster, Gammara. These lethal beams have been known to melt steel barrels of toy tanks and to cause missiles to go off prematurely; thus, the confusion with "x-rays", as almost any Scientifically-minded male adolescent can attest. Gammara, although a friend to children, is a fiend to Tokyo and adolescent males.

The frequency has NOTHING to do with it. It is the QUALITY of the experience and experiments that makes a Scientist, if not respected, lusted after by secretaries and lab assistants. So keep ORIGINATING these questions and I will try to enlighten you with my fascinating answers.

For a more Scientific world, I remain,
Dr. Nucleus