Well, this is a historic event. This is chapter one, page one of our first mailing list...which is really the story of us. Before I get too long winded, here is a link to our auctions...
http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse
We don't have a lot listed this week because we've been working hard on a Little Red Riding Hood set that will be featured in Violet Magazine.
We'll have more details on that later, but if you check our auctions again on Tuesday, we should have more listed then.
I've attached a couple of pictures to show you where we live...but don't expect a map, because odds are one of you out there is weird (and you know who you are.) Amelia has climbed up onto our roof and has been threatening to jump all week. Having designed her wings myself, I've been shouting nothing but encouragement for this test flight...but she's apparently waiting for the ideal weather conditions.
Next week I'll tell you about how the transmissions went out on both of our vehicles the same week, and how I sent both of them to the junkyard on the same day. I'm hoping that by next week, it will be a funny story.
Until then,
-Dylan
Here's what we've been working on:
http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse
Last week I promised to tell you the about how I had to send both of our vehicles to the junkyard on the same day. It was a trying week. My wife, Jo, had a Mitsubishi Galant that was in the shop of our trusted local mechanic. He did all he could for it, but in the end it was going to need a risky transmission transplant. We were at the top of the waiting list, but there were no accidents in the area from any registered part donors that could supply the necessary transmission. In the end, we decided to pull the plug and look for another vehicle. Living on the Oregon coast, you sometimes have to look a little further for a good used vehicle, unless you're in the market for a camouflaged pick-up truck. I found a Volvo wagon about two hours away. After I bought it, I dropped by Portland Oregon to get my friend (and drummer) to help me get my non-camouflaged truck home from the Volvo dealer's lot where I had left it. After we got to the coast with both vehicles, I still had to drive him home to Portland in my truck. I dropped him off around midnight, and headed back to the coast for a second time. Somewhere on the interstate (in the middle of nowhere) the gears and wheels locked up on my truck, and I went skidding off the interstate onto the shoulder. It was cold and rainy, and I had no jacket or cell phone. I walked for 45 minutes to the closest exit and called home for help. The next day I decided that I never wanted to see my truck again, so I called a tow truck to haul it off, and I had my wife's car hauled off the same day. It was the kind of day that you think would make you break down and cry, but actually it gave me a fresh start that I hadn't planned on. If your favorite jacket gets ruined, aren't you secretly pleased that you get to go buy a new one? Anyway, that was my tale of woe. Maybe next week I'll send you a song my band (Paperhand Lincoln) recently recorded.
Until then,
-Dylan
If you wish to unsubscribe to our mailing list, just email us to let us know. No hard feelings...
Here's what we've been working on...
http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse
...and we should have more listed on Tuesday.
Last week I promised you a song that my band , Paperhand Lincoln, recently recorded. I'll send it in a separate email. It's just over 2MB, so if your computer or internet service will take too long to load it, it will be easy to just delete the entire email. If you're not sure whether or not you have a slow computer, open up your computer and look for any of the following.
1. An abacas
2. A mouse on a wheel
3. A coal burning steam engine
The song is about something I think a lot of us can relate to. Have you ever looked through an old photo album or some old letters and forgotten what it was like to be you way back when? How did you ever put up with that job? What did you see in him/ her? How did I stay that skinny? These are the things I think of when I look back over my shoulder. Next week I'll attempt to blow the dust and cobwebs off my recollections, and tell you how I managed to meet and marry the coolest and most talented person I've ever known.
Until then,
-Dylan
PS
Don't be surprised if the email with the song file arrives a long time after this one. Sometimes emails with attachments float around in Neverland for awhile. And as always, if you'd like to unsubscribe to our mailing list at any time, just email us to let us know.
Here's a small fraction of what we've been up to:
http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse
We really aren't going to have a lot to list the rest of this month. This is Jo's last month at her current job, and she's busy training the new owners. She doesn't have much time to paint at work, which is where a lot of her art usually gets done. BUT... starting next month, she's all yours. That's right, beginning next month, Jo and I will be working on nothing but art for you!
Last week I promised to tell you how the talented Jo James and I met. I asked Jo if she wanted to write this account. She declined, but said, "Be sure and tell them that I knew who you were years before you bothered to learn my name." I hadn't planned on mentioning that, but there it is.
Jo and I met in my senior year of high school, and what would have been her senior year if she hadn't been so skilled at ditching. We couldn't have been more different. I graduated tenth in my class, and she wasn't quite sure where class was. Don't get me wrong, Jo has always been one of the sharpest tools in the shed...she just never cared for the tool shed much.
Even though we were registered at the same school, I didn't bump into Jo until we worked at the same place. I don't know how many of you have ever worked at a dollar theater, but it's just as glamorous as you'd imagine. Jo worked the butter dispenser like none I'd ever seen before. I could rip a ticket and have that stub in your hand before you could say "minimum wage." We were at the top of our game. I must admit, I've never been good at names. I thought Jo's name was Fonda for the first week or so that I worked with her. Sorry, Jo. We were married not much more than a year later. Fifteen years later and we're still together, and finally at a point where we feel like we can make that leap of faith to do what we've always talked about doing...making art for you. I should mention that Jo ended up getting her GED, and a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree with honors. I studied to be a school teacher, but hated it and dropped out of college. But these are stories for another time.
Until then,
-Dylan
I feel very fortunate that I am able to write to you now on my computer. Moments ago, I very nearly hurled it through a wall. Fortunately, the strain of holding it above my head brought me back to my senses. You see, around this time of year our family usually puts together a home video to share with our family and friends. This year my kids are proficient enough on their instruments to actually play a song, which I recorded a week or so ago. My son played the drums and guitar, and my daughter played the bass guitar. Both of them took turns singing verses of the song Beverly Hills (by Weezer.) For most people, a song would have been enough...but not me. Oh no...not me. I decided we should make a rock video for it as well, so I spent today making the kids run around outside in the cold with their guitars. "Don't adjust you TV set, Grandma, they actually are blue." Now I have the formidable task of editing it on my computer. No, I can't just string wobbly shots together like everyone else...I have to do stop action animation and sync up the music to the movements, etc. Anyway, about an hour into editing the video, my program shuts down and I loose all of my work. I have to start over piecing it together. Oh well. What would life be without challenges?
I hope you all have a Merry Christmas, or Hanukah, or whatever! We are still finding it hard to make time for art, but that will all change in January when all time clocks and name tags will be abandoned, and art will become our only source of income. That just may be the diet we've been looking for!
"The Starving Artist Diet has been tested and proven effective in Europe for centuries, and is now available to you during this amazing introductory offer."
See you next week...
-Dylan
http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse
I hope you all are enjoying this Holiday. Here's what we've been up to this week, between wrapping presents...
http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse
We had a fine Christmas, but our Christmas Eve was much more...interesting. I picked the word "interesting" in the same way a tactful person would choose that word to describe food that they're secretly feeding the dog while you're out of the room. "This has such an interesting flavor, Mrs. Blank."
The day began with our toilets not flushing, our tub not draining, and the washing machine spitting water out onto the floor during the draining cycle. I had to rent a big motorized snake to feed down into the abyss of pipes below our house. The guy at the hardware store made me watch a video before he'd rent it to me. Fortunately, it did cure the problems my house was having... and also cured that bad habit I've always had of walking upright.
The day continues...
Jo is a genius with a paint brush, but put a pot or pan in her hand and something's going to get burnt. Jo was making a giant pot of chicken soup for the family gathering that was taking place at our house, and just as the stores in town were closing early for Christmas Eve...she burned the soup. I had never met anyone before that could burn soup, but sure enough, it tasted like an ashtray. I had to dump it off the bridge into the creek and leave the smoldering pot outside. Jo's parents picked up Chinese food on the way over. God bless the Chinese. And God bless you. Merry Christmas!
See you next year,
-Dylan
Jo is finally finished with her day job, so we're starting to get into gear. Here's what we have so far...
http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse
...but there's a lot more to come soon.
We are currently surrounded by water...so there's little else to do but work on art. We live in in floodplain about a mile from the Pacific Ocean. We're used to the creek in our backyard going up and down with the tide, but today high tide has reached our front door. There's a cow field across the street that we have renamed Lake Bovine. The mole hills in our yard are bubbling like clam beds. If the flooding continues, we will be forced to change our business name to Ark Before the Horse, and spend our days sewing two of each kind of animal.
Jo and I are truly excited about all the possibilities for this year. I hope you are too.
-Dylan
It has been a productive week for us. Here's what we've been working on...
http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse
This was Jo's first week at her new job (staying home and making art for you.) We weren't quite sure what to expect, since we've never worked at home together all day, every day. We bought each other some boxing gloves just in case, but we've been getting along so well that we haven't needed them yet. Jo is sort of a bare knuckle gal anyway.
Jo has been enjoying sleeping in, since this art gig allows you to make your own schedule. It was not unusual this week to find her still in bed at 10 AM, and feverishly painting at midnight. Pajamas were her clothing of choice for the week. One of her friends warned her that she better get dressed up for me once in a while, but she's probably waiting for me to take the lead and change out of my shorts, dark socks, and slippers. Don't hold your breath, girlie.
Until next week,
-Dylan
I have decided that our valuables are not safe here. It's not our neighbors or roaming thieves that we have to worry about though. Our things are not safe from me. Earlier this week, I was playing around with my old typewriter when my eye started to twitch and strange music came out of nowhere, signaling that it was time to say goodbye to my beloved typewriter. It had served me faithfully, well into the computer era, but it had made the fatal mistake of having parts that resembled something else. Despite its best efforts to quickly type out protests and apologies, the poor machine has unwillingly donated the eight legs for the spider that scared Miss Muffet away, which you can view here with our other auctions...
Until next week...
-Dylan
http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse
Dylan- "Jo, did you realize that not everyone is getting the pictures that we attach now and then to our newsletters?"
Jo- "I had no idea. I feel bad for the people that didn't get to see them...not that they were all that exciting or anything."
Dylan- "Thanks a lot. But to solve the problem, I think I'm going to start just putting links in the newsletters to open the pictures. That should solve it."
Jo- "But what about the people who missed out on the wonderfully exciting pictures from the past few weeks?"
Dylan- "Well, sarcasm girl, I was thinking of doing a flashback episode this week. You know... like on those cornball shows like The Brady Bunch and Family Ties, when they sit around in the living room and reminisce about past episodes...and you get suckered into watching a bunch of reruns."
Jo- "I'm listening."
Dylan- "You know who else was a good listener? Amelia. Remember the time when she climbed up on the roof and tried to fly with those homemade wings." (wink) "Oh! Here's a picture of that day!"
Dylan-"I think you're right. Our yard is never that clean. Oh! And here's my self portrait that I took in the yard that same day!"
Dylan- "We didn't think the flooding would ever end either, remember?"
Dylan- "Kind of like how I took the typewriter apart for that spider sculpture, then reassembled it using old junk for spare parts."
Dylan- "I'm done."
Jo- "Good. And please don't put words in my mouth again. You're not qualified."
Until next week...
-Dylan & Jo