'bout Me

Fo' all yo' Yankees an' Scallywags back in Mary-Land who haf been wonnerin' about me, ah made this hyar webpage. Fo' yo' all who didn't know; ah live in Tennessee now an' ah have successfully assimilated into the society. ah git up at 4 a.m, dawgone it. ev'ryday t'tend t'th' animals an' haf mah 5 brekfest beers. A study thet me an' mah friend Jim Ebenezer did, in his barn, proved thet Budweiser has all th' essential vitamins an' minerals a Tennessean needs. Couple thet wif mah brain grub, Jack Daniels, strait fum th' hills of mah beloved state, an' ah don't need much chewin' foods. I'm as healthy as a muskrat an' twice as scared of water. ah took some pitchers catalogin' mah ev'ryday life an' put them hyar t'share wif yo' all, ah reckon. So I'll let them does th' talkin'.