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First Times The simplest way to fit in at a club is to behave politely. However if you are unfamiliar with a club environment some simple guidelines may help.
Clubs are relaxed fun places to be - the regulars are friendly and generally very welcoming of newcomers. They are not all going to pounce on you and do terrible things (unless you ask them nicely!) If it is your first club outing, the unfamiliarity of the situation will soon wear off and you will rapidly feel at ease. Do talk to people (unless they are in the middle of a scene - see 6 below) Relax, introduce yourself and get to know people. Clubs are not free-for-alls where anyone plays with anyone else - scenes are carefully negotiated and the best way of allowing that to happen is to chat to people and get to know them.
Alcohol is served at most clubs - however be cautious not to overdo it as no one will want to play with anyone who is not fully in control of themselves - it is potentially very dangerous for either Dom/me or sub.
In a club you will encounter people in various states of dress, undress and provocative dress. This is not an invitation to touch them in any way other than you would do so in any other social setting (i.e. a pub). There will be people right in front of you who are doing very sexual things. They are doing them for their pleasure, not for yours.
Generally, touching people without permission will get you physically ejected from the venue.
Do not join in scenes, even if they look like free-for-alls. A scene that might look to you, like lots of people joining in is likely to either be prearranged between the Dom/me and other players or that the Dom/me is subtly signalling audience members they wish to be involved. Only join in if you are clearly and unambiguously invited to do so and a glance in your direction does not constitute an invitation.
Do not touch people's toys, floggers, etc., that are lying around without finding the owner and asking. Even if someone lets you hold a flogger, it is also courteous to ask again before swinging it through the air at an imaginary target or your forearm. Do not run a knife or pinwheel along your skin to try it --- the owner might have gone to pains to sterilize the blade in expectation of an up-coming scene, and sharp edges break skin without always leaving marks or drawing blood.
A club is a very open environment and nobody will take offence at a polite question - regardless of what is being asked. However if you are asking someone to play and they decline - accept the answer with equally good grace and do not ask again. Pestering someone will only put their backs up and in some cases may result in you being asked to leave the club.
Most clubs have dress code requirements - this is for several reasons. Refusing admission to people in "street clothes" discourages casually curious gawpers. It helps build atmosphere so that even if you don't wish to actively play, you are still contributing to the ambience. It also means that only people who are prepared to make a certain minimum effort are going to be there.
The flyer/invitation for a particular club should give some indication as to suitable clothes, however the often used catch all phrase "Strict Fetish Dress Code" is not very helpful to the new clubber. Generally this means that anything rubber, leather or PVC is acceptable, as is provocative, erotic and unusual clothing in more common fabrics. In general it is often easier to define what is not acceptable. i.e. cotton "T" shirt (even black), jeans (even black) are never acceptable - often nudity or near nudity is not considered fetish so a posing pouch and sandals wont get you into many clubs.
Generally if you would feel comfortable walking down the street in it - then it is not likely to be suitable for a club. The cardinal sin is to not make an effort - anyone who makes an effort to be appropriately dressed is unlikely to be turned away, anyone who looks like they cant be bothered is!
Often dress code is seen as a problem by the first time club-goer, however it can become part of the ritual and the act of showering and dressing in something special becomes the first part of the club experience and can set the mood for the evening ahead.
Stay out of the way of a scene - if you get hit by the back stroke it is your fault! You shouldn't have been so close or you should have been looking where you were going. If you are sitting on dungeon equipment chatting and someone wants to use it to play on move, and move with a good grace. The equipment is there for beating arses - not resting arses.
If you want to watch a scene, generally that is fine - people wouldn't be playing in a club if they were totally averse to people seeing them play. However - and this is a very important point - They are not playing for your entertainment, so treat their scene with respect. Do not crowd them, do not stand and "gawp", do not make "helpful" suggestions to the Dom/me and don't make audible comments to other onlookers. A scene is an intimate interaction between the participants, you shouldn't interrupt this any more than you would any other intimate moment between people. If you are asked to move back by one of the participants - do so immediately, without argument or question and with a good grace.
The Keyword is 'respect' - watch by all means, from a respectful distance. If you enjoyed the scene then no one is going to be offended by a respectful compliment after the scene is completely over (and the players have had time to come 'down').
Need I say more...? (And yes - some people do!) (And no - most players do not like it!)
Many people at clubs have perfectly good reasons for not wanting their photographs taken in that environment. Even if your intention is to photograph only yourself or your friends - it is all too easy for others to be inadvertently included in the background of photos, consequently cameras are banned at almost all clubs. The only exception are invited photographers with "photo passes" who contact the club organisers before taking a camera into a club. Unauthorised cameras are likely to be confiscated and film/digital media destroyed.
Many people in a club environment do not use IRC and will simply think you weird if you introduce yourself by a nickname that is entirely appropriate in an IRC channel unless it is a name you normally use... generally first names are used in clubs. Insisting on being called "SirMasterfulDom" or "cute_fluffy_bunny" is going to get you some strange looks....
At the end of the day all the 'rules' just come down to common courtesy (and a little common sense). It is just a case of applying it in an unfamiliar setting, and remembering that just because the person standing next to you at the bar is wearing a "grin and a butt plug" - maybe literally as well as figuratively - you should behave to them with exactly the same courtesy as you would in any other environment.
The club scene is great fun, and full of wonderful people - relax and enjoy it.
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