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The Battle Hymn of The Rebellion (unfinished)
Chas Andres
Go on, Traverse the PC lab,
look in Ms. Savatore's room
Rows and rows of Wintel machines
A gruesome reminder of doom.
Looking for something different, my friend?
I'm afraid you won't find it at Fenn.
For how many Macs remain at this school?
At last count, I think there were ten.
Now, just who is this guy we have?
He doesn't seem to think.
It seems that the smarts we're dealing with
Are the kind that are out for a drink.
He lives in a lair with a top-secret lock
The combination, to us, is unknown
If we go up to this door, just even to knock,
His paranoia is shockingly shown.
"Windows, NT, Its the wave of the future!"
Cries this man with the wormy mustache.
Living this way, he's a technical moocher
(His ideas need way too much cash)
But how many bucks can he spend on a Mac?
Maybe one, maybe two, maybe twenty?
Always poised and ready for attack,
He gives us his budget, IT'S EMPTY!
"Haha!" he says. It's phaseout time!
For three years, It's been hell.
Eliminate your platform? Why, its no crime,
I'll go o ut and get you a Dell.
Got a Mac at home? No prob at all.
We'll be glad to take care of that pest
Let's catapult it off the roof,
and then take care of the rest.
Late, on one November eve.
Snow still far from sight.
2 rugged individuals
speak out against their plight.
Excuse me, can you spare a sec?
Fight an unjust cause?
Please, help us on our endless trek.
Will anyone even pause?
O'er 200 people signed the doc,
finally, they had a good case
Now. they have to help spread the talk
And start the OS race.
The outcry grows to seventy percent
A third of the faculty, too
But old Mr. X. will never repent
To Windows, he still remains true.
"To Arms!" He cried "We shall not perish!
Rise up for your dominant kind!
This phaseout thing is too fun to relish
And soon, the world will be mine!"
"Gather your deadly viruses, my pets!
Scavenge for all of your bugs!
March in unison, one single way.
Or I'll pull out all of your plugs!
Heil admin! They cried as they marched by his stand
He saluted them all with great pride.
"Now, go forth and get those unfortunate rebels
and bring them here to my side."
As the 'lectronic army so mached 'roun d the school
Our heroes were in with the head
But before an armastice could be reached,
The PC's grabbed them, and fled.
Haha! He cried! I have you now!
My plan will always stay true!
I'll brainwash that man with my pitiful cause,
And then I will come back for you.
And for the first time ,our heroes could see
Here we were barking, all up the wrong tree.
Ol' Dr. X ain't the root of the cause
Why, he's just the front, the toes of the paws.
"Someon e must've hired him,"
He didn't come for free
But, who, who hates Macs that much
A lousy, bad trustee?
"Why, Yes!" X said with a laugh in his voice
And I'll bet it was more than a spontanious choice
And Just who it is I'm not liable to say,
So go on, have a happy holiday.
You're letting us go? We can leave as of now?
Yep! Said ol' X with a flick and a bow.
I've brainwashed the head, me cause is complete
You lost, and now I can never be beat!
But lo! Come christmas what should appear?
Not a mineature sleigh, no tiny reindeer,
A brand new OS, full of cool bells and whistles,
Enough to make X cough, and choke on his thistles.
Crapola! yelled our admin friend.
Rats and phooey and boo!
If this turns into a continuing trend
I'll have to move to Peru!
Poking 'round the lair one day,
A box stood on the table
With "Mac Open" written on its side,
To breathe, we were unable
Doomed! we cried! Doomed, I tells ya!
This stops or case in its tracks
But thanks to an informant named steve
We got it off our backs
"Not compatible! " He says
Jus' like I told ol' X
It came to me while eating a Pez
And I tol' everyone from here to New Mex
But on th e17th of the very first year
Another meeting occurred
And though our heroes shed many a tear
No Macs would be procured.
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