One day in April 2010 I went to a local hospital to spend a half-hour with a friend. As I approached his room, I heard a voice and thought he had other visitors. It turned out that he was asleep and the television was on. I decided to sit for the half-hour and wait to see if he would awaken while I was there.
The TV channel was something I wouldn't ordinarily watch - an "inspirational" one which had two women talking about some books one of them had written and was promoting. Their discussion touched on a number of beliefs they had which, to put it mildly, did not agree with mine. Then one of them spoke of something which I believe is an important part of how my maker made me, saying it was caused by a "demon" which she had "cast out" of a person who was (in that way) like me.
When I heard her say this, I was annoyed if not actually angry. But then I remembered why I was there - to support a friend dealing with a serious illness. Leaving in a huff wouldn't have helped him. And the hospital room was his, not mine, and someone must've wanted that station on, so it wasn't my place to turn it off, change the channel or silence it. I could just sit, and be secure in my own beliefs, regardless of what the folks on the TV said. Listening to them talk wouldn't hurt me - and there was always the chance I might learn something or come to see something differently.
After a while a nurse came in to take a reading, and my friend stirred. When he heard my voice he turned, saw me and smiled. I was still there for him because I had learned a lesson in tolerance.
I would invite anyone who might disagree - however strongly - with any of my opinions and beliefs at this website to do what I did at the hospital: listen to them anyway, and see if they might change your understanding of autism. Thank you for doing this.
NEW 09/26/10: NAHEC Conference - Advocacy
Autism Society of North Carolina 2010 Conference closing address
Partners In Learning miniconference talk
Anyone arriving here from the FAAAS website, please read
Buncombe County teacher training talk
Autism Advocates' Banquet talk
Autism Society of Cumberland County (NC) talk
Notes on "Symbolic Interactionism and Autism"
Video clip from "Neurotypical, the movie"
Address at Autism Advocates' Brunch
Opening address at NCAECIC conference
My interview on NC Public Radio's "The Story With Dick Gordon"
An op-ed piece on autism and quality-of-life
Autism Society of North Carolina 2005 Conference closing address
"Cautionary Tale" and "Self-Awareness" presentations from a 1998 conference in Sweden
Activities I've been involved with
NEW 09/26/10: On September 24, 2010 I spoke at the Northwest AHEC Conference "Autism 2010: Crossing Bridges Despite the Challenges" held at Clemmons, North Carolina. In this talk I took the concept of advocacy far beyond its commonly-thought-of boundaries.
05/07/10: On April 24, 2010 I gave the closing address at the Autism Society of North Carolina annual conference. It covers some new ground in how my life is evolving. Which it certainly is - look at the difference between these photos, taken in February 1998 and May 2010. The reason for a good part of the change is mentioned at the end of the ASNC talk. It involves an awareness which was both new and old for me... and it's why I added the "Lesson In Tolerance" piece at the top of this page. Fair warning :-)
05/07/10: On May 1, 2010 I spoke at the Partners In Learning miniconference in Salisbury, North Carolina.This talk is a shortened version of the ASNC talk above.
06/08/09: I have been made aware that a plagiarist has reproduced one of my poems on a blog of his, retitled it "My Words", and is claiming copyright of it. The first thing I did was to file a copyright-violation complaint with the provider; the next thing I did was to write this poem to him. It's the first poem I've written in years.
04/23/09: For Autism Awareness Month (April) of 2009 I gave this talk at several local unit meetings of the Autism Society of North Carolina. It is a condensed version of the Autism Society Leadership Retreat talk below.
12/20/08: I have just learned that this site is being linked to by an organization known as FAAAS, which stands for "Families of Adults Afflicted by Asperger's Syndrome". This linking was done without my knowledge or consent, and does not consitiute an endorsement of FAAAS or its philosophy. Among other things FAAAS says this on its website:
"Feelings of rejection and loneliness play a major role in the lives of the family members of an individual with Asperger’s Syndrome. Their feelings are not validated, acknowledged, or even recognized by the afflicted person."
This sweeping indictment of those of us with AS does nothing to further the development of mutual respect, cooperation, and understanding between autistic and nonautistic people. For the past thirteen years I have been grateful to be a small part of this effort, along with many other folks with AS, parents, professionals and educators. We all recognize the need for mutual understanding and cooperation. My hope is that anyone arriving at this site from the FAAAS site will read a little (or a lot!) of what I have written and presented over the years, and decide for themselves which approach looks the most useful. I suggest starting with the ASNC Leadership Retreat talk.
11/21/08: On November 21, 2008 I spoke at the annual Leadership Retreat of the Autism Society of North Carolina. I merged the September 2008 Buncombe County and April 2008 Hoke County talks, creating the most comprehensive single talk I've given thus far.
09/18/08: On September 18, 2008 I spoke at a teacher training session at the Buncombe County (NC) Board of Education. This talk included elements of several earlier talks, and is one of the longer ones I have given in recent years.
04/19/08: On April 19, 2008 I spoke at a meeting of the Hoke County local unit of the Autism Society of North Carolina in Mebane. Using my own life as an example, this talk offers reassurance and hope that, even when circumstances and events are difficult to walk through, the results make the journey worthwhile. It is intended primarily for parents of newly-diagnosed children. I feel it's the single most useful thing I've written so far.
04/04/08: On April 4, 2008 I gave a talk at the 2008 Autism Advocates' Banquet in Cherokee, North Carolina. This year, my main topic was respecting each others' differing philosophies and priorities while working together on common goals.
09/11/07: On September 10, 2007 I gave a talk at the Autism Society of Cumberland County meeting in Fayetteville, North Carolina. Its title was "Walking the Path Together", and discussed the need to get beyond recrminiations about problems in order to find cooperative solutions. As one exampIe, I talked about the ongoing controversy over the Judge Rotenberg Center and its use of electric shock for behavior control.
06/16/07: I am making available my notes from an undergraduate research project on "Symbolic Interactionism and Autism". This refers to the sociological theory of what makes humans human, how society functions, and the like. (It would seem that, once again, we autistic folks don't exactly "fit the mold".) There are 78 pages of varying length, each addressing one quote or concept from the texts. While I hope they are of use, I wouldn't quite categorize them with these...
04/30/07: An autism documentary titled "Neurotypical, the movie" is currently in production. Video clips from it, including one of me, may be found here. My clip describes my "costume-vs.-disguise" metaphor for social interaction.
04/14/07: On April 13, 2007 I gave an address at the Autism Advocates' Brunch in Cherokee, North Carolina. This event was hosted by the Eastern Band of Cherokee Nation. I spoke of the need for greater understanding between autistic and nonautistic people, and of the value of autistic culture to both groups.
03/22/07: On March 22, 2007 I gave the opening address at the 2007 conference of the North Carolina Association for the Education of Chronically Ill Children. It included some thoughts on the nature of understanding and being understood, socialization, and quality-of-life for those outside the societal - or neurological - mainstream.
09/25/2006: I was interviewed for a North Carolina Public Radio program called "The Story With Dick Gordon". The interview aired at 1PM on Monday, September 25, 2006. The program is available in streaming form here- scroll or page quite a long way down to the title "What's It Like To Be Autistic?" and look for the "Listen Here" link at the very bottom of the article, just above the "Mountain Heart" headline. It is also available as a Podcast - see the Podcasts section of the program's website. I have some additional comments and clarifications regarding the program on this page.
04/28/2006: An op-ed piece concerning autism and quality-of-life appeared in the April 28, 2006 issue of the Asheville, North Carolina (USA) Citizen-Times.
04/09/2005: On April 9, 2005 I gave the closing address at the Autism Society of North Carolina annual conference. In it I addressed the controversy over the "cure" of autism, and suggested a way that groups with differing opinions can work together.
03/98: In March 1998 I gave two presentations at an Asperger Syndrome conference in Västerås, Sweden.
Other writings:
The OASIS Asperger site, which
contains a great deal of Asperger Syndrome information and resources, also has some poetry of mine on
it.
Some of my writings have appeared in at least three published works: A volume in TEACCH's "Current Issues in Autism" series contains an early version of one of the Sweden presentations; Catherine Faherty's children's workbook
Activities:
I was active for several years in social groups and training seminars given by the Asheville, North Carolina TEACCH Center. TEACCH is a division of the University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill - please see
its website for more information. As the first autistic person to serve on the Board of the Autism Society of North Carolina, I was able to bring my perspective and insight to that organization, both by participating in Board meetings and by speaking at local unit gatherings and conferences. I was inaccurately portrayed in the 2002 book American Normal. This page describes what happened. Please keep in mind that each autistic person is an
individual, so my experiences and views may be different from others' and are not meant to
be "the definitive word" on any subject. Still, my writings here may help others further their understanding of what it is like to be autistic, at least for those willing/able to put up with all the metaphors. (That style is evidently a "splinter skill" of mine.)
What I do best is to help groups of people understand autism so that they can better analyze situations and solve problems. I don't do well giving individual, specific advice about specific situations. For permission to reprint my portions of my writings, email me by clicking here and (VERY IMPORTANT) then REMOVE the letters "not" from both places they'll appear in the "To:" box of your email program. This page last updated: September 26, 2010
"Autistic and Undiagnosed: My Cautionary Tale"
concerns my life up to my autism diagnosis (in April 1994), and
"Self-Awareness
in Living With Asperger Syndrome" concerns my post-autism-diagnosis life through early 1998. Later writings give more-current snapshots.
"Asperger's - What Does it Mean to Me?" has various quotes and one subchapter from me; and I contributed to Martha Kate Downey's CD-ROM format children's book "Tap Dancing in the Night".