Week # 41 Hello, friends and family! Here's that ever-present link to our art for ya: http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse ...and there will be more listed on Tuesday. Our kids are finally home from their visit with my parents down in Florida. Just a few days before they returned, Jo began to go into child withdrawal. She got the photo albums out to try and fill the gap, but they seemed to worsen the matter. "For the sake of corn!" she yelled. "These aren't even in chronological order! Where is 2005??? Why are there so many reject pictures of Dylan's old band??? I've got to get these edited, organized, cropped, and prioritized!" Despite the poetry of her words, I knew to keep my fingers clear of her work table. I wouldn't want them to get snipped off and glued down next to a label reading, "Dylan's fingers-August 2006." -Dylan If you would like to be removed from this mailing list, just email me to let me know. Week # 42 Hello there! Is it Sunday already? Here's what we've been up to... http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse Each week when I write the newsletter, I try to look at what's been going on here in our house. This week I can honestly say that all we did was work, so I guess I should tell you about the process that we go through each week. It all begins with the ideas. Jo designs most of the patterns for the dolls, but that's not something that's done every week. Each week it's more a matter of us picking from the patterns she's made and combining them. For example...Santa + Crow = Santa riding a crow. We could have made him ride a potato, but that would have required a new pattern...and I hear that potatoes are out this year. Next is the sewing. I do the sewing and stuffing...even though I'm a guy. Yes, guys can sew and do dishes. Don't be fooled. Last week I realized that I was sewing dolls and watching The Gilmore Girls. I had to go out back and shoot my crossbow just to maintain the balance. Once the dolls are sewn, Jo will paint them until she's half blind and her hand is numb. We both work very hard, but I have to say that this is where the talent really is. If Jo painted a window onto our wall, I'm sure that sunlight would shine through it. Next, Jo accessorizes the dolls with clothes, buttons, beads, etc. She'll ask me, "What does it need" but I'm usually wrong...or too engrossed in The Gilmore Girls to answer. If the doll needs something wooden, then it ends up on my table. Once the piece is complete, I photograph them and make the auction listings. Cutting and pasting bits of html for hours is not my favorite step, but it has to be done. The pieces are then sold, carefully boxed up and shipped to their new homes. Jo and I take about 24 hours off, then start again. It is a honor and a privilege to do what we do for a living, and we appreciate all of you who make it possible. Thanks again, -Dylan If you would like to be removed from this mailing list, just email me to let me know. Week # 43 Hello readers, Here is that link to our auctions that the spell checker hates so much... http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse I've had a few requests from newsletter recipients to make the old newsletters available. I didn't think much of it until I went out to get the mail one morning and found an angry mob outside demanding that I release the newsletters in their entirety. I dangled a participle out the window hoping this would be an adequate sacrifice, but this only angered my readers. So I am writing to you today to declare my unconditional surrender. You can now find all of the past newsletters on our website. You didn't know we had a website, did you? No, you didn't. That's because I was hoping to win an award for the worst website on the web before unveiling it to you. The truth is, I just haven't taken time to work on it...much like our terribly outdated "me" page on eBay. Anyway, there is a link to it below. At the bottom of the home page of the site is a link to the newsletter archive. http://www.thecartbeforethehorse.com/ This week's update: I took my daughter to see a punk band performing in the basement of a local music store. The basement was roughly the size of a piece of toast. I call these punk bands "vowel bands" because in their fake cockney accents they sound like they're recited the vowels. "A...E...I...O...U!!!!" I just stand in the back and yell, "And sometimes Y!!!" -Dylan If you would like to be removed from this mailing list, just email me to let me know. Week # 44 Howdy, Here's what we've been working on this past week... http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse About 728 weeks ago, I was a young father with a near minimum wage job at Waldenbooks. There was a book on the shelf that I used to take behind the counter with me quite a bit. It was called something like "How to Make a Living with Arts and Crafts." It had cartoony drawings of Ziggy-like characters that were trying to start an art business. One of the suggestions the book made that stuck with me was to put pictures of yourself up in your work area. I thought this was kind of weird at the time, but the day came when I found myself with an art business and nailing up an old black and white print of a pre-school Dylan above my worktable. I really like having this picture there while I work. It reminds me to look at things as if I'm seeing them for the first time, and not pretend that I have the whole world figured out. Last night I used this picture, along with an old recording I had made of myself in 1979, to create a message to share with all of you. So here it is...hosted on Google. It's called "Dylan's 1979 Weather Report." -Dylan Week # 45 Hello again, We were hoping to have more of our art listed today, but I'm afraid most of it will have to wait until Tuesday. Here's what we have listed now: http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse I've had so many good experiences with eBay, that I guess I forgot that you have to be careful who you deal with on the internet. A month ago I began a transaction with an online business that ended up being a scam. It didn't take long for me to realize that I had been hoodwinked, swindled, bamboozled, and a host of other silly sounding words that even Dr. Seuss refused to find rhymes for. I have since been writing emails with so much sting in them that I've been waking up in cold sweats reciting them word for word out loud. I didn't want to be writing my next refund request on a paper towel, smuggled with great discomfort out of a prison bathroom, so I shied away from statements like, "I know where you live!" However, I did manage to convince them that me and a team of lawyers and IRS agents were propelling down ropes outside their business. Victory at last! I got my money back! Until next time... -Dylan (and his team of lawyers and IRS agents) Week # 46 Hello, animal lovers! Here's what we've listed today... http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse ...and there will be more listed on Tuesday. As you know, we live way out near the Oregon Coast. To be even more specific, we live on the first country road outside our little coastal town...and our house is near the first convenient spot for pulling a vehicle over. This combination of factors makes us an ideal location for citizens to abandon unwanted appliances (like bathtubs and dishwashers) or unwanted mouths to feed (like litters of kittens.) Our son was under the bridge skipping rocks with his friend when he heard a pick-up truck peel out. Moments later he heard the lonely cry of a kitten. He brought the kitten home and...well, that says it all. He brought the kitten HOME. So meet the newest member of our house, Lincoln. Lincoln is so unlike the kitten that was abandoned here a year ago. That cat lived under our house for a week before I could catch him... and when I finally did catch him, he swiveled his little body around and hovered in midair while his claws went to work on my arms. I swear, he hovered. It may have just been an illusion. All of those lightening fast swipes with his claws on my arms may have propelled him up into the air. Whatever the case may be, we used the fact that he could hover as a selling point to find him a loving home. Lincoln is a different story. He crawled up on my shoulder and began purring like a finely tuned motorcycle. Hours later, our son came home with a snake. It was not met with the same invitation to stay. Thank you for joining us here on the Animal Kingdom. This newsletter was made possible by viewers like you. -Dylan Week # 47 Greetings, Here's what we've listed today... http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse ...and there will be more listed on Tuesday. This is the newsletter that I was dreading, but I knew I'd be writing it someday. Our daughter went on her first date last night to a high school dance. Technically, we're not letting her date until she's sixteen, but since she was meeting the boy at the dance, we made an exception. My first impression of the boy was as a shadowy figure riding his bike up and down our street one night just after dark, trying to figure out with his friend which house held our daughter. They didn't see me sitting in the dark of yard sipping a two gallon glass of iced tea, and listening to their every word. Lucky for them, they were polite and respectful even in this candid moment. But they certainly didn't know the two adult characters that live in this house, otherwise they wouldn't be sneaking around it. If they had caught me in a candid moment, they might have seen me opening the mail with a switchblade, or splitting firewood in half with a crossbow. And if Jo were to even catch a glimpse of them sneaking around, she'd put the police sketch artist to shame with the drawing she'd hand over to the authorities. Of course, it would have that CartBeforeTheHorse touch... Police: "Calling all cars. Be advised that our suspects are both young white males, last seen wearing button up hoods, stripy stockings, and bloomers trimmed with lace. Proceed under the assumption that the suspects are mentally ill." -Dylan Week # 48 Hello, our extended ebay family! Here’s what we have listed this week.. http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse Well, you never would have guessed it with an intro like that, but this is “k.” That is, Dylan and Jo’s daughter. After reading my father’s newsletters, from week 1 to week 40-something, I decided that it is my life’s ambition to write a newsletter myself. Now that I am, I have no idea what to do for the rest of my life. This past week has possibly been the best week of my life. My mother’s father’s sister’s family came up from California to spread some love. My second cousin Isabel is a year older than me and we automatically clicked the first time we met, over a year ago. I also had met my great-aunt Mary. This time around I also met my great-uncle and my other second cousins; twin twelve-year-old boys. There was a rumor going around that they’re “identical,” but I don’t buy it. The whole week I skipped school and hung out in a pasture with my second cousins, eating blackberries and dangling our feet in a creek. It was the most peaceful time I’ve had in years. The third night that they were here we gathered around an outdoor fireplace and passed around an acoustic guitar, playing folk songs. Sitting out there, with the ashes making fireflies, I realized that my family is possibly the best ever. No offense to yours or anything, but... Hah. I also realized that they are completely worth wasting my life’s ambition on. In other news, I wrote a song! This is the first decent song I’ve managed to write with an acoustic guitar accompaniment, mainly because I’m not brilliant with six strings. Perhaps once I have it recorded we’ll send you a link... ~k*#!% A word from Dad... I noticed that sometimes the link to our auctions will be a dead end and say that we don't have anything listed. I think ebay has several servers and they take a while to update. If you get that message, keep hitting refresh and you should see our items shortly. We currently have 10 listed. K did a great job, don't you think? -Dylan Week # 49 Hello, crime fighters. Here's the fruit of our efforts: http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse Notice, it's all ornaments this week. Jo's out of town this weekend, so we thought it would be best if I didn't have to pose any of the bigger dolls by myself for pictures. I have a way of making them look as though they had their pictures taken to document seizures for medical research. This was a week filled with unfortunate events. My shoulders worked overtime shrugging each one carelessly off, but when my daughter's bass guitar got stolen out of the band room at school, my shoulders surrendered and slumped so completely that I began to walk on my knuckles like a gorilla. I met with the principal, the police, and several pawn shop owners, all of whom were disturbed by my primitive appearance. I made up flyers with pictures of the bass on it. In case the guitar is missing for a long time, I even used a computer generated aging effect to show how it may look like in five years time... a lot more belt buckle scratches on the back, in case you're wondering. Since no one saw the thief, our only suspect is Paul McCartney. Don't let that baby face fool you. This is the man who wrote Helter Skelter after all. -Dylan Week # 50 Hello there, friends! Here's what we've been working on between adventures... http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZcartbeforethehorse Where to start? I hope you're in a comfortable seat. We may be here together for a while. It's two in the morning, but it would be three in the morning if Benjamin Franklin hadn't been such a meddler and come up with this day light savings business. Jo and I just got back from the emergency room. I was doing dishes a couple of hours ago when I noticed that our giant glass container of sea glass was cracked. I picked it up and it shattered, creating quite a few jagged edges for me to cut myself on...which I promptly did. Normally I would just slap a priority mail sticker over my wound and go about my business... but this gash on my thumb seemed rather deep, so we decided to go to the hospital. I couldn't let go of the wound, so I needed Jo's help to get adequately dressed for the trip. "No, not those socks...where's my old man hat?...do you think these pants make me look smarter?" I drove Jo crazy with this type of foolishness. So we got to the hospital where they gave me a tetanus shot and their version of a priority mail sticker. No stitches needed...just a band-aid and a billing address. Last night was a late evening as well. I took our daughter (who has a painting listed this week) to the local historic theater to see a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It was a costumed event, of course, so our daughter went as Alison (the basket case from The Breakfast Club.) You don't get any more obscure than that. I went as myself...a youngish man in an old man hat with smart pants. I was one of the few men in pants at all. Dresses seem to be preferred. I'll know for next time. I've finished my second album now, Scratch. I've put it up for sale on eBay in case anyone is interested. I sing, play guitar and bass, and occasionally cough on this album. My good friend, James Mercurio, is on the drums and laughs quite a bit throughout the proceedings. I'm really excited about the fact that my Mom, Leslie Curry, has started to offer her art on eBay now. She's a potter and lives in Florida, where I grew up. My mom has been teaching pottery and selling her work at art shows for as long as I can remember...but marketing her work on the internet is new chapter. Just like me, she clung to her typewriter well into the computer era. But I'm glad she's decided to join all of us here on the web. Please make her feel welcome, and check out her work on eBay... Click Here For PeacePotsByLeslie Thanks for reading! See you next week... -Dylan