A carefully arranged stack of Schtiaou femurs can function as an
interstellar marker for lost puppies. "Fatally shot while missing in
action" is an excuse frequently cited by young Schtiai who have played hookie from
school. Schtiaou fashion preference: Briefs, worn on the outside. Electric
trams fastened to a Schtiaou with a nylon shoe-lace can be used to batter down the walls
of oppression. Even as we speak, Charleton Heston is plucking the blackened, corrupt
heart of a Schtiaou out, and jumping up and down on it triumphantly, while yelling,
"You blew it up, damn you!!!!" over and over. Ron Brown, deceased
Secretary of Commerce, is snorting a line of cocaine in Hell, with (also-deceased) rocker
Jerry Garcia at this very moment; simultaneously, they are both being inducted into the
Schtiaou Hall-of-Fame. A baseball, unlaced and stripped of its cover, closely
resembles a Schtiaou cerebellum that has been debrided of its durum - except that the
baseball core is considerably larger. A river runs through every Schtiaou's abdomen;
a river of rancid bile! Computer monitors larger than 17" emit enough radiation
to cook a typical Schtiaou overnight, assuming the Schtiaou is rotated periodically.
Whenever your shoes squeak, it almost certainly is some damn Schtiaou's fault!
Aren't you supposed to be at work?
Back to schtiaou index…