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Defining Love

Chas Andres

I was asked on the ride home from school today to define what I think love really is.

This is hard for me to do, because I don't believe there are any adjectives that can *really* do justice in describing it.

Of course, we have to make sure we know what kind of love we are talking about, as there are a few kinds. (Why couldn't we learn a lesson from the Greeks and use four different words?)

Hmmm...I have some free time. I might as well cover them all

The first kind is brotherly love/parental love. I don't think this takes much defining on my part. I love my parents and my sister, at least in this use of the word love. I feel a connection to my family, one that I could never reproduce with anyone else, but I don't feel attracted to any of them. This kind of love is important, because it provides love for you as a young child, as well as through life as long as you have family left. Hence why it is important to keep in touch with siblings if your parents die ­ they are the only ones who can give you this kind of love. Also, I believe, in this category the love for one's child would fall, but I cannot accurately describe this, nor even make a logical guess on the bond between parent and child from the other end.

The next kind of love is the love of one's god, or one's creator. Again, I am at a real loss here as I feel no love toward a god, but I do believe that the love described as so important in The Celestine Prophecy comes into play here. Even without belief in an omnipotent being, most people have a love for nature, a love for the earth, and a love for the gift of life, no matter what or who you think made the universe. I feel this kind of love sometimes, at special places, at special times, when I am thinking about what a wonderful world we live in despite it all. I don't think this love is anything like any of the other four, as it's not really an attraction either, it's more a feeling of belonging, a feeling of awe and amazement.

Anyway, I could probably write a whole paper on that, but that's not what I'm really trying to do here.

So onto the third kind of love, the love for one's friends

I think that sometimes this can be mistook for the fourth (romantic) kind of love, explaining why a lot of times someone will think they are 'in love' with someone, when they really aren't. (Of course, crushes and intense sexual attraction also do this), but most of the time, this kind of love manifests itself as something different completely. Everyone has a few friends who help them get through life, provide companionship, are fun to be with; people you have a connection to. You love them. Not in the same way you love your family, and it's not romantic, but it's love just the same. It is a connection that you have with them, not usually an attraction, but a definite connection. Sometimes this could lead to romantic love, but the two are decidedly different. In this sense of the word, I love many of my male friends, but I am not attracted to them; it could never lead to or be mistaken for romance; yet I love them.

And now we move on to the fourth, and most often-used meaning of the word love ­ Romantic love.

This is where I was asked to think about what love really is. Because a lot of the time I am judgmental about love. This is true, I am, and only because it really upsets me when I see people are living without love in their lives. Or, without what I consider love, anyway, as I am sure it is different for everybody. It's a fascinating emotion, really. Is there another that is as open to interpretation? Is there another emotion you can be fooled into believing you are experiencing? You surely can't believe you are angry without actually being angry. When someone tells you they are angry, you know right away how they are feelingwhen someone tells you they are in loveit's not so clear. Is there another emotion so experiential? It's hard to understand love from a book or story. It's one reason why some children are so turned off by romances. How can they possibly relate? They can relate much better to laughter, or hate, or any other emotion. What other emotion is so elusive? You can find laughter in your favorite jokes, pride in something you create, sadness in the loss of a loved one, and hate is never far away. Love needs another person, another special person, and even still, may only come a few times in your life, if at all

But I am skirting around the question, aren't I?

I was asked what love means to me, what I think love is, not why love is so special

So I'll tell you

Love is when you care for someone so deeply that when you talk to them, all seems right in the world. Anything bad in your mind is pushed out, and you are filled with warmth and peace.

Love is when you feel emptiness when she isn't there; when you would give anything in the world to be with her.

Love is when you cry tears of joy just because you are so happy that you know her

Love is when it is hard to make it a day without telling her you love her, or hearing her tell you she loves you, not because you doubt it, but because it is so wonderful

Love is when she never leaves your mind

Love is when you wish you could just hold her, and never let go. Not in a sexual way really, but just to be close to her.

Love is when you wish that every morning when you wake up, she would be there lying next to you.

But what do I know?

I'm only a naïve teenager

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