Fate's Price
This was it. This was what the end of a career looked like - neatly spaced text on plain white paper. No fanfare, no ceremony, no speeches - just black ink and the dry smell of wood fiber. She read the papers carefully, and then picked up the phone. She had a few calls to make. ******** Harm marked his place with his finger and reached for the phone. "Rabb." "Harm?" "Mac!" He put the book aside and sat up. "Hi!" "Hey." There was something odd about her tone of voice, and he picked up on it immediately, despite the distance between them. "Is everything okay?" "Yeah. Everything's fine. It's just…" She paused, and he heard her take a deep breath. "My separation papers just got here." "Oh." A mix of emotions flooded through him at the news. Pleasure, excitement, and relief warred with concern, guilt, and fear. The resulting mess was enough to steal his capacity for intelligent speech. "Yeah, oh." "Are you okay?" She blew out a breath. "Yeah. I mean, this is what we agreed on, right? Fate's choice?" "Just because we agreed on it doesn't mean it's easy." He said the words gently, wishing he could be there to hold her right now. "Maybe not, but at least now we can set a wedding date." She tried to change the subject, but he heard the tremble in her voice and knew she was struggling. "Mac… I don't want you to regret this." "I won't, Harm. I just need some time to get used to it. It's one thing to talk about leaving the Marine Corps. It's something altogether different in black and white." "Are they letting you go completely?" "No. They're putting me on reserve status. I'm to be reassigned to a base in the UK and I've been ordered to 'make myself available to the American Embassy for the purpose of providing legal advice on American military matters.’ Marine-speak for 'we might lengthen your leash a bit, but you still belong to us'." "Is that a good thing?" "I don't know, Harm. I can't decide if I like it better this way or if it'd be better if they'd just let me go completely so I could move on." "It doesn't sound like they're giving you much of a choice." "Nope." "Have you talked to Harriet yet?" She laughed a little. "You know Harriet. The first thing out of her mouth is going to be 'have you set a date yet?' I thought I should talk to you first." "Give me a second. Let me grab my calendar." "Did you get a chance to see Mattie?" she asked. "Sure did." "How'd she take it?" "She seemed relieved more than anything." "She's lucky to have you, Harm." "She's lucky to have us, you mean," he answered with a smile as he pulled his calendar out of his briefcase. "Okay. I've got the calendar. Did they give you a termination date?" "August 31." "Another three weeks, then." "Yes, and I still don't know who my replacement's going to be." Frustration echoed in her voice. "You know the military," Harm said. "I wouldn't put it past them to send somebody in on your last day." "Nor would I." "When are you supposed to report to your reserve duty billet?" "September 15." "I wonder how much leave I can get. If we're lucky, we might be able to have a real honeymoon." "I'd like that." Harm looked at his calendar. "How quickly do you think we can plan this?" "I imagine Harriet will help. She's already offered to let us have the wedding at their house. It saves us having to find a church this late in the game. Why do you ask?" "I'm wondering if we can do the wedding on September third. That would still give us a week for a honeymoon, plus a few days extra to get back here and get settled." "What about Mattie?" Mac asked. "We'll fly back here with her right after the wedding and get her back to King's College. They won't want her to miss too many days of rehab anyway. We should be able to do that and still take a few days for ourselves." "Do you think she'll be up to taking part in the wedding?" "I don't know, Mac. You'd have to ask her." "I'll call her in the morning, then. It's too late there now." "Mac?" "Hmm?" "We're going to make this work." She sighed. "I know we will. It's just hard letting go." "I know it is. And if there's anything I can do to help, all you have to do is ask." "I could use a hug," she said. "Will you take an IOU?" "Only if the interest rate's decent." Harm laughed. "And what constitutes decent?" "I'm thinking 200 percent," she said with a smile in her voice. "Compounded hourly." "Oh my God. I'm marrying a loan shark." Mac laughed. "There are all kinds of things you don't know about me, Harm." "And I look forward to learning each and every one of them." He deliberately dropped his voice to a seductive rumble, and was rewarded by her groan of frustration. "Harm, you aren't playing fair." "I never have before…" He heard voices in the background, followed by the rustle of shifting papers. "Harm?" Mac said. "I need to go. I have a lawyer waiting who seems to think an air horn is a handy way to demonstrate a point of evidence." Harm laughed. "Could be worse, Mac. Could be a semi-automatic." Mac groaned. "Don't remind me. I'll send you an email later and let you know what Mattie says." "Sounds good. Love you." "I love you, too." Harm disconnected the phone, but didn't immediately hang it up. Instead, he rested it against his chest while he thought about the conversation. Mac was having trouble with this. He understood that. Hell, he was asking her to give up the one thing that had given her life meaning for years. It was bound to be difficult for her. He only hoped she'd let him help her through it. They were a team now, in every sense of the word, and she shouldn't have to deal with this alone. ******** Mac hung up the phone and hit her intercom button. "Jen? Send her in." "Yes, ma'am." Seconds later, Mac's office door opened to admit Lieutenant Davis. "Close the door, Lieutenant." Silently, Davis did as Mac asked. Then she approached the desk, coming stiffly to attention a few feet away. Mac stood up and approached the younger woman in icy silence. She allowed the tension to build for several interminable minutes, not relenting until she saw beads of sweat break out on Davis's brow. Only then did she speak, her tone low and menacing. "What in the hell did you think you were doing in there, Lieutenant?" To her credit, Davis didn't pretend not to know what Mac was talking about. "Making a point, ma'am." "A point?" "Yes, ma'am." "Explain yourself Lieutenant, and it had better be good." "Ma'am, yes ma'am." Davis took a deep breath. "It was the case I was working on, ma'am. PFC Ellis is facing Article 116 charges for using an air horn beneath a classroom window." "And…?" "Ma'am, the class was taking an important final exam. They were halfway through the test when Ellis discharged the air horn." "And you felt it necessary to provide a live demonstration in the courtroom because…" "Ma'am, Captain Gomez is defending the case." "What does that have to do with anything?" Davis sighed. "The captain contends that any Naval Officer, even a green recruit, should be able to accomplish a mission despite interruptions and distractions. He's arguing that instead of bringing PFC Ellis up on charges we should be thanking him for challenging the midshipmen to overcome obstacles." "And your answer to that was to discharge an air horn in the middle of Captain Gomez's closing argument?" Mac swallowed a smile. Davis was starting to remind her more and more of somebody else she knew, and she found the comparison highly amusing. Davis shrugged. "I just wanted to see if he could continue to concentrate on his closing arguments after that." "And?" Mac saw Davis's lips twitch. "Ma'am, I believe I accomplished my goal." "Tell me, Lieutenant. On what do you base this belief?" "Well, ma'am, after I discharged the air horn, court proceedings pretty much came to a standstill for a while." Mac snorted. "Imagine that." Davis relaxed marginally, and Mac remembered her command responsibilities. Her personal amusement would have to wait. She stepped closer to Davis, invading the woman's personal space and silently daring her to back away, but privately pleased when the younger woman held her ground. "If you ever pull a stunt like that again while you're under my command, you'll regret it, Lieutenant. And, lest you think that all you have to do is wait me out, I'm putting a note in your record so that my successor knows exactly what happened here today. Unorthodox behavior like what you did today is not acceptable at JLS, understood?" "Yes, ma'am." Davis's tone was respectful and contrite, but there was an underlying tone of defiance that made Mac decide further action wasn't only appropriate, but necessary. "And furthermore, you will apologize to Judge Harris and to Captain Gomez in open court tomorrow – on the record." "But ma'am…" "That's an order, Lieutenant." "Yes, ma'am." "Dismissed." Mac waited until Davis had her hand on the doorknob before throwing out her final words. "Oh, and Davis?" Davis froze and turned around slowly to look at her. "Yes, ma'am?" "You have weekend duty for the next two months." If the assignment disturbed her, Davis gave no sign of it. Instead, she simply nodded once and left the room, closing the door behind her. Mac returned her attention to the papers on her desk. Her separation orders still lay on top, and she stared at them, her mind churning. For years, she'd devoted nearly every waking moment of her life to the Marine Corps. She lived by its values, defined herself by her role as a JAG lawyer, and believed with every fiber of her soul that the Marines Corps had literally saved her from herself. Now, like the severing of a lifeline, she was being cut adrift from all that. In a few short weeks she'd be a military bride, living in London, probably spending a lot of time with Mattie, and, for a while at least, not even practicing law in any meaningful way. Could she do this? Could she let go of all of it for love? She looked around her office. She understood this world, with its courtrooms and lawyers, its regulations and codifications. She understood the hierarchy, knew the politics, and moved easily within the ebb and flow of its currents. London, on the other hand, was a complete unknown. The city's ways were alien to her, the language often nearly incomprehensible. She'd be alone often, while Harm worked long hours at the office or in the field. Would she be able to handle the loneliness? Could she be content simply as Harm's wife and Mattie's mother? Mac picked up the phone and dialed the Roberts residence. Maybe if she kept busy the gnawing anxiety in the pit of her stomach would ease. ********** Tuesday, August 9, 2005 Harm stepped quietly into Mattie's room. She was still asleep, her hair spread across the pillow and her face free of pain and tension. He glanced at his watch. It was early yet, barely 0700, and the nurses wouldn't get Mattie up for another half hour. He'd wanted to see her before work though, and somehow he knew she'd forgive him for the thirty-minute loss. "Mattie?" She stirred, but didn't wake immediately, and he tried again. "Mattie, honey. It's Harm. Time to wake up, Sleeping Beauty." This time she opened one eye, peering blearily at him through droopy lashes. The eye closed again. "Mmmf," she mumbled. "Mattie, come on. We need to talk." This time both eyes opened, and she glared at him through lids still determinedly at half-mast. "I hate mornings." He laughed. "Yeah. I know this about you." He pulled a bag from behind his back and dangled it just above her nose. "I bring gifts." Her nose twitched, and one eye opened all the way. "Croissants?" "Yep. But only if you sit up for me." She groaned. "Geez… Isn't it enough that Nurse Hatchet tortures me all day long? Do you really have to do it before I'm even awake?" "It's Nurse Ratched, Mattie, and you know it." She rolled her eyes at him, and he grinned. "Besides," he said, "I'm told torture's what dads are supposed to be best at, and I really want to be a good dad." Mattie glared at him. "Really, Harm. You don't need to try quite so hard." "I take pride in my work, Mattie. You know that. Now come on, sit up for me." Mattie sighed heavily, but eased her arms between her body and the mattress. Harm resisted the urge to help her, forcing himself to watch quietly while she struggled. By the time she was semi-upright, sweat was pouring off her face. She dropped her head back against the pillow. "Those better be some mighty good croissants in that bag of yours, Harm." "Only the best for you, Mattie." She snorted her derision, and he laughed as he handed over the bag. They were quiet for several minutes while Mattie devoured the croissant and followed it with several gulps of cool water. "Now," she said finally. "What's so important that you had to ruin my dream about Aaron Carter?" "Umm… Who?" That earned him another roll of the eyes. "Never mind." She reached behind her head and adjusted a pillow. "So what's up?" "I talked to Mac last night." Mattie sighed her exasperation. "Harm. You talk to Mac every night." "Well, yes, but this talk was different." Harm took a breath. "We set a wedding date." Mattie's eyes snapped to his. "She got her separation papers?" He nodded. "Yesterday." Mattie was quiet for a moment, digesting the news. "So when's the big day?" "September third." "Where?" "The Roberts’s' house. It's easier than finding a church." Mattie considered that. "So we have to fly back to the States?" Harm nodded. "Think you're up to it?" "I can handle it if you can." "Good." He smiled at her. "I'm thinking we'll fly out on Thursday afternoon. That gives us Friday to deal with jet lag and help with any last minute details." "Harm?" "Hmm?" "Where will we stay?" "I had an email from Bud and Harriet this morning. They want us to stay with them." "But what about…?" She indicated her bed with a frustrated glance. "I'm not exactly a low maintenance guest, Harm." "Mattie, it's okay. Bud and Harriet have a downstairs room that they've already offered for you. You'll love it. They have an entertainment system in there that I'm sure you'll adore." She perked up. "Wide screen? Surround sound?" He nodded. "Flat screen, I think. And they've already rented a bed for you. It's the same one they had in there before Bud got his prosthesis. All kinds of gizmos and gadgets." "Cool." "And, before you even mention it, I'm looking into hiring a nurse to make the trip with us. You won't need to worry about asking me or Bud or Harriet every time you need to use the bathroom." "Tell me you're going to hire a woman." "Aww…You don't want me to get that Aaron guy you were dreaming about?" Mattie glared at him. "He's a rock star, Harm. I seriously doubt he does much nursing." "I could check." Harm was all helpful innocence. "Don't even think it." Harm laughed, and then glanced at his watch. "I need to get going, Mattie. I've got an early meeting today. Are you going to be okay?" "Absolutely. I've got lots to do if I'm going to be able to get a wheelchair up the aisle by myself on the third." "Don't overdo it, Mattie." Harm was suddenly concerned for her, and she blew out a breath at him. "Harm. Stop worrying and go. You've got a job to do." He saluted playfully and backed away from the bed. "Ma'am, yes ma'am!" She stuck out her tongue, and he grinned. "Careful. My mother would tell you your tongue just might freeze that way." "Go!" He lifted his hands in self-defense. "I'm going!" And with a final chuckle, he turned and left, leaving her shaking her head ruefully at the empty doorway. ********** Tuesday, August 16, 2005 Mac sat on the sofa in her furnished apartment, knees pulled up under her chin. It had been more than a week since her separation papers had arrived, and her feelings of unease had been growing exponentially. The tension mounted with every passing day as she drew closer and closer to the end, until she'd reached the point now where she wasn't sleeping, couldn't eat, and frequently overreacted to the smallest things at the office. Doom and Gloom were avoiding her like the plague. Rankin, who'd only just returned, kept giving her puzzled looks. Even Jennifer seemed to be treading carefully. Harriet had been wonderful. At least… she was trying to be. Despite Harm and Mac's repeated pleas for a simple wedding, Harriet had hired a caterer, rented a tent and a hundred folding chairs, made arrangements with Chaplain Turner, and even managed to track down a live band – a step Mac had vetoed in favor of a DJ with decent sound equipment. Mac had been deluged by emails from Harriet about menus, flowers, and music, and she'd done her absolute best to appear enthusiastic in her responses. The problem was, the enthusiasm was a ruse. Mac wasn't excited. She felt none of the giddy pleasure she would've expected to feel at the prospect of marriage to Harm. Instead, she felt like she was being slowly and painfully torn in half. She wanted this marriage, had wanted it for a very long time. In fact, in many ways her upcoming wedding was the fulfillment of her greatest dream. And yet… and yet marriage to Harm meant giving up the one thing that had given her life meaning and definition for more than a decade. How could she do this? How could she be expected to give up such a huge part of who she was in favor of… what, exactly? Yes, she'd have Harm, but he'd be working for long hours. She wasn't going to fool herself about that. So she'd be gaining only a piece of him, and an unknown future, while giving up something she knew and loved. She wrapped her arms more tightly around her knees, and when the phone rang she glanced across at the caller ID. It was Harm, of course. He often called at this time of the day. She imagined he wanted to talk about Mattie and her reaction to their having set a wedding date. She stared at the phone, but didn't reach for it, and when the answering machine picked up she turned the volume all the way down, unable to deal with the sound of his voice. ********** Harm hung up the phone with a puzzled expression. Where was she? It was just past midnight her time. Late, yes – but not unusually so for her. In the three months he'd been here, she'd never failed to answer the phone when he'd called at this time of the day. His computer beeped a reminder about his morning meeting, and he glared at it. Time waited for no man, apparently – and neither did the military. He stood up with a sigh, reminding himself that she had sounded tired lately. Maybe she'd just gone to bed early. He pushed away the gnawing feeling of concern and grabbed his cover. He had a meeting to attend. ******************************* Commercial Break ****************************** Introducing the second spin-off in the highly successful Stargate franchise… Stargate: JAG! Join Harm, Mac, and the rest of their intrepid crew as they bring law and order to a chaotic galaxy. Watch as they bring the evil Goa’uld to trial for multiple infractions of the UCMJ. Listen to impassioned closing arguments. Witness stunning in-trial weapons demonstrations. See the Tok’ra enlist our heroes’ help for hopelessly mangled undercover missions. Gasp as Harm ejects once again, this time from the experimental X-302! Harm and Mac, the brains and brawn. Bud, the comic relief and purveyor of eclectic information. Sturgis, the strong, silent type. Together, they are… SG: JAG! Coming soon to JAG TV. **************************** End Commercial Break *****************************
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