فرخ FARROKH

Today, as a matter of fact just the very fuck right now, I had a premonition.

You see, a friend of mine died just yesterday from a lung cancer that had spread to mess all his insides up. He was 49 years old, almost obese, smoked like forest fire, and drank like a fish. Ike was a jovial fellow who always seemed happier than a rat in a cheese factory. No tubes and fuckin’ wires n’ hook ups for him yo, no sir..; he said he wanted to go the day before…

I am 43, and I also like to eat, smoke, and drink.

For a while now, in my middle-aged wandering mind, a few thoughts about my personal health issues, have been driving me abso-friggin’-lutely crazy. I mean to the point of mindless obsession. And it hasn’t helped that being a member of the Armed forces I have to make sure that my physical attributes meet the terms of some bullshit chart, which some cock sucking dickwad designed who knows when in the Pentagon!

I also know that I am not alone in this boat of self generated miserable feelings. Heck, lots o' people are also my brothers in pain!

Let me try to explain:

You find yourself feeling hating life when your most inner self isn’t sure or is at odds with what fuck it is that you are programmed to think that you ought to do with your life and body. You have been given plenty of advices and so called instructions. You know, all the jive that everybody who was older than you and insisted to know more and better than you told you as you grew up, and you dug up all the other junk that clutters your mind on your own in your curious masturbating discovery phase of your life. Some of them are from so long past that they are very deeply embedded in your soul; thus giving way to the condition that disobeying them results in deep sense of guilt and simply feeling like shit!

There are, I feel obliged to suspect, other psychological factors involved in why you’d feel shitty because of things you do or don’t do relating to your body. But hell if I know what they are. I ain’t no shrink and I am not even gonna try to front like one.

For right now, I’ve figured it out like this for myself: Fuck it. Do everything that you enjoy to do. Be it eat, drink, fuck, or smoke,…what have you. But god dammit, don’t over do it. You always know, and have known, when you’re over doing it. Don’t go over board!

That way, if you are lucky enough to be conscious at the time of your death, and give enough of a fuck to reflect and make a quick review of your life before you say adios, you won’t feel sorry for the things you did, and worse, the things you didn’t but wanted to do!

After that, who’d give a fuck? Damn sure you won’t!

Cheers…

When I go,

I want to go while I’m looking in your eyes.

The last image I want imprinted in my earthly memory,

Is the hazel green of your eyes,

With its sweet speckles of honey and brown…

I didn’t watch the Bush-Kerry debate in its entirety. I was bored and done with it after the first 30 minutes. In those first thirty minutes my expectation that nothing new was going to be said about anything, including Iran, was proven correct. So I left the TV to broadcast the debate for itself and went back to my PC to for a bit more surfing before retiring to bed.

However, after seeing how appalled and bitter Hoder is today at us Iranians who have some knowledge of the English language, to the point that he called us “Academic Potatoes” and “Koon Goshaads,” for not having commented about the debate as it related to Iran, I felt compelled to write a few words.

Damit, I may be a potato and a koon-goshaad, but I sure don’t want to be called out like that!

Since I didn’t watch the whole debate, I went to its transcript and Ctrl+F’ed “Iran” and read the whole thing.

Bush reiterated his beliefs about Iranians’ “aspirations” for freedom as it relates to a free Iraq. Nothing new there. That is a sound byte that’s got a lot of mileage already, even though I think it is true.

But as far as attending to the hot Issue of Iran’s Nukes, Bush gave me the impression of not really wanting to mess with it in that debate. He only restated his administration’s current position and policy that the “hope” and focus was on a “diplomatic solution.”

Who knows? Maybe Bush was worried about inadvertently letting out too much information about future plans on that issue. Hmm!?

Kerry on the other hand didn’t shy away from that issue. He tried to use it for his maximum advantage by repeatedly saying that Iran and North Korea are more “dangerous” now because of Bush’s incompetence in dealing with their nuclear issues.

He did have a solution though; he basically wants to engage the Islamic Republic on the issue directly. He seems to have no problem with Iranians enjoying electricity generated by nuclear power. But he wants the United States to be the provider of the nuclear fuel for Iran, which he also said would be a means of “testing” Iran’s true intentions behind their nuclear agendas.

Although Kerry’s intent for bilateral talks with Iran on nuclear issues may not be a surprise, the part about “testing” Iranians by “providing them with nuclear fuel” was new to me! That is something which probably deserves a whole commentary by itself.

To sum it up, whether on Iran issue or any other foreign policy matter, I believe both Kerry and Bush said exactly what their advisors thought they should say in order to increase their chances of swaying the undecided and the swing voters; not the truth or actual solutions to the issues.