Queen Of The Damned
Have you ever been watching a movie and actually hit yourself in the face becasue the pain from bashing yourself was far better than actually viewing the cinematic shit? Well that's Queen of the damned. I'm glad I didn't have a sharp object handy or I would have been forced to scrape my eyes out, and the eyes of everyone else who watched this piece of shit. This movie had the look and feel of a music video. It seemed like every time you looked at the screen another band was being showcased. Here's the problem, what "The Crow" did was subtely add music that was pretty cool to the undertone and feel of the movie. This piece of shit fucking opens with a music video. The only cool thing in the movie was that Alleah was hot. Every plot devise was inane, every character was fake, and the acting was worse than on a "Powerangers" episode. I guess the other problem I had was I actually read the book. The movie, apparently tries to combine "The Vampire Lestat" and "The Queen Of The Damned." I have no idea how Anne Ryce actually allowed this. Now as pissed off as I am at her for making every goth with a wounded fucking inner child feel like they had a place in the world, at least her books are mildly entertaining, albeit with a feminazi flair. Any modicrum of entertainment value gleaned from her writings have been utterly destroyed by the makers of this movie. It has some vague elements of the books, and yet manages to be exactly unlike her writing. The movie meanders around absolutely nothing and then comes to a grinding halt just when you don't think your brain can take anymore. In effect it's what happens when MTV and a fuckwad of Producers and Directors get together and try to decide what formula will make kids aged 12-16 spend their allowance on a movie. There are two types of people who saw this movie, people who hated it, and people who can be force fed pop culture as long as the hard edged boy bands of modern rock music say it's ok. The deepest thing about this movie was the layer of sticky sludge on the floor of the theater. No self respecting human could actually have enjoyed this piece of shit. People that liked this movie are the same low self esteem follow the herd fucks that made TRL popular. You liked this movie? I bet you like laying on a hard cement floor chained to a radiator blindfolded while being pissed on too.