The Grieving Process Continues ...

"After the death of a child, there are lessons to be learned.  This list details a few of the lessons I've learned.  They are not listed in any particular order and I consider them all important to me."  ...  Loria's Mom

• To enjoy the simple beauty of a sunflower, Loria's favorite flower.

• Grief is not time-bound and the pain will never go away.  You do not recover, you simply learn to manage.

• Everyone grieves differently.  There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

• The grief and pain of my loss has become a part of me that no one can take away.

• Ignore the foolish comments made by those people that will never understand the hellish nightmare labeled "depression".  Loria suffered daily with the torment of this deadly illness.  She did not wake up that fateful day suddenly feeling sad and commit "impulsive suicide".

• The importance of support from family and friends.  When you lose a child, you may also lose family members or friends at the same time.  Strangers or new friends on the internet sometimes offer more comfort than relatives.

• To lose a child is the ultimate tragedy.

• That I need others who have been there to help me now.  Anyone else that has lost a child can understand my pain.

• Love NEVER dies.

• The true meaning of "trivial".

• Every moment really does matter.

• Things will never be "normal" again.

• That my daughter loved life but disliked the pain caused by her illness.

• The tears may come at any moment.  There is no clock or calendar to cry by.

• The importance of keeping my daughter's name and memory alive.  As long as I am alive, I will remind everyone that Loria lived.

• It doesn't matter how my daughter died, only that she did.

• No one should expect you to "get on with your life" after the death of a child.  When someone foolishly says "you gotta' get past this", go ahead and be honest.  It does make you feel better to remind them that your child lived and died, and you will never "get past this".

• When friends offer comfort by saying, "you seem like you're feeling better", count to five before responding.  It may help you to control your anger at their ignorance.

• If you allow your true feelings to show, most people feel uncomfortable.

• Tomorrow may never come.  Live every day like it may be your last.  Loria did it better than anyone I have ever known.

• Someday I will be with my daughter again.