Links - Political Rants - Philosophy - Music - Quotes - Movies - Random - Worst of the Web - Guest Writings - Ratings

Don't do ANYTHING in life without ASKING ME FIRST!

(Or at least reading my rating of it) 

You shouldn't do anything without reading a rating of it. I mean, how many of you read reviews of movies before you go? How many of you never saw 'Vanilla Sky' because some crusty old guy at the Boston Globe said it sucked? Well, fear not, now you can take my word for things that you do all the time! You never have to worry about things sucking again! 

Today's Review: School

Perhaps it is because I go back to school tomorrow after a much needed two weeks 'off' ('off' as in I am forced to do school work at home as opposed to in classrooms), but school is weighing heavy on my mind. 

School is one of those things I've never really understood. At 23, most Americans are just finishing school. Many more are going back in for another four or more years if they want to have one of those high profile jobs where people call you 'doctor' and you can steal staplers from the office supply closet without getting yelled at. The interesting thing is that two hundred years ago, many people were getting ready to die at 23, or were at least thinking about whether or not to have that seventh child with Anna from the next farm yonder. Two hundred years, and we've come from 23 being an age of wisdom to 23 being the age you are finally getting out of the ol' brainwashing machine ready for a 9 to 5 grind. 

What most people don't seem to realize, and haven't been able to learn in all of that school, is that school is basically a crock. Now, you would think I would be all in favor of school, what with all the stupid people in the world and how I detest most of them. However, I have come to the following conclusion: School can't make you smart, and it really can't even make you less stupid. If you're stupid, you're going to be stupid no matter what. If you aren't, you'll find a way to learn what you need to anyway. School just gives you a place to learn some of it. Don't get me wrong, I love parts of school, and I even love a few of my classes and teachers. I go to a great school, no question about that. However, it's the idea of school that bothers me. We are brought into this world, and then we are measured based on whether we can parrot back some foreign language, memorize grammar rules, and do differential equations. We are force fed a lot of numbers, too. 

Numbers having to do with school: 

12 - Number of years we are required to attend school.   

16 - Number of years we are required to go to school if we want a decent job.

20 - Number of years we are required to go to school if we want those free staplers. 

22 - Number of years we are required to go to school if we want those free staplers and your mom got sick of you at an early age and sent you to 'pre-school'

37 - Number of people in your public high school biology class

137 - Number of people in your college advanced biology class

2 - Number of people in those courses who will use biology again after college, aside from interesting cocktail party banter and helping their own child with their biology homework. 

89 - The score on your midyear biology test that you spent 12 straight hours studying for

45 - The quarterback's score on that same test

1420 - Your SAT score

950 - the quarterback's SAT score

1 - number of the two above people who got into that 'school of choice. Guess which one.

Seriously, ask your parents what they majored in. I asked mine today. My mom majored in 'speech and theatre'. She sells stuff full-time on E-bay now, after being in sales for most of her life. My dad majored in 'journalism'. He's a manager at a computer company now. 

Did they learn ANY of those skills at school? Probably not. At least, not during classes. You learn a lot of stuff at school, of course, about life and living, just not during the times when you're supposed to be learning. I mean, who has used calculus since college? If you have, and calculus saved your butt from space aliens from the planet Calculon-3 or something, then please E-mail me and let me know. I'm curious. 

But since the aliens aren't here yet, I give school an F+.

The '+' is because school did come up with the grading system, and I couldn't write reviews without it. 

Old Reviews:

1/06/01 - The Modern Cinema Going Experience

11/27/02 - American Society

Take a jump back to 'Dark Side'