Fourth Reflection

Yesterday evening we continued the theme of these reflections, which was advertised in the Brochure, namely, “Others as God’s Gift to Us”, and trying to be God’s gift to others in return. We spoke about a very special category of persons who are indeed a very great gift of God, namely, lawful superiors, of course, unless we realize that lawful superiors offer to us the certainty of doing God’s will for us, and thus the certainty that we are united to God in love, we would not be able to appreciate them as the gift that they are.

This evening I’m going to reflect upon other categories of persons whom we should look upon as gifts from God. We’ve already spoken about that category of persons whom we treasure as dear personal friends. We did that implicitly in the first two reflections upon the concept of gift, and what it is the giver of the gift says to the recipient by the gift. The categories I have in mind for today have something in common with the category of lawful superiors. It is that it takes a realization of what God is offering us through them in order to see, not only with the eyes of Faith, but also with our reason and understanding, why we must consider these others as God’s gifts.

Seeing our daily contacts as gifts

The first of these categories is comprised of the people we rub elbows with each day. These would include, of course, some of our dear friends, but most likely it is comprised mostly of our fellow workers and the people we are with in the ordinary round of daily activities. To see them as gifts of God, we have to know what God is offering us through them. He may be offering us many benefits through them at any given instant, but what I have in mind is the opportunity to cleanse our minds and hearts of all selfish interest, the opportunity to draw ever nearer to that purity of heart, which is rewarded by God with the grace of seeing Him. As the beatitude says: “Blessed are the pure of heart for they shall see God.”

To see how it is God offers us that opportunity through this category of people, we have to introduce the further concept of “druthers”. Surely you all know what is meant by “druthers”. The expression “druther”, is of course, short for “I’d rather”. Therefore every “druther” is a personal preference. Personal preferences are what we would like to see happen first and foremost, or what we would like to do or experience, first and foremost. Therefore, every “druther” is an expression of personal self-will.

Although to say that a druther is an expression of personal self will does not mean that every druther is self-seeking or selfish necessarily, it nevertheless means that this druther, this preference, is really mine, I am it. It is identified with me. It clings to me and to my soul in some way. When I get my druthers, really, I am getting my way; my will is being done. As I say, my way may be good, but it is a far cry from “Thy will be done” which we say in the Our Father, and from “Be it done to me according to Thy will”, which is how Our Blessed Mother responded to God’s request, through Gabriel, that she consent to becoming the Mother of the Saviour. We can also cite the maxim of St. John of the Cross: “What profit is there in giving God one thing (However good in itself), when He is asking you for something else?”

So then, how does this concept of “druthers” help us to see the people that we rub elbows with each day as gifts of God through whom He offers us the opportunity to achieve purity of heart? Well, by now some of you must have already figured out what the answer is. These folks have druthers also. The very fact that they are human like us means that they, too, have personal preferences. So, to achieve purity of heart, to cleanse our heart of all self-will, even in those instances where we prefer good and holy things, all we have to do is to let the druthers of others prevail. All we have to do is to deny our own personal preferences, and choose the personal preferences of those around us.

Of course, we have to include a caveat. We can let only those druthers of others prevail that do not conflict with the duties and obligations of our state in life, with the rules and regulations that are binding upon ourselves and all our fellow workers, and, of course, which are not sinful. If our own druthers are in perfect accord with our vocation and other standards of conduct binding upon us and thus free of sin, then of course these druthers of ours are not really ours, they are God’s druthers, and they are perfectly consistent with purity of heart. In fact, our hearts are utterly pure when only God’s druthers reside therein.

Most of the time, however, the druthers of those we rub elbows with each day are about things that are neutral, that is, cannot be labeled either morally good or morally bad, as for instance, how the furniture is arranged, where we will go for lunch, and things of that nature. So to let the personal preferences of our daily companions prevail is a very powerful way of destroying self will, of destroying the natural desire we all have of getting our own way. It really does produce purity of heart. There is also another extremely valuable by-product of sacrificing our druthers to those of others, and that is a most delightful and profound peace of soul. I believe it is the peace that surpasses understanding that is spoken of in Holy Scripture. Truly, the people we rub elbows with are a gift of God, and we should never cease to be grateful to Him for giving them to us, for the reasons I’ve just stated.

Seeing those who make life difficult as gifts

The next category of persons we should begin to value (if we don’t already) as “gifts from God” is comprised of the people who try us, and who make life difficult for us, those, who, in effect are a pain. To do this requires more Faith, but we can still use reason to understand why they are indeed God’s gift to us. These gifts are a bit harder to accept from God, than the folks we just finished talking about. It requires more generosity on our part.

My authority in this regard is none other than St. John of the Cross. In his First Precaution against the Flesh he states: “…understand that you have come to the monastery so that all may fashion you and try you. Thus to free yourself from the imperfections and disturbances that can be engendered by the mannerisms and attitudes of the religious and draw profit from every occurrence, you should think that all in the community are artisans, as indeed they are – present there in order to prove you; that some will fashion you with words, others by deeds, and others with thoughts against you; and that in all this you must be submissive as is the statue to the craftsman who molds it, the artist who paints it and to the gilder who embellishes it…”

In the Second Counsel to a Religious he says the same thing in slightly different phrasing: “…understand that those who are in the Monastery are craftsmen placed there by God to mortify you by working and chiseling at you. Some will chisel you with words, telling you what you would rather not hear, others by deeds, doing against you what you would rather not endure; others by their temperament, being in their person and in their actions a bother and annoyance to you; and others by their thoughts neither esteeming nor ‘feeling’ love for you…” Although speaking about a religious applies to all Christians who are serious about surrendering to God.

That these are a gift of God can be seen from the fruits God intends to produce in our souls by those very folks who make life difficult for us: Again St. John of the Cross: “If you fail to observe this precaution you will not know how to overcome your sensitiveness and feelings, nor will you get along well in community.., nor attain holy peace, nor free yourself from many stumbling blocks and evils.”

One way of convincing ourselves that this category of other persons, which certainly includes some of those we rub elbows with daily, some of our lawful superiors, and even at times (on rare occasions) one or another of the good friends we treasure, as gifts from God is by thinking of them as people who help us assess the state of our spiritual health, that is, whether, as children of God we are suffering from some spiritual illness or debilitating spiritual affliction. We certainly appreciate and are grateful to those doctors who can diagnose our physical ailments and help us apply the remedy that will restore our physical health. People who try us by their words, deeds and mannerisms, and by those thoughts about us that show up in their faces or in body language and other nonverbal ways of communicating are really helping us discover what those sinful and defective tendencies and attitudes are that diminish and may even threaten to extinguish the life of God, Charity, in our souls. Though these folks do not also suggest the remedy to be used, they do give us the matter to lay before our confessor or spiritual advisor, who then helps us find the proper remedy before it is too late. We only have to consider how grateful a young mother is, for example, whose doctor discovers a cancer in the early stages, which then is treated and destroyed so that that mother can raise her children to adulthood and see them safely on their own. If we can train ourselves to value this category of folks who try us in the same way that that young mother values that doctor, we, too, would be grateful and wherever there is gratitude, there is awareness of a gift received. The giver of course, being God.

Seeing needy people as gifts

There is one final category of person I would like to mention briefly, and that is the category comprised of needy people. As you know, needy people are those to whom the only appropriate response is “charity”. Every encounter with a needy person is then, an opportunity to practice the theological virtue of charity. We don’t usually think of them as gifts, unless we are aware that every opportunity to perform an act of divine life, because the life of God is charity. We can compare our encounters with this category of other people with a gust of air upon a fire, or with a supply of pure oxygen to someone with emphysema. In the one - fire blazes up, in the other, life-giving oxygen to lungs. With regard to the fervor of charity, responding charitably with needy people does cause the divine life in us to blaze up and grow more intense and to spread.

Of course, there are all kinds of needy people; they are not necessarily those in dire want or destitution regarding material resources and basic necessities. We tend to meet people with a variety of psychological and emotional needs. When we respond in the appropriate manner to satisfy those needs, we deepen our hold on divine life and live it with greater gusto.

One other reason for esteeming the needy folk we encounter as gifts from God is the fact that Jesus identifies with them. What we do for the least of Jesus’ brothers and sisters, we do for Him.

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