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The Poem on My Wall

Chas Andres

I have a poem on my wall.

It was written by someone who I care very deeply for, and every time I read it, it reminds me of the importance of my life. No matter what happened in algebra class, no matter if I lost a match or two, no matter if it's raining outside or if I was just insulted or if I fell down the stairs. That poem will be there, and I can read it, and I can feel like my life is important again.

I am sure that if I showed it to my English teacher, she'd find some sort of fault in it. (That's the way she is; she wouldn't even be content with Shakespeare). She'd say it was too much like prose, or the ending wasn't articulated well enough.

But that doesn't bother me.

I know one day, one of my parents is going to come into my room, and ask me about it.

"What's that poem? Who's it by?" They will say.

"A person" I'll reply, or something as equally abstract.

"I bet you have a girlfriend. I bet she wrote it to you."

"No."

"Are you sure? It IS by a girl"

"I know. I can see that."

"Well, it's not very good."

Or something like that.

But that doesn't bother me.

It doesn't really matter what my parents think, anyway. It's my life, right? Sometimes I truly understand that that, sometimes I just can't grasp it. Sometimes my life seems decidedly out of my control. That's when I reread the poem.

And somehow, things seem a little bit more reassuring.

I've always needed reassurance. I don't know why, but when someone tells me something that is truly amazing, or life-changing, or awesome in the truest sense of the word, I need to hear it a few times, to make sure it wasn't a dream, to make sure no one changed their mind.

Still, I am barely ever sure of things. I'm not a decisive person, even though I pretend to be. Yeah, if someone threw me in a situation where I am in control of a warship or a nation or a student body, I could probably be a fairly good leader. Just don't let me control the simple things, the relationships, the decisions in life that are driven by your heart, not logic. There are very few things I am sure of.

Yet there are a few things that I am sure of from the beginning. Things where there is no doubt in my mind as to what I should do.

When I read that poem, I am reminded of that feeling.

That feeling of satisfaction, of knowing exactly how I feel, and that it is right.

The feeling of love.

I only hope I can make someone else feel the same way.

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