Safety Planning

Are you thinking of leaving? Not sure what to do or where to go?
Take these steps to make sure that you are safe:

1. Create a Safety Plan

If You are Still in the Relationship: 
· Think of a safe place to go if an argument occurs - avoid rooms with easily blocked exits (like bathrooms), or rooms with “weapons” (like like kitchen utensils, or tools).
· Think about and make a list of safe people to contact.
· Keep change with you at all times.
· Memorize all important numbers.
· Establish a “code word” or “sign” so that family, friends and co-workers know when to call for help.
· Think about what you will say to your partner if he/she becomes violent.

 If You Have Left the Relationship:
· Change your phone number.
· Screen calls.
· Save and document all contacts, messages, injuries or other incidents involving the batterer.
· Change all locks that the batterer may have keys to.
· Avoid staying alone.
· Plan how to get away if you are confronted by an abusive partner
· If you have to meet your partner, do it in a public place.
· Vary your routine.
· Notify school and work contacts of your situation.
· Call a shelter for battered women.

2. Consolidate Important Papers into One Area

If you leave the relationship or are thinking of leaving, you should take important papers and documents with you to enable you to apply for benefits or take legal action.

Important papers you should take include social security cards and birth certificates for you and your children, your marriage license, leases or deeds in your name or both yours and your partner’s names, your checkbook, your charge cards, bank statements, and charge account statements, insurance policies, proof of income for you and your partner (pay stubs or W-2’s), and any documentation of past incidents of abuse (photos, police reports, medical records, etc.)

3. Know Where to Go For Help

It is important to know where you will go when you decide to leave.  Contact a Domestic Violence Shelter and let them know your situation.  Advocates can help you decide what option is best for you.  You may decide to stay with family, friends, or at a Safe House such as Bolton Refuge House.  Our advocates can help you find resources so you can stay safe.

4. Prepare for Emergencies

Hide a spare set of car keys that you can access safely.  Pack a suitcase or a box with a couple changes of clothes and leave it with a friend or hide it where your abuser will not look.  If you can, set aside a hidden emergency fund, even if only one or two dollars a week.