Fate's Price
Saturday, August 27, 2005
"Now. Do you want to tell me what's going on?" Mac blinked and shook her head sharply, struggling to clear the cobwebs. "How… When…?" "The normal way, and a few hours ago. I think your neighbors are starting to think I'm a stalker." "Where's Mattie?" "Still in London. She sends her love, by the way." He folded his arms across his chest, waiting for her next question. "But what about… " "Work?" She nodded weakly, still not quite believing he was here. "I told them I'd be back on Monday," he said. "And I don't care if they try to court martial me for going AWOL. This is more important." She did a quick mental calculation. "You must've left London… " "About 1100. Time's a funny thing, isn't it?" She dropped her duffle bag and moved to turn on a lamp, flooding the room in warm yellow light. Then she opened the small fridge and pulled out two bottles of water, stalling for time, aware of his increasing impatience, but not sure how to explain it all to him. He shook his head when she offered him the water, but didn't say anything, knowing that she'd talk when she was ready. "I went to see Uncle Matt today," she said finally. "I'm glad. It'll be hard get back to visit him once we're in London." She nodded, but her mind raced ahead. "How is he?" Harm asked. "He's good." "Glad to hear it." "Yeah." The silence settled in again, rapidly approaching the awkward stage. She twisted her engagement ring nervously. "Talk to me, Mac. Let me help." She sighed. "I'm not sure you'd understand." "You haven't given me a chance." His voice was mildly accusatory, and she winced. He was absolutely right. "I thought I was okay with all of this," she said quietly. "I thought I could just resign my commission, marry you, and live happily ever after." "But?" She shrugged, moving across to the couch where she sat down, placing her bottle of water on the table in front of her. "When the papers came in, and the reality of it all hit…" She trailed off, unsure how to put it into words. He watched her for a few moments, and when she didn't immediately continue, he sat down beside her. "Mac. I told you I'd help you through this." She shook her head. "But that's just it. You can't. It isn't your problem. It isn't happening to you!" "Is that it, then? You think it's unfair that you have to give up your career and I don't?" She heard the anger and frustration building in his voice, and shook her head. "No! I know we agreed to this. I know we both said we'd let fate decide." "Then I don't understand." She turned toward him, taking his hand in hers. "It isn't you, Harm. It never was. When Jennifer handed me the papers, and I saw the end of my career in black and white, it suddenly occurred to me that I had no idea how to do this." She paused, and took a deep breath. "I know how to be a Marine, Harm. And I know how to be a lawyer. I have no clue how to go about being a wife and mother." She dropped her head, gazing at his thumb as it smoothed its way back and forth across the back of her hand. "And this is why you suddenly stopped returning my phone calls? Why you didn't respond to my emails?" She nodded. "I didn't know what to say. Somehow, 'I don't know' didn't seem to quite cover it." "No, but 'I'm having a hard time' would have." She shrugged. "I didn't want to worry you." He laughed at that. "And you didn't think your sudden silence would worry me?" "I knew that if I talked to you it would all come out, and I wasn't ready for that." "So you disappeared, instead." "I didn't disappear… exactly." He raised an eyebrow at her, and she sighed. "Okay. I guess I did." "Yeah. You did." "So you went to see your uncle because...? Did you think he'd tell you what to do?" She laughed. "Well, if I went there thinking that, he set me straight pretty fast. I got the impression he didn't want to be held responsible for my choices." "So what did he say?" "He told me that I had to decide whether to listen to my fears or ignore them, that I was the only one who would ever know for sure whether the decision I made was the right one." "Your uncle's a wise man." She smiled at that. "Yes. He is." "So?" "So… what?" "Did you decide to listen to your fears? Or to ignore them?" She looked over at him, seeing the fear in his eyes and the tension in the way he held his body. He looked exhausted, as though he hadn't been sleeping any better than she had, and she realized with a start that he probably hadn't. She wanted to kick herself for doing this to him, for putting him through the worry and the anxiety, pushing him to the point where he'd gotten on a plane to come here and see for himself what was going on. Still, she couldn't change the way she'd felt, couldn't deny the terrible ache that had plagued her days since her separation papers had arrived. The ache was easing now, as she became more certain that the decision she'd reached on the flight home was the right one. "On the flight home, there was a young family sitting across the aisle from me. Two kids, and their mother and father. I watched them for a long time, and I talked to them a little. They were very nice people." Harm nodded, but she could tell he was wondering where she was going with this. "I was struck by how utterly comfortable they all were with each other. Each member of the family was a unique individual, and yet they formed this beautiful family group that was somehow more than the sum of its parts." She squeezed his hand. "I want that for us, Harm. I want to know what that feels like. And if my career is the price I have to pay for the experience, I'm okay with it." She heard his sigh of relief as he pulled her roughly into his arms. "Thank God," he said against her hair. She tilted her head to look up at him, and found his lips waiting for her. The kiss started out as a simple affirmation of their feelings, but the weeks of separation and her absolute belief in the rightness of her decision touched off an explosion that rapidly flamed out of control. Hands and lips roamed eagerly over heated skin. Buttons, zippers, and fabric either surrendered gracefully or were destroyed without compunction. A firestorm swept through the room, and when it was over, Mac found herself held close in Harm's arms, surrounded by a scattering of throw pillows, an overturned coffee table, and random pieces of clothing. Silence reigned supreme for the several minutes it took them to gain control of their breathing, and then Harm propped himself on an elbow and looked down at her, grinning ruefully as he traced her bruised lips with a gentle finger. "You know," he said, "I think I'm looking forward to fighting with my wife." "Why?" she asked, smiling back. "If this was any indicator…" He waved a hand at the war torn room. "The making up is going to be incredible." She laughed and pulled his head back down to hers. "Shut up and kiss me, Sailor." ********** Monday, August 29, 2005
"Oh?" Sturgis raised an eyebrow at her. She nodded. "They work well together when they put their heads to it. Both of them are brilliant attorneys, but they're also both stubborn, strong willed, and hopelessly independent. You'll have to be a master strategist to keep things on an even keel." Sturgis grinned. "Sounds like somebody else I know." Mac resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him. "By the way," she said. "How's Varese?" He grinned and tipped his head to her in silent acknowledgement of her tactics. "She's doing great. She was thrilled when I got transferred out here. Apparently there's a record deal in the works and it'll be easier if she lives here." "So when will we be going to your wedding?" Sturgis laughed. "Let's not jump the gun, Colonel." He pointed at the files. "Tell me about Rankin." Mac smiled and conceded, returning her attention to the work at hand. "Rankin's my best attorney, but he's being reassigned to Pearl Harbor. He'll be gone by the middle of September. He's been working on an assault case that you might want to get Vukovic involved with. He'd be a good one to take it over if the case isn't concluded before Rankin leaves." "Anything I should know about Vukovic? You've worked with him more than I have." Mac considered that for a few moments, choosing her words carefully. "Vukovic is young and inexperienced, and he has a 'win at all costs' attitude that could be dangerous if left unchecked. He's also a bit of a womanizer, so I'd suggest you keep an eye on him. He has potential, but he walks a very fine line between appropriate behavior and an ethics charge." She smiled. "If anybody can keep him in line, Sturgis, I think it'd be you." He tilted his head, giving her an odd look. "What do you mean by that?" "Just that I think you'll lead this office with the firm hand he needs." "Uh huh." "You're okay with it if Jennifer comes to London? She was only TAD here…" "I'm fine with it, Mac. I don't think she's exactly the right person to act as my petty officer anyway." Mac resisted the urge to grin. The idea of Sturgis trying to work with Jennifer Coates on a daily basis was nothing short of hilarious. A scene from an old Three Stooges movie formed in her mind, and she choked back a laugh. "Right," she said. "Well, Harm tells me his petty officer has been reassigned, and I'm sure Jen would like the chance to see Mattie again, so that should work out fine. I'll double check it with the general myself." "Right. Now. What about the rest of these files?" Sturgis waved his hand at the rather imposing stack that sat on the table between them. "Well," Mac said. "These are the active cases. Suppose we just take them from the top." She reached for the first file, flipped it open, and took a sip of water. ********** Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Harm grinned and took refuge in time zones. "Well, let's see. I flew to San Diego on Saturday, stayed there for a day, and flew back here yesterday. I think I'm allowed a little jet lag." "You're getting old." "Hey… watch yourself, young lady." Mattie laughed. "So when do we leave?" "Tomorrow morning. Are you ready?" "Yep. Got my racing wheels all polished up and ready to go." She waved a hand at the wheelchair beside the bed. "Are you and Nurse Bridgette getting along all right?" Bridgette was the young nurse recommended to him by Mattie's physical therapist. She'd be going along for the trip, at Harm's expense, to help see to Mattie's needs and to continue her therapy as well as she was able while Mattie stayed at the Roberts’s. "She's a brute when it comes to my exercises, but other than that, she's cool." Mattie grinned suddenly. "Do you know she has a tat?" "Umm… A tat?" Harm was often bewildered by the intricacies of teen speak. True to form, Mattie rolled her eyes. "A tattoo, Harm." "Ahh… Well, then no. I didn't know." "It's a phoenix." "You mean bird rising from the ashes sort of phoenix?" "Yep! You should see it. It's gorgeous." "Ahh… And where exactly is this tribute to artistic greatness?" "On her right shoulder blade. She says you can see it when she wears her swimsuit." "Uh huh. I'll look forward to it." Harm's tone was sardonic, and Mattie stuck her tongue out at him. "Right. And on that note, I need to get to the office for a while to finish up a few things before we leave. Is there anything you need before I go?" "Nope." "All right then." He bent and kissed her forehead. "I'll see you later." He waved as he went out the door, and she grinned and waved back. She really was going to be okay. ********** Wednesday, August 31, 2005 Mac slid into an empty seat in the back of the courtroom. She'd watched Davis give her impassioned sentencing recommendation yesterday afternoon, and was back now to hear the judge's decision, curious to see how it would all turn out. Davis and Gomez whispered together at the front of the room, apparently getting along for a change, and Mac breathed a sigh of relief. She was pretty sure those two were going to turn into a good team if they could only get past their stubborn pride and remember to focus on the good of their client. The judge banged her gavel once, and all chatter in the room ceased abruptly. Davis and Gomez sat up straight in their seats, eyes forward. "The defendant will please rise." Dorland stood up, Davis and Gomez on either side of him. "I've reviewed this case carefully," the judge said, glancing down at the contents of the folder in front of her. "It hasn't been an easy one to decide. On the one hand, you have the right of the individual to make a valid decision of conscience." Davis must've started to say something, because Mac saw the judge raise a warning hand. "Let me finish, Lieutenant." Judge Marin waited a moment, and then went on. "On the other hand, you have duty to your shipmates, to the UCMJ, and to the requirements of your enlistment." She looked at Dorland. "While I do not condone your actions, I understand the difficulty posed when you are ordered to fight a war you do not believe in." Mac was stunned by the judge's dispassion. Dorland had missed movement. It was as simple as that. When he joined the Navy, he should've understood that he was choosing to give up some of his individual rights in favor of duty, honor, and service to one's country. The judge went on, and Mac listened carefully. "I hereby order you to be reduced in rank to the level of seaman recruit, two months confinement at the 32nd Street Naval Station, and three months hard labor." Mac watched Dorland shake hands with the two attorneys before being escorted away by the guards. Well, she thought, so Dorland wasn't being kicked out of the Navy. Maybe, in the end, he'd get the punishment by peer Gomez had been hoping for all along. She shook her head. The judges here in San Diego seemed significantly more lenient than those she'd been used to in Falls Church. Sturgis definitely had challenges in store. Mac stayed long enough to watch Davis and Gomez gather their things, her sharp eyes catching the nuances of emotion that seemed to flow between the two younger officers. She smiled to herself. Another challenge for Commander Turner. She wished she felt close enough to Sturgis to keep in touch with him and find out how all of this turned out. She didn't, though, and Sturgis was anything but the gossipy type, so she doubted she'd ever hear another word about Doom and Gloom. Too bad. Somehow she suspected their story was going to be an interesting one. Standing, she slipped out of the courtroom as quietly as she'd come. She'd already said her goodbyes to the staff. It was time to move on. ********** Saturday, September 3, 2005
Mac turned to Harriet, suddenly nervous. "I think so." "You look gorgeous, Colonel." Mac turned to check the mirror one last time, pleased with the way the simple ivory gown draped across her shoulders and breasts before falling in a smooth flow of satin to the tops of her slippered feet. She hadn’t wanted fussy lace or girlish ruffles, preferring elegance over tradition. She'd even opted against the traditional wedding veil, settling instead for a single white orchid nestled behind her left ear. "You look beautiful, Mac." Mac smiled at Mattie. "So do you." Mattie blushed. "Thanks." Mac squatted down next to the young girl who'd done so much to help bring her and Harm together. Without Mattie, Harm might never have learned how to say the three most important words he'd ever said to her. It was Mattie who'd taught Harm that not only was it okay to love somebody, but it was also okay to let them know. "You really do look lovely, Mattie. Someday, there's going to be a young man out there who's going to see that as clearly as Harm and I do." Mattie snorted. "Not if I don't get myself out of this chair." "You will. And Harm and I will be there every step of the way." Mac took Mattie's hand in hers. "You'll never be alone again, Mattie. I promise you that." "Neither will you." Mac felt tears well in her eyes, and brushed them away. Mattie might still be a teenager, but sometimes the young woman stunned her with her maturity. "Thanks." She stood up and moved behind Mattie's wheelchair. "You ready?" "Yep." Mattie turned around and grinned up at Mac. "Let's get married." Mac and Harriet laughed, and Harriet held open the door. Mac stopped the wheelchair halfway through the door, and turned to hug Harriet. "Thanks," she whispered. Harriet gave her a quick squeeze, and then pulled back and smiled. "Anytime." She held the door for Mac and Mattie, and then followed them outside. Mac watched as first Harriet and then Mattie started down the makeshift aisle, a simple strip of deep red carpet spread over the grass between double rows of white chairs. Later, she wouldn't remember the brilliant white of his uniform, or the glint of sunshine on his gold wings. All she'd remember was the intensity of emotion that shone from his eyes and drew her toward him with magnetic force. She locked her gaze on his and started down the aisle. ****** The End ******
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