By Bob Ryan, Globe Staff, Globe Columnist, 12/14/2001
John Harrington has said all along the Red Sox must be sold to the highest qualified bidder. That's qualified bidder. He's still mostly interested in the money, but you and I have additional concerns. Oh, sure, the new owner(s) must have cavernous pockets, but he/they must also have the proper spiritual credentials before we give him/them our official okey-dokey.
So let's agree that no one gets the keys to Fenway Park unless he/they can pass the following quiz.
Do we think it was ''Go, go, go'' or ''No, no, no''? Discuss.
The last Red Sox player to steal a base was A) Jerry Remy, B) Tommy Harper, or C) ''Would you please repeat the question?''
What Red Sox pitcher thought the Indians were stupid for ''building a stadium so close to the ocean''?
''6, 2 and even.'' Discuss.
Legendary Red Sox PA announcer Sherm Feller contributed what song to the Boston Pops Christmas repertoire?
Who's funnier, Sean or Jerry?
Of what Red Sox shortstop was it written, ''His license plate should be E-6''?
Who played Jimmy Piersall's father in ''Fear Strikes Out''?
After pitching a typical 10-hit shutout, where was Bill Lee likely to unwind?
The ball Dave Kingman hit off Reggie Cleveland in September 1977 is likely to descend A) when the Red Sox win the World Series, B) in 2525, or C) the Twelfth of Never.
''Hi, neighbor, have a [fill in blank].''
What poet was most cited by Ned Martin during the extra-inning games on the West Coast?
What Red Sox pitcher routinely smoked a cigar while relaxing in the whirlpool?
The red seat. Discuss.
Why should John Updike have a lifetime pass to Fenway Park?
True or false: You can get to Fenway via the Blue Line.
It is, or it isn't, a good idea to take your Aunt Ethel to a Yankee game?
When the team was on the road, Tom Yawkey loved to A) polish Ted's shoes, B) shop at Brooks Brothers, or C) play pepper with the bat boys.
Whose picture did Dick Stuart tear up on live TV?
What (soon to be ex) general manager declared five years ago Roger Clemens to be in ''the twilight of his career''?
Who said, ''I'm the skipper of this nine''?
What car was given away a lot more often than the sponsor ever intended during the ''Home Run Inning'' in 1977?
The greatest of all Red Sox organists was A) Johann Sebastian Bach, B) Dave ''Baby'' Cortez, or C) John Kiley?
Ted Williams's thrown bat entered the stands and hit whose housekeeper?
What Red Sox player owned a bowling alley on Soldier's Field Road?
Nicky the Peanut Man gets a lifetime deal on Yawkey Way. Yes or no?
What Red Sox star once referred to his teammates as ''my associates''?
True or false? Johnny Pesky could go 2 for 4 next Opening Day if asked to.
''Darrell Johnson never should have taken out [fill in blank].''
Bob Tillman's 1967 throw to second base hit what Red Sox pitcher in the rear?
What Red Sox player stayed behind in his Toronto hotel room after discovering he was about to be dropped from sixth to seventh in the batting order?
Walter Johnson said, ''No man alive can throw harder than [fill in blank].''
Only (fill in blank) stood between the Red Sox and an infamous Yankee sweep in September 1978.
Ken ''Hawk'' Harrelson was pictured on the cover of Sports Illustrated wearing A) his Red Sox uniform, B) Bermuda shorts and a T-shirt, or C) a powder blue Nehru suit.
Jim Burton? Discuss.
What Red Sox player's prolonged batting slump earned him public sympathy from Richard Nixon?
For one month in 1951, (fill in blank) was Ted Williams, Jimmie Foxx, and Jim Rice combined.
''Playing The Field'' or ''Little Red Scooter''? Discuss.
What was Ted Williams's description of the Boston baseball writers on his final day at Fenway Park?
Did Wade Boggs really exist, or was he a clever media concoction?
Why should Jess Cain have a lifetime pass to Fenway Park?
Name one secret Helen Robinson didn't take to the grave.
True or false? If the biggest blunder the Red Sox ever made was trading Babe Ruth, allowing Jon Miller to leave town was No. 2.
Who said, ''The sun will rise, the sun will set, and I'll have lunch''?
What Red Sox player discovered his name was misspelled on his MVP plaque?
Martin and (fill in blank).
Have you ever had to use a men's room at Fenway Park?
True or false: A very large number of seats located down the right-field line at the ''lyric little bandbox of a ballpark'' are, to be blunt, terrible.
The ladder. Discuss.
If the score was 10-0 in the eighth (either way), Yaz could be found, A) chatting amiably with the fans in left, B) reading the Sporting News in the dugout, or C) heading across the Mystic Tobin Bridge.
Yes or no? The 600 Club should be turned into a getaway loft for Manny Ramirez.
Bernie Carbo's home run was much more important than Fisk's. Discuss.
What Red Sox shortstop's whistling could be heard in Kenmore Square?
Looie vs. Roger vs. Pedro. Discuss.
Who pinch hit for Ted Williams?
Who pinch hit for Jim Rice?
Denny Galehouse? Discuss.
Does the Baseball Tavern take reservations?
And by far the most important question: What is Peter Gammons's cellphone number?
Bob Ryan is a Globe columnist. His e-mail address is email@example.com.
This story ran on page C1 of the Boston Globe on 12/14/2001.
© Copyright 2001 Globe Newspaper Company.