20th Century Fox Starring: Edward Spleers, Jeremy Irons, John Malkovich
Directed By: Stefen Fangmeier
Rated: PG
20th Century Fox
As we sat in the movie theater watching trailers before Casino Royale, my friend Mark was pondering what the big Christmas blockbuster of 2006 would be. As far as we knew at that point, there wasn't going to be one. Then we saw the trailer for Eragon. Mark thought that we might have a Christmas blockbuster on the horizon after all.
He doesn't think that anymore.
Eragon is the story of a young farm boy of the same name (Spleers). While hunting in the woods, he stumbles upon a dragon's egg. Well...he doesn't know it's a dragon's egg until it hatches, but he thinks it's kind of cool and takes it home anyway. When it does hatch, he starts raising the cute little baby dragon. In the meantime, Eragon learns about the dragon riders that once ruled the skies above the land of Alagaesia until one of their number (Galbatorix, played for all of ten screen minutes by John Malkovich) betrayed them and appointed himself king. Eragon learns that the dragon riders will some day rise again and (surprise, surprise) he finds out that he is to be one of them. The only one at this point.
For those who are fans of the book (which I haven't read), I totally get that the source novel was written by a 16-year-old. I think I would have realized that without anyone telling me so, as a matter of fact. The story is as simple as simple can be. It is at the same time both very predictable and very familiar. Simply put, it's Lord of the Rings meets Star Wars--but without any of the literary credentials of the former or the adrenaline rush of the latter. In other words, it's exactly what you'd expect of a high school kid who is making up a story. It's derivative and not very original, although there are tiny hints of some originality in the mythology behind the story. Not enough to make the story seem new or fresh, mind you, but some.
Of course, since this is simply a book based on said novel, that means that another writer--presumably a professional screenwriter--had a crack at fixing the dialog and freshening up the story. Alas, that is not the case. Without being immodest, I write better dialog than what is found in this movie. I'm also better at film editing. Eragon looks like it was edited with a pair of garden shears. There are continuity errors, jump cuts, tiny useless scenes...a whole host of unforgivable editing faux pas that should never be found in a film that is so obviously trying to be this year's answer to Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings films.
Perhaps the most unfortunate thing about Eragon is that it's very obviously the first of at least two films. It's hard to believe that they will bother making the sequel...but the ending certainly sets us up for one. God help us.
I will say that the special effects weren't bad, and there is actually some decent action in the final battle. Unfortunately, said battle takes place in the last twenty minutes of the film. The only other saving grace of this film is that it's only an hour and forty minutes long. If it had been any longer, I would have left early and missed the only good bit.
I can't stress enough that you MUST stay away from this film. You will kick yourself for spending even rental money on it.
Bottom line: Truly awful.