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The Worst of the Web - All of the sites that you really don't want to see unless you're gonna just laugh at 'em.
Basically, the deal here is you can go to these sites I've found that are just simply crap, and laugh at how much better my site is than them. This is based off of a great idea formulated back at the beginning of the internet that has since become defunct. I didn't invent it. Also, you can have almost the same amount of fun by, say, typing 'family' into the GeoCites search engine. Try it sometime!
Oh yeah, and first a disclaimer. This is not intended to cause harm or belittle the owners of the sites below. If your site is here and you don't want it to be, let me know and I'll remove it.
Sites Removed (as of 6/6/02): 2
Death Threats (as of 6/6/02): 1
Pirate Palace - I don't know if this is one of the worst sites on the web or one of the best. I mean, I think it's intended to be funny, but then you get this creepy feeling that there is some twisted middle aged man who takes pirates SERIOUSLY. Here is an excerpt from part of the site, the Pirate book of Everything
1. Pirates have to be mean
2. Pirates are rich
3. Pirates can steal anything, like gold or a house
4. There are always more pirate toys than ninja toys
5. Pirates can run faster than trains
6. Pirates mostly rob, set things on fire with torches, and eat people
7. Pirates tell bodacious jokes and drink beer.
8. Pirates have their own really hard language called Arghlish (I have been speaking Arghlish for ten years)
So you see, if someone really took the time to be fluent in Arghlish for ten whole years, they have to be a middle aged pirate nut. Proceed at your own risk.
Content A+ or F- depending on your point of view, Design C
Jib's World - The design of this site isn't that terrible, really. It's some of the content. Example: A poem to honor the Sept. 11th Victims goes something like this:
Tradgey
Y did this happen,
no one can say,
all we can do,
is pray, pray, pray!
I think that alone makes this site worthy of 'Worst of
the Web'. The cheezy Muzak is an added bonus.
Content: C-, Design: B
Katrina's Romance Novels - Katrina herself emailed me, and told me that she took some of my advice! I believe I said "the first thing you see when you get to this site is about a hundred creepy angels staring straight at you." Well, she took the angels down! You see? Making fun of people = progress. However, since she neglected to link me, her site still lies on this page, but with an upgraded score.
Old Grade: Content C-, Design C-
New Grade: Content C, Design B
My Goliath - The subject matter of this one alone makes it hysterical. It's about some guy's pet Chihuahua named Goliath. Apparently he's half-cat or something too. An excerpt from this site reads:
I have 2 sisters. They are kitty cats. Nala is my favorite. She lets me chase her & she watches me play. Sable is my other sister, she is black & a big scaredy cat. She is always running away or hiding from me. I think she is slowly getting use to me.
Yup. That's about all we can say about this site. It's a must see.
Content: D, Design: C
The Giant Purple Lollypop - What can I say? That's what this site is. Go there and see. At first I thought it must be something from Japan that just kinda looked like a giant purple lollypop. Who in their right minds would make a site dedicated to one? Then I followed the next link, and indeed the creator admits to the world that the abomination in question is, in fact, a giant purple lollypop. Weird.
Content D, Design C (they knew how to use menus)
Olsen 2 Olsen - I won't even go into the subject matter on this one. When you get to the site, you get a wonderful pink background with little butterflies and flowers blowing about it, a title, and a broken picture. If you manage to find the hidden link to the site part, you end up with information that only a stalker or a reader of Mary Kate and Ashley Magazine could know. I don't know which is worse.
Content D, Design D-
Patricia's Duct Tape Stuff - I seriously can't make this stuff up. An excerpt from the site is as follows: I Made a pair of shorts, they didn't turn out the greatest, if i get a pair that works well i'll put it up. This just restores my faith in human nature. Seriously, when things that don't try are funnier than most things that do, I can't complain about life. Of course, some of you are going to go here and love it so much and buy lots of duct tape things. But that's what makes people great. That some like to buy duck tape sun visors, and some don't.
Content D, Design B+
Matthew's Galaxy - The concept of this site is that it's run by a four year old. Maybe it is. All it does it hang on me, but I bet if you ever get in it's worth a look. Four year olds rock.
Content D, Design D
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