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To Feel

By Kati Frazier

I want to feel

something

anything

that is different

from my current

pain and despair

that plagues me daily

and the face that

haunts my eyelid

and wrenches my soul

into knot

after knot.

It seems

my only escape

is not to

stop pain

for I cannot

will not

stop the inevitable

so instead of the anguish

caused by the outside

I pain myself

I burn my arms

and let the fire

tickle my veins

and boil my blood,

but at least

this time

I

know

why.

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