By Tim Lyke

 

   ONE OF THE MOST

touching, tender memorial services I’ve ever attended was held Saturday for a former co-worker of  mine and a friend to many.

   The gathering to honor the memory of Ripon resident, longtime cancer survivor and former Green Laker food columnist Mary Richardson Warnke taxed Butzin-Marchant Funeral Home’s ample supply of folding chairs. Mary was as popular as he was tenacious.

   This 48-year-old whirlwind kept her cancer at bay for six years before finally succumbing last week at Ripon Medical Center.

   Through her work at the Center House, when her family owned it, and her involvement with Ripon’s League of Women Voters, PTO’s, the Prairie Lakes Universal Unitarian Church and other area groups, Mary touched many lives in a multitude of circles.

   During the service one of Mary’s sisters, Diane Richardson, recounted several dreams she’d  had where Mary was led away by Departed family members.

   Another particularly poignant dream told by Mary’s Daughter, Lauren Pascarella, was of  Mary at the wheel of the family car, with her children in the back seat.

   Mary was stuck at a traffic light, even after it had turned green. While her children urged her to proceed, Mary froze, unwilling or unable to go further.     

   Finally she drove through the light; she was rightly proceeding with her next journey.

   While dreams told of Mary’s departure, they didn’t explain where Mary is now.

   I know where Mary has ended up. She’s in heaven— with Elvis.

ABOUT A YEAR AGO

Mary walked into my office with a life-sized cardboard cutout of the big E beneath her arm.

Just out of the hospital, Mary Warnke, right, attends Maryfest last July with good buddy Sue Ellen Bloch.

   “I think your office needs this guy,” she told me, grinning while standing the 1950s-version of the king of rock ‘n’ roll in front of my desk.

   I was proud to host Elvis because I was flattered Mary would consider me worth of her 6-foot-tall kitschy king.

   Elvis later made a public appearance at Maryfest, an event held last July at Bloch’s Farm to honor Mary.  

   She was then in her fourth and final stage of cancer, or “the dragon” as she had referred to it in a tale she’d written six months after learning she was stricken.

   Good friend Sue Ellen Bloch read Mary’s story at the service. It spoke of the love she had for her kind husband, Dan, and their four vivacious children.

   Mary wrote that while she’d given up some parts of her body to the dastardly dragon, she then poisoned her body hoping the monster would sicken and die.

   Meanwhile, she wrote, her family was busily weaving a net of love, hoping to ensnare the dragon before it could consume their wife, daughter and mother.

   Last Monday the net broke. So now Mary is with Elvis.

   THEY HAD MUCH IN

common, these two.

   Both were taken from us far too soon. Mary was only 48.

   But Mary and Elvis made time to bring joy to many people.

   Ripon College religion Professor Brian Smith, who led Mary’s service, spoke of how, during a visit to a doctor’s office, she learned that the receptionist was in a funk. Mary went next door to a drug store, bought the woman a latte and then gave her a hug. This was a person Mary had never met before.

   Like Elvis, Mary was rock ‘n’ roll personified. She was, at times, flamboyant, irreverent, edgy, talented, political and always, very loving. She seemed to bring out the best in people.

   Mary and Elvis are no longer with us and yet paradoxically very much with us still. Their inspiration endures in the many who’s lives they touched with their charisma and compassion.

   I bet even now, Mary is upstairs teaching Elvis a new dance step.

   And the king is probably giggling.

   Long Live the King…

and his Queen

Mary’s love of cooking led her to write a food column in the Green Laker…

click here for a memorial article which appeared in The Naples Daily News in 2006.

Pictures from Kathy Richardson’s (Mary’s mother) 70th birthday party

 

Click here for Mary’s words of hope after her surgery. Recorded February 2, 2000.

 

Mary and children Jeff and Lauren at the pre-season 1997 Packers vs. Patriots game.

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time.

 
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

   Mary Katherine Richardson Warnke, age 48, of 532 Van Dyke Ave., Ripon, passed away Monday morning, January 26, 2004, at Ripon Medical Center with her family at her side after a courageous and lengthy battle with breast cancer.

 

   Mary was born April 5, 1955, in Miami Beach, FL, the daughter of John (Jack) Richardson and Katherine (Frye) Richardson. Mary attended Appleton West High School and the University of Wisconsin-Madison, and was very career oriented managing businesses out East for many years. On December 15, 1989, she married the love of her life, Daniel Warnke in Ripon. Together they reached a higher place in their beliefs, loved one another and appreciated life. Mary was a devoted wife and mother, and took great pride in her family and the accomplishments of her children. Mary was a member of the Prairie Lakes Universal Unitarian Church, and served as its secretary until 2003. Mary was very active in the management of Center House Restaurant until April 2001, and a contributing food editor for the Green Laker until the summer of 2003. Mary received wonderful companionship, love and support from her "Circle of Friends" giving her the strength and courage to face the personal challenges of cancer with dignity.

 

   Survivors include her husband, Daniel of Ripon; three sons, Jeffrey Pascarella, John Warnke and Evan Warnke; one daughter, Lauren Pascarella; two brothers, Mark (Lisa) Richardson of Greenville and John Richardson (Sharon Reader) of Fremont; and two sisters, Susan (John) Roesch of Ripon and Diane Richardson of Green Bay. She is further survived by her mother, Katherine (Frye) Richardson from Marco Island, FL and Appleton; in-laws, Gordon and Betty Warnke of Ripon; numerous aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews. She was preceded in death by her father, Jack Richardson.

 

   Funeral service for Mary Richardson Warnke will be at 2 p.m. on Saturday, January 31, 2004, at Butzin-Marchant Funeral Home, Ripon with Brian Smith, Ripon College Religion Dept. officiating. Visitation will be Saturday at the funeral home from 11 a.m. until the time of the service. Interment will be in the Green Lake Center Cemetery, Town of Green Lake. A memorial has been established in her name.

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