OK guys, this is what you've been needing when asked "those" questions by the women in your life. We've all been in the situation where the correct answer seems to elude us...if there ever was a correct answer. Print out a copy and carry it with you at all times, it could save your life.

1- I have the right to remain silent in the face of any and all questions women ask me, no matter how innocuous those questions may appear on the surface.

2- I acknowledge that anything I say in response to women's questions can and will be used against me in the public court of female opinion.

3- I have the right to make one phone call to an attorney or any other legal counselor I might choose, who will advise me as to which questions can safely be answered and which ones must be avoided if I am to survive this encounter with my reputation intact.

4- I recognize, as a member of the male sex, I can in no way-at any time, in any place, or in any mental condition-keep up with the mixed signals, chat rate, tangled motivations, complex strategies, or deceptive word choices of the females of the species.

5- Finally, I accept the fact that am I so foolish as to answer questions after reading this Miranda warning and listening to my legal adviser, the odds are that I will say something I will regret. In other words, from this moment on, I proceed in this venture at my own hazard and risk.

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