Dear Dr. Nucleus:

Can you please tell me why, the more efficient and productive a person is, that there are never enough hours in the day for that person? And for people who accomplish nothing at all, they barely have enough time to not accomplish it in? And does time really fly like an arrow, or does fruit fly like a banana?

A Timely Producer


Dear Producer,

I truly understand your confusion. Time does not fly like an arrow; time flies like Eros. Have you ever noticed that just as a relationship (which we Scientists are too busy to get involved with) turns erotic, the bottom falls out of it? Yes, Eros flies. Sometimes Eros can get caught in flies but that is an even more painful experience.

As far as productivity, who are the Masses to gauge whether or not a Scientist is being productive? Sure, making hydrogen bark or setting up a Wheatstone Bridge can be seen as constructive, but what about the time a Scientist must spend in deep thought (indistinguishable by the layman from sleep)?

So stop all that worrying about time. As Albert Einstein asked Marie Curie, "Does anybody know what time it is? Does anybody care?" As far as those bananas when used in Eros, make certain that they are properly disposed of as the hazardous waste that they are. No one wants any lab assistant to have a Freudian slip.

Like the steam thru the blades of the turbine,
So are the days of our lives.

Dr. Nucleus