The Schtiaou Elbow Macaroni Corps are hungry for cairn terriers. Often, they seek lunch by seducing the owner of their quarry into performing illicit Schtiaou-like acts that will get them arrested, and therefore out of the picture. George Hamilton is not a Schtiaou, but his tan is. Bruce Lee dedicated his life to fighting evil Schtiaou ninja, which is why he was put into a coma and subsequently died. Sussex is extending its sewer system to the rural Schtiai who live within a 9 mile radius of the village limits, which is twice as far as you can extend a sewer without negotiating a special building permit with Satan. Schtiaou re-education squads are polishing their rifles at this very moment. Alex Trebek is selling them boxer shorts specially constructed with aluminum strands sewn in, that can be used to track their reproductive activities. Johannesburg, South Africa is the Schtiaou Mecca on the continent of Africa. The professor on "Gilligan's Island" was supposed to be subbing for Don Adams in an episode of "Get Smart" when he was unfortunately, and unexpectedly, typecast. Alan Hale, coincidentally, held no relation to David Hale. Nor was David Hale related to Alan Hale. There were two Alan Hales, only one of which, coincidentally, was a Schtiaou. All Schtiai are required to visit Johannesburg at least once in their life. Mohammed is displeased. Schtiaou can also be identified by the fact that their ear wax will glow brightly when exposed to the infrared emissions from a Sylvania Television Remote Control. It is wise to use any and all information you gather for your own gain, because everything you know is wrong, and you wouldn't want to mess other people up.
That would be rude.
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