A poorly constructed toothbrush
is a joy to no man.
Its frizzy bristles all in disarray
looking like the head of Art Garfunkel on acid.
No resilience to speak of - couldn't dislodge a fiber of muscle tissue if it tried.
Better to remain meat-free, then, man.
Meat wedges
Crammed beneath the logjam that is your molar shelf
Jackhammered by chomping
Piledriven by chewing
Timeless forces of the hound jaw tearing apart a carcass
Caustic fluids squeezed from every sinew
Bacteria with microscopic mining tools
Rotting your teeth the long slow painful way
Rot teeth rot
No haiku
No sonnet
No heavy-metal love ballad can save those pearly whites
So you had better brush your teeth twice tonight
Then scurry off to find this passage some punctuation
Meat can kill an inattentive toothbrush
Meat kills
Meat is murder
Meat is yummy!
So forget the other three observations.
No matter how perceptive,
your mind will never qualify as a phased array.
So have a tenderloin sandwich and a smile!
For Mean Joe Greene is entering a branch post office
- even now, as I speak to you -
he's mailing you a new toothbrush.
One made of molybdenum and kevlar aramid polymers.
One which will NOT wear out.
Back to poetry index…
Note: the author strongly recommends using a Sonicare toothbrush daily.
Sonicare rocks! And for the love of god, don't forget to floss!