Revenge of the Sithbanjo
Roll In My Sweet Jedi’s Arms
By Bryan Crowson
January 13, 2005
Roll in my sweet Jedi’s arms,
roll in my sweet Jedi’s arms,
went to Tatooine
and the Sarlaac was mean,
roll in my sweet Jedi’s arms.
I ain't gonna work for the Empire,
I ain't gonna work like a droid,
Learn to use the Force like my father
and make Darth Vader annoyed.
(Chorus)
Now where you last Friday night
while I was in the Death Star jail?
Walking Ryloth with a Twi’lek girl,
strokin’ her blue head-tails.
(Chorus)
I know that Jabba don’t like me,
I fell through a hole in the floor!
Almost was lunch for a rancor,
but I flattened his head with a door.
(Chorus)
I know the emp’rer don’t like me,
I blew up his Death Star core.
Had I Jedi training to do over,
I’d listen to Yoda some more!
Roll in my sweet Jedi’s arms,
roll in my sweet Jedi’s arms,
went to Tatooine
and the Sarlaac was mean,
roll in my sweet Jedi’s arms.
(* Please note that this song is an original parody written by me, Bryan Crowson.)
Sithbanjo Episode IV: A New Banjo
For years I have been playing "air banjo" on the steering wheel while listening to Ricky Scaggs and tossing out casual remarks like, "I sure would love to learn to play the banjo someday." It finally caught up with me. My wife bought me a banjo for Christmas, so now I'm struggling to play this mysterious instrument. It's already seriously cutting into my video game playing time, but I'm going to stick with it anyway.
Using books, lessons found on the Internet and a DVD from the music store, I've been winging it and teaching myself. I was surprised to learn that you play the banjo with three fingers, not four. My "air banjo" technique has been wrong all these years.
I've learned three chords: G, C and D7. I also need to learn a D chord, and I will proceed with it as soon as I can get another finger grafted onto my palm, or perhaps an extra joint inserted into my pinkie that would permit this sadistic contortion.
Since I'm endeavoring to play like the master, Earl Scruggs, I've also been teaching myself banjo "rolls." A roll is the sequence with which you pick the strings with your three fingers. So far, I've learned the indecisive "forward-backward roll," which is, ironically, simpler than the inexplicably named "forward roll." Other rolls I've been studying are called the "unlikely-to-happen roll" and the "freakin' impossible roll."
So far I've been plucking around with "Amazing Grace" and can render a recognizable melody, but not with much Scruggsian style. It's still on the level of "Mildly Interesting Grace," not having achieved full-fledged "Amazing" status. I've also learned to play a little banjo ditty with training wheels on it, "Boil Them Cabbage Down." Despite the shocking grammar of the title, the song has a pleasant melody, certainly more pleasant than the revolting stench of cabbage actually boiling.
As reflected in the title of this page, Sithbanjo, I've also been considering how to combine my love of Star Wars with my new quest to learn the ways and mysteries of the banjo. If only John Williams and Earl Scruggs would collaborate, perhaps my path would be clearer. For now, I will begin composing my own Sithbanjo tunes. The first Sithbanjo song, which I call, "Roll In My Sweet Jedi's Arms," is shown above. The next Sithbanjo tune I'm working on is "Foggy Dagobah Breakdown."
I'm also working on this one ...
Roll in my sweet Padme's arms,
Roll in my sweet Padme's arms,
Lay around in Naboo
till the Clone Wars are through,
And roll in my sweet Padme's arms.
© All content, photographs and artwork on this site are copyrighted by D. Bryan Crowson unless otherwise credited.
Let me know what you think. E-mail me at Sithbane@charter.net