Step 1: Meat

Gits ya slab of meats an' semi-freeze it so yous can cut its easy like

Slice meats in very narrow strips ('bout bacon sized) follerin' t'grain of the meat


Welcome to the kitchen, 'cuse me while i drunk	don't go knife crazy now; good strait cuttin'	mose dat blood on mah apron is fum mahself an' dose 30 chickens i slaughtered

Step 2: Marinade

Nex step is brewin' up a marinade.

Now, ya'll can change her up as ye sees fit, but I ain't one for changin' ma ways.

Juss needs to be able to soak in'a to them meats an' be salty like.


Here be the basic ressa-pee that ma famblys be usin' for juner-a-shuns	Git ya mixin' bucket an' slosh togither all them 'gredients

Step 3: Mixin'

Git your meats into th' mixin' bucket and bo'jangle it all togither, mix her good.

Store it all in a fridge for 3 - 6 hours to cure (spend this time drinkin')

Drain and pat dry it all jentle like


Forgot last 'gredient: Chew Spit	trust me, those hans ain't clean	... thems knives ain't much cleaner	work it in thar like you jus don't caar

Step 4: Jerky Dryilator

You needs ta construck up a Jerky Dryilator.

No heat is needed, only air movementation.

Requires: 1 box fan, 4 or so standard home furnace filters (don't use fiberglass unless yer hankerin' fo' some menthol jerky)

Stack'em with a empty one on tops


set'er up so air flows through filters and over the sweet meats	lay meats out evenly in them filters, moar room th' better

Step 5: Waitin'

Strap up the filters to that fan wit bungee coards and let her blow.

Get one of those robot home timer clocks, ta count down for ya, an' set her for bouts 8-12 hours... that's a lots of drinking

Trust no one, guard wit ya' life


12:00 -- crack a ber	11:49 -- four beers closer to drunksville	11:06 -- i's drunker'an hell

Step 6: Eatin'

Once thems 12 hours are up and you wake from your alcohol induced como, that jerky juss be a waiting fo' eatin'

That be some damn Good Eats.

To quote the great Ge'oge Dubya: "Mission Accomplished"