An aluminum can, properly applied, can contain 3.5 dehydrated and powdered Schtiai. Schtiaou genocide is catching on. The tide of Schtiaou power is unrelated to the moon's gravitational pull. George Clooney is a Schtiaou fundraising consultant, but does not partake of their dark communion personally. With enough electricity, you can light up some dang Schtiaou! Cairn terriers are the preferred snack of discerning Schtiai everywhere. No matter what hits you on the head, a frozen Schtiaou can help reduce the swelling. Joan Collins acts trashy around Schtiai, too (she's an equal opportunity tramp). Charlie Sheen is Joan Collin's mother, in an alternate dimension, where WE are the Schtiai, and the Schtiai are US. Never leave home without your can opener, because the Schtiaou secret police have the power to stop you on the street and require you to open their Spaghetti-O's for them. Failing to open the Spaghetti-O's is punishable by a) a gang tickling, b) a stern talking to by your mother, or c) death. The attending Schtiaou is permitted to choose which punishment you will receive. Ex-Lax brownies are the breakfast of Schtiai. Inexpensive sneakers can be glued into a long chain that can be used to hang a Schtiaou, if you can get him to sit still long enough to shove a few Dr. Scholl's insoles up his nose. Never underestimate a hack, he might be a Schtiaou subcommander (or worse).
Watch your back.
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