Short, but Absolutely Fudging HILARIOUS Stories
Ready for a good laugh? GOOD! Here they come! Just read these little stories below!
The Annoying Buttmuncher I Actually Call My Boyfriend Named Zolo
I am sitting in my desk in English. I hate this class! The only good thing is that Britta is in it and that Zolo sits behind me! I am working on my test, Zolo is tapping my desk ever so lightly to get my attention. I casually lean back in my chair so not to be accused of talking to him. He pretends to write something on his paper so he can talk to me. "What's the answer to number 25?" he asked me. "I'm not telling you!" I replied, "It's YOUR stupid fault that you didn't study!" "Neither did YOU!!" he snapped. "SHHH!" I reminded him, "You're gonna get caught!" "Then tell me!" he said. "No!" I replied, "I am not telling you!" "Just tell me what number 25 is!" he begged, "You've always helped me out in this kind of situation before!" "I'm not TODAY!!!" I replied. "I don't understand!" he whined, "Why won't you just give me the answer to 25?!?!?" "BECAUSE ZOLO!!!!" I yelled quietly, "THERE ARE ONLY 18 QUESTIONS ON THIS TEST!!!" There is a long silence. "Oh..." Zolo said.
My Bad... Very BAD Day At School (True Story)
"I'm telling you, Sara!" I yelled, "It's not the Legislative Branch! It's Executive!" "No, I'm pretty sure it IS Legislative..." Sara replied. "Not for this question." Lauren said, joining in on our conversation, "It's the Senate." Mr. Grissman called on Nick Wood to answer the question. "I'm gonna be right and those two are gonna be wrong!" I gloated in my brain. "Um... the Judicial Branch?" Nick replied. "...Yep! It is the Judicial Branch!" Mr. Grissman replied in his usually cheerful way. Sara and I looked at each other, she bit her lip and lowered her head to keep from laughing. I laughed silently. "Oh, well I was looking at the wrong question..." Lauren said nonchalantly. "Lauren, just admit defeat." I said, "Face it... We...all...SUCK!!!!!"
All For The Captain
We all sat down for dinner, waiting for the delicious smelling food. Zolo had fallen asleep because of the mission we had just gotten back from. "Zolo, we've only been waiting for 7 minutes!!!" Berry yelled, "WAKE UP!!!" "Yeah!" Sanji added, "Get up, Sheethead!" "Leave him alone guys! That's an ORDER!!!" I yelled, "I didn't see any of YOU volunteering to carry our crap for the trip!" "Captain's pet..." Sanji mumbled. I punched him upside the head. "I SAID SHUT THE HELLO UP!" I snapped, "One more time, Sanji... AND I'LL KICK YOUR GRASS INTO THE SEA TIED TO A THOUSAND POUND ROCK!!!!!!!" Sanji sunk down in his chair, everyone knew better than to mess with me when I was mad! "Sorry guys!" Dew said, running out of the kitchen with plates of food, "Captain's order took a while because Illyria forgot to turn on the burner!" "Oh SURE!!!!" Illyria snapped, "Blame it on ME!!!!!" "Shut up you two and just give us the meal!" I said, annoyed. They both quickly set it out, giving me my favorite food, artichoke boiled in a pinch of oregano! Zolo woke up to the sound of his plate hitting the table in front of him. "Good morning, Beth!" he said, stretching, "So! What did I miss while sleeping?" "Not alot." I replied, smiling. "You idiot..." Sanji said. "Wha? What did I do?" Zolo asked. "Nothing." I replied, short of patience with Sanji, "Sanji's just being a buttmuncher..." Zolo dug into his steak, I began to eat the fruit off the leaves on my artichoke. "We should be reaching our next destination soon..." Nami said. "Right!" Kika said, "It's only 3 hours away!" "Cool!!!" I exclaimed, "We'll get there when it's dark! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" "Oh yeah..." Kiwi said, "Shadow's powers are even higher in the dark!" I smirked evilly. "Settle down, B..." Zolo said, putting his hand on my shoulder. Soon after dinner, we all got off at our destination. "Heh heh..." I laughed, "This won't take long!" I began to head into the woods, but I realized my crew was not following me. I looked around and suddenly, I was captured. "AHHHH!!!!" I yelled, "Crew! LET ME OUTTA HERE!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!" "Sorry, Beth." Zolo said, dragging the bag they put me in back to the ship, "But you're gonna get us all killed! We haven't recovered from our last mission! This is the only way... I'm sorry..." I tried to cut the bag open, but I was too crowded to grab my swords. "I kinda feel bad about this guys..." Luffy said. "Trust me! We're doing her a favor!" Zolo replied, "It's all for the Captain..."
Meeting Buggy For The First Time
Yeah, so I was walking down the street in Rogue Town, minding my own business. I was off on a mission, alone... My destination? The alley behind the Gallows where some of the toughest fighters around were supposed to gather. I wanted to see exactly how tough they were... Sure, my crew was there too, but I was off by myself, without any of them knowing. I was confident, my two swords of my right hip. The same swords that had won me countless battles. Not to mention my Blast-Blast Fruit powers! I was ready for anything! Or so I thought...
I had finally reached the Gallows. Now all I had to do was find a way around them! Suddenly, I heard some insane laugh behind me. I turned around and there stood Buggy the Clown Pirate. I knew about his plunders in the East Blue, but I pretended I didn't. "Aren't you the pirate they call Shadow?" he asked. "What's it to ya?" I replied, "What do you want with me if I AM this 'Shadow'?" "I hear you think you're pretty tough!" he continued, "So, I'm willing to make an offer." "I'm listening..." I replied. "You join my crew, and in turn, you can fight all the pirates and whoever else you want!" he offered." "And just who are you?" I asked. "I'm Buggy! The Clown Pirate!" he replied cheerfully. "Buggy, huh?" I sneered, "Your parents must be SO proud..." "Enough of your foolishness." he said, becoming a little angry, "Either take the offer, or prepare to die!" "That sounds a little harsh!" I replied, "How about no deal and I let you live?" "I'm afraid that was not one of your options..." he said, "Now! Prepare to face me and my Chop-Chop Fruit!!" "I don't think so..." I replied, walking away, "Some big-nosed freak like you? You're just not worth my time..." "WHAT?!?!?" he yelled, "HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY NOSE!!!" I smirked. If there was one thing I learned about Buggy from eavesdropping on people's conversations, it was to not say anything about his nose. His hands flew off his wrists, thanks to the power of the Chop-Chop Fruit. I noticed the blades he held in his hands. I wasn't expecting them to be so small... I held my sword up to my face, blocking his hand nearly two millimeters from my face. "Put those away before someone gets hurt!" I warned in a dark voice, "We wouldn't want to have to kill you, now would we?" I blasted him with my fire powers, burning him to a crisp. He fell over, defeated. I sheathed my swords and continued around the Gallows. Some people just never learn...
Betrayal?
"I just don't understand!" Zolo yelled, "Why would you do this to me, Beth?" "Cuz I'm NOT like all the other girls..." I replied, "And YOU, of all people should know that!" "But why would you be so cruel to me?" he asked sadly, "Why are you doing this?! What did I do to make you betray me like this?!" "Betraying? Hardly..." I replied coldly, "I like to think of it more as stabbing you in the back!" "But... why all of a sudden?" he asked, sounding almost angry, "It doesn't make any sense..." "Life is confusing, Zolo, and full of disappointments." I replied. "And now I know that you're ONE of those disappointments in life..." he said, very angry now, "Just tell me..." "No!" I replied, "I will never tell you!" "Beth! You HAVE to tell me! I'll KILL you if you don't!" he threatened. I sighed. "Fine... have it your way..." I said. "Now..." he replied, drawing his swords, "Tell me the answer to my question and I'll let you live!" "Okay, okay!" I said, "The... secret ingredient is..." "Tell me what you put in them right now!" he demanded. "The secret ingredient is..." I began again, "...Milk chocolate, instead of semi-sweet." "Whew!" Zolo said, "Thanks! I KNEW you'd never betray me and not tell me something so important!" I smirked. "Can I please have some more of your famous brownies now? Please?!" he begged. "Yeah, yeah..." I replied, sounding exasperated, "I would never let you out on my secret recipes! You're my number one costumer!" "Well, it's either me or Luffy!" he replied smiling. We both looked over at Luffy as he shoved some more brownies in his face. "These are GREAT!" Luffy said, "Hey Beth! What's your secret recipe?" Zolo looked back at me and smirked. "Why should I tell HIM?" I said smirking myself, "That's for us to know, and no one else to ever find out!"
The Endless Road
I opened my eyes. The world around was pink and orange from the setting sun. I sat up and looked to my left. Zolo was laying motionless on the ground next to me. Ignoring the deep gash in my right arm, I went over by him. "Z! Z!" I said, shaking him, "Come on! Get up!" He slowly opened his eyes and sat up. I smiled, relieved that he was okay. "Whoa..." he said, looking around, "Where are we?" "I dunno..." I replied, "This place doesn't look familiar to me. And to make things worse... I have no idea which way is north or south or anything!" "Oh great..." he replied downheartedly, "You KNOW I'M not good at direction! So... what do we do now?" "Well, where were we before we ended up here?" I asked, "We were on the ship, right?" "Right..." he replied, waiting to hear some brilliant plan. "That... doesn't help at all..." I replied. He groaned and stood up. He grabbed my arm and dragged me along. "Zolo! What are you doing?!?!" I yelled, pulling my arm away. "We HAVE to find out where we are." he said determined, "But first, we have to... AHHHHH!!! MY ARM!!!!!!!" I looked at his right arm. I huge cut in it was bleeding steadily. "Are you okay Z?" I asked. "Yeah." he replied, holding his arm and wincing in pain, "Just a little scratch." "Yeah, well did you see MY 'little scratch'?" I asked him, showing him the cut on my arm, "If the ship got caught in a storm, these could be cuts from pieces of flotsam. But I highly doubt it... I don't think these cuts are from sharp pieces of wood." "Yeah, you're right." he replied, "They look more like sword wounds to ME." "Exactly." I said, "Could it be that we were attacked?" "But who could've attacked us?" he asked, "WE WERE OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SEA!!!" "I know, I know..." I replied, "Well, I guess we only have one option then..." "We walk, right?" he asked. I nodded, he sighed. "Alright, then let's get going." he said.
We continued on down the path, with no end in sight. Zolo was kicking a rock all the way down the path. "This is so hopeless..." he said, "And boring..." "Well at least our wounds have dried up..." I said, trying to find a bright side to our current situation. He looked at his arm. "Yeah, but still..." he said. I felt bad. He seemed so down, and there was no way to cheer him up. "You've got ME, that's a plus." I suggested. He stopped walking and looked at me. I shrugged and smiled slightly. He laughed. "Well, it was a nice try, B." he said, "But! You forgot to mention the fact that YOU also have ME!" I looked at him, we both laughed. "We still have our swords!" I pointed out. "We're both alive!" he added. We continued going back and forth, finding the good, simple little things in such a dire situation. We went on for hours, walking down the seemingly endless path, naming the things we so often take for granted, laughing and having a good time. It was almost as if it were just any other day. Like we weren't lost. Like we weren't separated from the rest of the crew. Eventually, the path ended, and our friends were waiting for us with the boat at the end of it. They were alright and the ship was intact. "Oh! You guys are okay!" Nami said, "We were all really worried!" "We don't even know what happened!" Berry said, "But, we're glad to have you back, Captain Shadow! And Zolo too!" "How'd you guys ever make it?" Dew asked. I looked at Zolo, we both smiled and turned to them. "Well, it wasn't easy!" Zolo replied. "But we were able to keep our sanity and just kept enjoying the good things we have that we often take for granted." I added, "And eventually, we conquered the endless road."
We're Counting The Stars
"Hey B?" Zolo said, "How many stars do you think there are?" "I dunno." I replied, tiredly, "I'm smart, but I'm not that smart..." "Well, can't we count them?" he asked. "Zolo, you're dreaming of the impossible..." I told him, "Besides, I don't have the patience right now..." "Yeah, okay..." he replied, "I just thought it would pass the time..." I frowned. I was tired from our last crazy adventure through the Turquoise Forest and I kinda snapped at him because I was so tired out. We had just gotten done too, and we were both breathing heavily. I felt even worse when I heard him sigh sadly. "Hey, Zolo." I said. "Yeah?" he asked. "Do you think we'll be together forever?" I asked, now dreaming of the impossible myself, "Sailing the seas, going on insane missions and being best friends for all time?" He looked at me, still breathing heavily, then looked up at the night sky. "It's possible." he replied, "But eternity is a long time, B!" "It doesn't have to be." I replied, my breathing becoming ever so slightly more steady, "We could keep sailing on! In the Grand Line, hanging out with our friends! If that happens, eternity will go by like nothing." Still breathing heavily, he looked at me and stared, thinking about what I had just said. He looked up at the stars again. "Sounds like a plan." he said. His hand grabbed mine as we lay in the grass, dreaming of the impossible once again.
My Vacation With The Straw Hat Crew
"I'm such a nice Captain..." I thought, "I let MY crew go out on the town. And where do I end up? Stuck with a bunch of idiots known as the Straw Hat Pirates..." I was just standing there, arms folded, eyebrow twitching from the annoying commotion on my ship. Luffy ran in front of me, chasing after Usopp for something. I couldn't hear Luffy yell for whatever he wanted that Usopp had over the yelling of Zolo and Sanji who were fighting over something that was no doubt stupid and pointless. Over all this was Nami's yelling at them so she could have some peace and quiet to work on her maps. This was hardly a vacation.... It was more like babysitting two 17 year olds, one 18 year old and two 19 year olds as I stood there, a very annoyed 14 year old. "I'll give you to the count of three..." I said in a normal talking voice so that everyone would have to be quiet to hear me, "If you guys don't shut up by then, I'll MAKE you shut up." Well, of course no one had heard me, and their time was up. "SHUT THE FUDGING HELLO UP, YOU BUTTMUNCHERS!!!" I yelled. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me. "ZOLO! GET OVER HERE!" I yelled, "YOU TOO, LUFFY!!!" They both hurried over to me. "YOU two seem to be the sources of the problems so you have to stay by me where I can keep an eye on you." I explained, "Zolo, let Sanji work on cooking the meal. Luffy, let Usopp work on the accessories for my ship." "What?!" Zolo yelled, "You're treating us like little kids! What's your problem?!?!?" "YOU two are my problems!" I snapped, "And if you continue to act so immature, I'm gonna treat you like your that immature!" "This is so unfair..." Luffy said, folding his arms and leaning against the wall, slowly sliding down until he was sitting on the ground next to me. I rolled my eyes at him. "This is so gay!" Zolo said, walking away. "Zolo! Get back here!" I said firmly, "If you behave nicely, I'll let you two go." He sighed angrily and folded his arms, leaning against the wall and slid down onto the ground just like Luffy had done. Zolo on my right, Luffy on my left. I smirked, knowing that having these two out of everyone's way would resolve any problems that could've come up. "So THIS is how the Navy must feel after they catch a pirate!" I thought, "Heh heh... Stupid Navy..." "This is all YOUR fault, Zolo." Luffy muttered. "WHAT?!?!" Zolo snapped, "We BOTH were acting like idiots! It's BOTH of our faults! So don't go pinning your own mistakes all on me!" "Zolo, you can go." I said, "You've learned your lesson." "YES!!!!" he yelled, jumping to his feet, "HAHA! Later, Luffy!" He took off to train, trying to stay out of trouble. "Hey! What about ME?!" Luffy yelled. "You are still acting immature!" I replied, "At least Zolo learned from his mistakes and grew up a little!" "Oh, you mean the comment about how it was all HIS fault?" Luffy asked, "I was only kidding around! Seriously!" I eyed him accusingly. "Fine, you little kumquat... Go ahead..." I sighed. "YAHOO!!!" he yelled, "I'M FREE!!!" He took off running. Within a few minutes, Luffy was bothering Usopp again, chasing him around my ship. Sanji and Zolo were yelling about something again and Nami was trying to tell them all to be quiet again. It was EXACTLY the same scene as before. I stood there, arms folded, but a hopeless smirk on my face. "Why do I even bother?" I asked myself aloud.
The Stupid Compass Activity
"Okay, so turn it 45 degrees." Zolo told me. "Yeah, I know THAT, but..." I began. "But what?" he asked. "Well, when he asked if anyone knew how to use a compass, for some reason I was thinking about the one's in Math class that you use to make a perfect circle!" I replied. "Oh, great..." he moaned. "Well, at least I know a little bit about how to use them!" I defended, "YOU can't even find your way out of a flippin shoebox!!!" He grinded his teeth, I had him there. He has no sense of direction whatsoever. "So, now what..." he asked. "Let's ask Gretchen." I replied, "She knows how to use these stupid things..." We trudged through the snow, our heads down to cover them from the bitter wind. "When are we ever gonna use these things anyway?!" Zolo asked, "Hasn't he ever heard of a fudging GPS?!" I laughed a little. Finally, we reached Gretchen. "Gretchen, help us for we are stupid and confused and cold." Zolo said. Gretchen looked at me. "HE'S stupid." I replied, "Not ME!" She laughed, Zolo was not amused. "Okay, you have to turn this thing over here." Gretchen told us, grabbing our compass and showing us, "Then, you have to 'put red in the shed'." "What kind of gay saying is that?!" Zolo asked, "I mean, really! How about I take the red to his HEAD?!?!" Gretchen and I laughed at him. "Zolo, I DARE you to say that to his face!" Gretchen said, showing me how to position myself with the compass in hand. "No way!" Zolo replied, "I'm not THAT stupid!" "Ha! Got it!" I said, "I think I understand this thing now! Come on, Z. Let's go try it and so how lost we get!" "Thanks Gretchen!" Zolo said. He turned and ran to catch up to me. "So, what do we do in Spanish?" he asked me. "I have no clue." I replied, trying to follow the compass. "And did we have any homework in Science?" he asked. "Packet 17.1." I replied, still trying to follow the little red arrow on the compass. Just then, our gym teacher called us in. "Aw, and we were doing so well too!" Zolo said sarcastically. "Zolo, shut up!" I told him, "And don't forget! We have a quiz on compasses on Thursday!" "WHAT?!?!" he yelled, "Crap! I don't know how to work these things!" "Serves ya right!" I snapped. We got inside and returned the compasses, then went to our respective locker rooms to get out stuff since we didn't have to change. I waited by the girl's locker room entrance for him and we went to Spanish together. I sat down in my desk, he sat down in the one to my right. Sara came in and sat in the desk on my left. "So, how was gym?" Sara asked. Zolo groaned. "Ignore him..." I told her, "We have to work with compasses. It's really stupid... and Zolo doesn't understand it." Sara tried to prevent herself from laughing at him as he tried to draw a compass on a sheet of paper so he could study it. Mr. Berg, our Spanish teacher overheard our conversation since his desk was right behind mine. "Zorro." Mr. Berg said, since that was Zolo's Spanish name he picked, "Today we are learning directions in Spanish." Zolo just stared at him, jaw dropped, giving Mr. Berg that 'Are you flippin serious?!?!' look. "I'm only teasing, Zorro." Mr. Berg finally said. Sara and I laughed. "I hate not having a GPS..." Zolo muttered.
My Study Hall
I was am at work, writing one of my secret notes to my friends. I have to write one's to Rachel, Gretchen, Britta, Sara, Lauren, and Amber. I am writing so fast and my hand is getting so tired, but I keep writing! Then, something hits me in the back of the head. I look to my left to see if it was Ryan who threw the little ball of paper at me, but he is busy drawing Anime. He would be looking at me if he threw the paper to get my attention, so it must not be him. I continue to write, using the secret code of 'Steak Sauce'. Another ball of paper hits me in the head. I snap around, but everyone is at work, most of them working on a math assignment that was given out by another 8th grade math teacher, Mrs. Smith. I pretend to look in my backpack on my left for something, enabling me to see the culprit from the corner of my eye without them knowing. Another ball of paper comes flying at me, I am able to catch it before it hits me in the cheek. There's Zolo, with a grin on his face as stupid as ever. He waves to me, I give him an evil glare and watch as he sinks down in his chair. I look at the piece of paper, there's writing on it, as do the others have on them. All the notes read the same: 'What's your locker number?' I write down on one of the pieces of paper the reply and throw it back at him, hitting him square in the head as he writes another note. He begins opening the note, but the bell rings before he has time. I grab my gear and head out the door for Spanish, Zolo following me like a faithful little puppy. "Today's Study Hall was great!" he says. "Yeah...." I reply sarcastically, "If you like getting hit in the head by multiple paper balls!!!!" "What?" he asks, "You didn't find that fun?" I kick him in the shin. "Walk a day in MY shoes, then we'll talk..." I reply coldly as I watch him hop the rest of the way to room 114.
50 First Plates
"More food, Sanji!" Luffy demanded, his face already stuffed with meat. "Four cooks on this whole flippin ship..." I sighed, "And not a one of us can keep up with those two!" It was me, Sanji, Dew, and Darkfire against Zolo and Luffy who all of a sudden decided to have an eating competition. So far, Luffy was in the lead, having eaten 50 plates of food. Zolo was working on his 49th plate. "Please just give up, Zolo..."I pleaded, exhausted from the nonstop cooking, "You KNOW no one can beat Luffy!" "Yeah, well I'm gonna try!" he replied. "If only you were this determined to learn how to play guitar so we could start a band like I wanted..." I mumbled. He stopped eating altogether and slowly turned his head to me, obviously very ticked off. "Uh... you weren't supposed to hear that..." I said. "I'll just forget you said that while you get me another plate of food." he said, handing me his dish. Then I got ticked off. I grabbed the plate and quickly swiped it away from him. "Another plate of food for Zolo!" I called to the other cooks in the kitchen as I made my way there, "And make sure the food is poisoned!!" Right as I entered, Dew handed me a plate of food. "Give this one to Luffy." she said, "We're making a dish of food secretly drenched in hot sauce for both of them next!" I smirked. "Cuz if this keeps up, we're gonna be out of food!" Darkfire said, "And that includes our emergency rations!!!" I groaned. "I am the captain, not the flippin waitress..." I thought. I walked over to Luffy to deliver his food, a very annoyed look on my face. "Hurry up!" Luffy yelled, "Zolo's gonna beat me!" I slammed the plate down in front of him. "It's about time!" he snapped. I punched him in the face so hard, he went flying across the dining area on my ship. Then I ran over to Zolo and kicked him so hard that he flew into Luffy on the other side of the room. I walked over to them while they were still heaped up on the ground. I cracked my knuckles and aimed my swords at Luffy, but I hit the wall next to him instead. Luffy didn't dare move, the blade of my sword was nearly 1/4 of an inch away from his head. "Consider this a warning." I said, "No more eating contests, you got me?" "We got you..." they replied sadly. "Now, seeing as though both of you were only able to completely finish 50 plates, it's a tie." I said, "But you BOTH get the prize of washing all the dishes! Ya got that?!" "Yeah..." they both sighed. "What was that?!?!" I asked, holding a sword up to each of their necks. "Aye, Captain Shadow!" they both yelled, scared for their lives. I put my swords in my sheaths and walked through the kitchen to get to my room. Everyone got to the side and out of my way as I made my way through the kitchen, all of them nervous, sweat dripping down their faces. I turned to Sanji, he withdrew a little, afraid of what I might do. "I need a break... so do you mind standing lookout tonight?" I asked, patting his cheek. "Aye aye, Captain Shadow!" he replied, not daring to disagree with me. I went into my room and slammed the door shut. The notes from my ocarina carried outside and to the others. "Just as long as we don't end up like THEM!" Darkfire said, looking at Zolo and Luffy as they remained on the floor where I hit them to, still shaking from fear. "Maybe it'd be best to leave Captain alone for the rest of the night..." Sanji added. "Oh boy!" Luffy said, suddenly in the kitchen, staring at the plates of food covered with hot sauce, "Leftovers!" "Luffy! Don't!" Sanji, Dew and Darkfire yelled. Luffy was unaffected by the overwhelming amount of spiciness however. "This stuff is great!" Luffy exclaimed, beginning the second plate of hot sauce covered food, "Is there anymore?! Zolo! Let's have an eating competition with THIS stuff!" "Not in a million years..." Zolo replied, getting up and cracking his back back into place. "Now I understand why Captain gets so mad at him..." Dew said pathetically.
If the Pink Flames Crew Held Roller Blading Races
"On your marks!" I yelled, "Get set!" Everyone prepared to take off. "PEANUT BUTTER!!!" I yelled. Everyone went forward a bit, then turned to me angrily. "Come on already!!!" they all yelled. They all got back at the staring line as I laughed. "GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" I yelled. We all shot off, Usopp tripped and fell on his face though... We weren't allowed to use any powers to go faster, but everything else was allowed. Ducky, Usopp, Kika, and Luffy were a little behind. Darkfire, Zolo, Sanji, and I were neck and neck, the rest just slightly behind us. Sanji got a little ahead of me, but Zolo shoved him back, knocking Dew, Nami, and Berry over. "Thanks for that, Z!" I said, "But don't think that means I'm holding back!" "Don't want you to!" he replied, smirking. Usopp was catching up, as was the rest of the people who were hindered by Zolo. Usopp, being such a fast runner, was quickly right up by Darkfire, Zolo and me. I held my sword to the ground and laughed as he tripped over it. Then, Luffy grabbed hold of Darkfire by stretching his arms around everyone who was in front of him. "HEY!" she yelled, "YOU ARE SUCH A CHEATER!!!" "Sorry, Darkfire..." I replied, "I'm afraid he's not breaking any rules!" She clenched her teeth and drew her bow and an arrow. A direct hit, Luffy, let go. The arrow bounced out of his rubbery skin and he was unharmed, but he was still hurt for a moment, pushing him farther behind. Then, I saw a shadow moving swiftly under my roller blades. "Berry..." I said. I blasted the shadow with water, flushing her out of the shadows. The finish line was in view. I looked to Zolo, he nodded. "I understand." he said, "This is where our truce breaks!" "And I win!" I added. I sped ahead, he tried to catch up. "Sorry, but Captain Shadow is winning today!" I said. I raised the earth behind me, creating a wall of rock that all the others smashed into. I smirked and continued on, more slowly now. With that wall there, there was no rush. Then, from out of nowhere, something hit me. I fell to the ground, too scraped up from the fall to make a speedy recovery and win the race. But it was over, the unknown attacker had crossed the finish line. I heard the wall of earth I had lifted crumble to the ground, the others rushed to my side. "Shadow!" Zolo said, "Are you okay?" "I'm fine..." I replied, "But... if all of you are HERE, who won?!" We all looked, the winner was laughing manically. "Is that..." Kika began. "BUGGY!!!!!!" we all yelled. "Hahaha! You all lose, I win! I win! Hahaha!" he teased. I looked to Zolo, he smiled evilly. I turned to the rest of the crew, evil grins all around. "Join in on beating him up..." I said, getting up, my swords in hand, "And we ALL get the prize!!"
By the time we were through with him, he would NEVER again dare to interrupt our race!
Trip To Rogue Town
"...As soon as he saw it was me, he took off running
for his life!" Zolo bragged, "I have never seen someone run so fast
from me in my life! This guy was truly scared of my strength!" "Uh
huh..." I replied, not believing him, "I would have expected a story
like that from Usopp, but not YOU, Zolo." "It's TRUE!" he
defended. "Sure..." "Are you even listening?" "No, not
really..." "Why not?" "Cuz you're getting full of yourself!
It's annoying!" "Sorry for being so proud of my accomplishment!!"
"HOW CAN YOU BE PROUD OF SOMETHING THAT NEVER HAPPENED?!?!?!?!?!" He
sighed. "Would you mind not yelling?" he asked, "I don't like it
when you are angry at me cuz one, I feel bad, and two... YOU ARE SCARY
WHEN YOU'RE MAD!!!!" "Should've thought of THAT before you told
that little white lie of yours!" I snapped. "Would you please just
forget about it?!?!" he pleaded, "I feel really bad about it
now..." I hugged him. "It's okay." I reassured, "I know you
were only trying to impress me... as usual..." Then, we both stopped dead.
"Can you feel that?" I asked him, "Some kind of... evil
presence..." "I know what you mean! I feel it too!" he replied,
"Who could it be?" "Let's just hope it's not someone who's
holding a grudge against US!" I said, "But it's better if we find THEM
before they find US!" "Right." Zolo agreed, "Let's go!"
"Toss me a 'Shadow-wind, would ya?" Zolo asked while we ran through
the allies of
"Do you see anything, Z" I asked. "No..." he replied, "IT'S ALMOST PITCH BLACK OUT!!!!! DO YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO SEE ANYTHING?!?!?!?!?!" "You don't have to be so pushy about it..." I said. I continued to look below us, but the town remained vacant. "There!" Zolo pointed out, "I see someone!" I looked where he was pointing, anger flared up inside of me. "GRRR! I don't believe it!" I said, "That's Sir Crocodile! Otherwise known as Mr. 0!" "That CAN'T be him!" Zolo replied, "How'd he..." "No questions!" I said, "Let's just kick his butt!" I landed near the house Sir Crocodile had just entered. "Why is he going inside?" Zolo whispered. "DO I LOOK LIKE HIS FUDGING SECRETARY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" I snapped, "Let's just listen in first... see what he's up to..." Inside, Sir Crocodile was digging through some dresser drawers and kitchen cupboards. "What does he think he's gonna find?!" Zolo asked, almost sounding annoyed, "A year's supply of poison hooks?!?!?!" "Zolo! Chill!" I said, "But I DO agree... I doubt whatever someone like HIM would be looking for is in that house. Even if this IS a pretty rough town..." We waited and waited as he dug through all the drawers and cupboards a third time. "GAH! This is getting us nowhere..." Zolo said frustrated, "Let's just go!" "Not before I leave him a little gift!" I replied, smirking. I used my combined powers of fire, earth, and lightning to create a small little ball of glowing energy. I tossed it at Sir Crocodile and it landed right in his pocket. "Perfect..." I said evilly. "Oh! Awesome move, Beth!" Zolo said. I flew both of us back to the port where the rest of my crew was waiting. While still flying, I held out my hand for Zolo to see. "Three, two..." I counted out loud while also counting on my fingers, "One." We both smirked as we heard a loud explosion from the house Sir Crocodile was in. "Good thing that house was abandoned!" Zolo said. "My new move, Shadow Bomb!" I replied, "Let's get outta here! He's not gonna be too happy! Neither are the residents that were asleep! Come on, Z! The Pink Flames Crew is off to the Grand Line!!!"
Two-Faced Rogue
“Sir! The Straw Hat Pirates have been spotted at the port!” one of the men said. “Excellent!” Smoker replied, “Shadow! Report!” I hurried to him from the training room where I was sparring Tashigi. “Coming, Sir!” I called out, leaving Tashigi in a pile on the floor. I ran quickly into his quarters and stood before him. “You called me, Captain?” I asked. “They’re here…” he replied. I smirked evilly. “I know exactly what to do, Sir.” I said, “Sheesh! It’s about time those fools got here! Don’t worry, Captain Smoker! I’m your girl for the job!” “I know I can always count on you, Shadow!” he replied, smiling, “Dead or alive… just bring them here!” “I’ll bring them alive...” I said, “So we can execute them!” “Good!” he replied, “Move out!” “Yes Sir!” I yelled. I quickly ran out of Central Command, I coughed as soon as I got into the fresh air. “Fudge! I can’t STAND that smoke!” I said aloud to myself, “Oh well! At least THEY’RE here! It’s about time they made it!” I laughed coldly as I took off for them, sensing them out.
“Smoker, Sir!” I called out, “I caught them! Every last one! The Straw Hat Pirates are all ours!” I dragged them into his quarters. Smoker smiled triumphantly. “Excellent work, Shadow!” he said. “Oh… I feel so weak…” Nami said. “I can’t believe we got captured!” Usopp whined. “I’m so ticked off!” Sanji added. “You’ll never get away with this, Shadow!” Zolo said, an angry scowl on his face. He looked so ridiculous, I had to use all my strength to keep myself from laughing and blowing our cover. “Yeah right!” I sneered, “You’re as good as dead, Roronoa Zolo. And your swords… are MINE!!” He clenched his teeth in anger. Smoker laughed at their expense. “Let the execution begin!” he commanded. “Okay!” I replied. I cut my friends free with my swords, they stood up and drew their weapons, getting into fighting stances. “But only cuz you asked for it!” I laughed, “Good luck surviving an attack from your best attacker, ‘Sir’! KILL HIM!!!!!”
Here's a little preview of my newest book, 'I Follow My Own Path'. Enjoy!
Zolo rammed Django up against a tree, grabbing him by the neck. "Now talk!" Zolo demanded as I stood behind him, arms folded and scowling, "What can you tell us about Kuro's weaknesses?" "Like I'd tell you!" Django sneered. Zolo threw him on the ground hard. "Zolo! Careful!" I said, "He's our key to defeating Kuro!" Zolo looked at me, then scoffed at him. "Ya know, I'm only sparing your life for her..." Zolo said, "If I could kill you, I'd destroy you for what you did to her!" "Zolo! Chill!" I said, "Look, he didn't cut my throat all THAT deep. And I'm still standing here, talking to you, aren't I? So I'm alive! Really... I can take care of him if I WAS hurt badly!" It was only us and Django. Usopp and the Veggie Pirates took Kaya back to the mansion. "Captain Kuro has no weaknesses!" Django laughed. "You're wasting your time! You should be helping your friend defeat Kuro! Not like you could defeat him, even with your combined efforts! So why waste time on ME?!" "You're right! We ARE wasting our time on you!" Zolo said darkly, "And now I'm gonna waste YOU!" He ran at Django, I put my hand on his shoulder. He stopped immediately and turned to me. I looked at him in that 'And just what are you trying to get out of this?' way. "Aw, he has it coming..." Zolo replied.
Want more of 'I Follow My Own Path'? Here it is!
Just then, the wind picked up and the sky got dark. The waves splashed up hard against the ship, tilting it a little. Zolo and I fell to the deck next to each other, his arm was around my side. I couldn't really tell if I lost my balance from the wind and waves or if Zolo tackled me down to the ground to protect me. "Sheesh!" he said, looking out at the sea, still down on the deck with his arm around me, then he looked at me, "Are you okay, Beth?" "I'm fine." I replied, a little startled by the sudden storm myself, I looked out towards Golden Island, "This must be the endless storm that constantly circles the island!" Lightning struck the sea so close to us, we could feel the heat from it. Zolo clenched his teeth. "You should get outta here." he said, "I don't want you to get hurt!" "Zolo, I've survived more packs of mass murderers who were out to get me than I can count!" I replied, "I think I can survive a little thunderstorm!" "But what if you get struck?" he asked. "That means more Blast-Blast Lightning power for ME!" I replied, smiling, "In fact, it wouldn't be too bad if I got hit!" "Don't get any crazy ideas..." he said, making sure that he held me down to the deck so I couldn't get up, "Now is NOT the time for one of your crazy plans!"
More of 'I Follow My Own Path' right here!
"Sister Beth!" someone yelled. Johnny and Yosaku came running up to me. "Oh, it's you two." I replied, "Yeah, so what's up?" "We're going to Arlong Park with you!" Yosaku said. "What? Too afraid to go alone?" I teased, "So, you're hiring ME as your tour guide? Your bodyguard? Two men, who I might add are bounty hunters, are asking a teenaged girl... to take them to teh park..." "No!" Johnny lied, "We're just... giving you some company!" "Ri-ight..." I said, smirking. "Aw! Just take us!" Yosaku whined. "Okay. On one condition..." I replied. "Just so long as we don't have to fight any Mermen!" Johnny said, "Name it!" "Give me some info on Zolo's bounty hunting days and we'll call it even." I replied. "Right now?!" they yelled. "Now." I replied, sitting down, "And until I find out everything I want to know... No one is leaving this spot!" "Can't we go upwind a little farther?" Johnny asked, covering his nose. "The smell of Mermen prepared 'well-done' doesn't smell too great..." Yosaku added, holding his nose as well. "And you call yourselves bounty hunters..." I said, "The smell of dead bodies... YOU should be used to it! It doesn't bother ME any, but we can leave if you want..." I stood back up and blasted the pile of dead bodies that were in my way with psychic energy. Johnny and Yosaku stood there, jaws dropped, I ignored them and continued on. "Let's go, you two!" I yelled. "Right, sorry!" they replied in unison. We continued on, they looked uneasily around for any ambushing Mermen. I just kept walking, then I stopped. "Hmmm..." I said. "What is it, Sister Beth?" Yosaku asked. "Zolo..." I replied, "He just beat Hachi. I can sense it." "Really?!" Johnny asked, "And... he's okay?" I was silent for a moment, almost hesitating, making sure I was sensing right. "No." I finally said. "No?! What do you mean 'No.'?!?!" Yosaku yelled. "He's lost blood... alot of blood..." I replied, "Maybe five liters... maybe a little more..." "Five liters?!?!?!" they yelled. "He needs my help now." I said, "You two are on your own." I took off running, desperately trying to get to Zolo, although I didn't show it. I know I sounded calm, but I'm REALLY totally freaked out and worried right now. Since the human body has 5.6 liters of blood and Zolo has lost at least 5, he can REALLY use some help right now. I finally made it to Arlong Park. I jumped up on the huge building and looked down at the scene below. Zolo was lying on the ground, gravely injured. Luffy was in the water, unconscious but Genzo and Nojiko stretched his neck and held his head above to breathe. Kuroobi and Sanji were underwater too, with Sanji on the losing end of things. Usopp had run away from Choo and so they were not where I could see them. "Zolo needs help." I thought, "And I'm gonna give it to him, no matter what!" I jumped down by Zolo, picked him up, and jumped back up on the building so fast, it looked like I teleported. I laid Zolo down gently on the roof, he coughed out blood. "Zolo! Zolo! Can you hear me?!" I yelled, "Z! I'm right here! Please, get up!" "...Beth..." he asked, slowly opening his eyes and turning his head to me, "Is... that you?" "Yes, Z! It's me!" I replied, hugging him, "I'm here now... Everything's going to be alright!" "B... you shoulda seen it..." he said, weak and exhausted, "I... did... great..." And with that, he lost consciousness. "Zolo!" I yelled, "Come on! Get up! I want to hear all about it!" He looked at me, very weak and tired. "I'm sorry B..." he said, "I just can't stay awake..."