Management Quiz

Test your suitability for a position in upper management at LLNL:

(Apology: This quiz was written in 1993, and couldn't possibly have any bearing on LLNL management today.)

1. An official at the Department of Energy tells you that, to better survive an "ill political wind" presently blowing in Washington, DC, you should perform your work wearing a fishbowl on your head. You say:

   (a) "I'd like to help preserve the Lab's good image, but the ill wind will blow much worse next year if we handicap ourselves into uselesness."

   (b) "May I empty the fishbowl first, Sir?"

   (c) "Glub glub agguzug yibboobble widdleshubub!"

2. Cutback time! Who gets the pink slip?

   (a) The fossil snoring behind the lockers.

   (b) The recent hire.

   (c) The recent hire and the contractor.

3. Joe Sailor reports that water is pouring through a gash in the hull, and the engine room will soon be flooded. What do you do?

   (a) Grab the nearest five workers and run fix the leak.

   (b) Grab the nearest five workers and appoint a committee to compose a job posting for a leak fixer.

   (c) Grab the nearest five workers and appoint a committee to investigate Joe Sailor.

4. You must get to a business meeting in Mettibemps, Maine, a week from next Tuesday. What do you do?

   (a) Borrow the most up-to-date copy of the Official Airline Guide you can find. Study the flights from San Francisco, Oakland, and San Jose. Select flights that you think will do the job, and ask Travel for tickets on those flights.

   (b) Ask Travel to get you to Mettibemps by 9 AM on the specified Tuesday. Cancel your plans for the preceding weekend. Pack plenty of reading material, plus phrase books for Spanish and French.

   (c) Instruct a subordinate to get you to Mettibemps by 9 AM on the specified Tuesday. Hint that the subordinate's career is on the line.

5. Why do you come to work?

   (a) To build, to invent, to discover, or to design something.

   (b) To support the process of building, inventing, discovering, or designing.

   (c) To hold an Important Position.

6. Your project has ground to a halt waiting for a six-foot extension cord. Stores is all out of six-foot extension cords. (You also thought to ask about two-meter extension cords [they actually tripped me on that distinction once], but they're out of those, too.) What do you do?

   (a) Go to Orchard Supply Hardware and buy one, figuring you might even get reimbursed.

   (b) Enjoy the delay. The garage has had your car for two weeks "waiting for parts", and now it's your turn to get some rest, too.

   (c) Instruct a subordinate to get you a six-foot extension cord immediately. Hint that the subordinate's career is on the line.

7. The Little Red Hen has sent you a memo saying that she thinks the henhouse night watchman, Mr. Fox, might not be doing a good job. What do you do?

   (a) Take a look yourself into the hen house the next night.

   (b) Deputize Lassie to take a look into the hen house for you.

   (c) Notify Mr. Fox that Ms. Red Hen has a complaint, and ask him to straighten out the problem.

8. Oops! Thirty-five hundred curies of tritium just went into the atmosphere. The resulting article in the Lab newspaper should cover...

   (a) How it happened and why it's not likely to happen again.

   (b) Why 3500 curies of tritium is not as horrible as it sounds.

   (c) .

9. Your most productive subordinate, Pat Supernerd, often works late into the evening, and frequently works on weekends. How do you handle Pat's evalutations and raises?

   (a) You write glowing evaluations, and fight to get Pat a big salary.

   (b) You write glowing evaluations, while observing that evalutations and raises are independent subjects.

   (c) You warn Pat that spectacular productivity may demoralize the team, pointing out that Pat's long hours take unfair advantage of coworkers who have ride groups, families, or social lives. Give Pat one more chance.

Scoring:

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