Sometime this afternoon, you will be visited by a Schtiaou who will accuse you of being incompetent, in a feeble attempt to cover his/her own lack of knowledge. The new aluminum cans on the market have even sharper edges inside the mouth, placed there by Schtiai that want you to cut your upper lip and bleed to death. Almost all bacteria were designed by Schtiai scientists; all except the GOOD bacteria, that is. Schtiai will try to sneak up on you.... so shoot them. On another planet, in a nearby galaxy, the local Schtiai have been completely wiped out by a heroic fellow bearing a strong resemblance to the human known as Jerry Reed. Their entire society is now a utopia whose virtues are known and envied throughout that entire galaxy. Richard Gephardt was a victim of a partial-birth abortion gone awry. Richard Dawson was not. Richard Dawson was a victim of a drive-by dish-soaping perpetrated by that evil wench Madge. Under no circumstances should you pop a Schtiaou with a pin, they make a really big mess. The acne you had during your teenage years was the result of a covert federal social program. It also made five guys in Terra Haute completely sterile, so count yourself lucky. Schtiai working down at the sock factory are responsible for the one-sock-per-week that goes AWOL on you from the washing machine. When your head makes a ringing noise, somewhere a Schtiaou is getting his wings. Dandruff is a Schtiaou delicacy. Molly McButter is a Schtiaou. Polysorbate 80 serves the Schtiai well as a personal lubricant.
Gotta go, my head is ringing.
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