Thoughts of an innocent

Thoughts of an innocent

by john valley_____________________________________________________________________________

you
we look at him
it is I
I see you there
You see me here
it is you
and you wonder
do you know me?

I am not you
she married me and didn’t love me
she loved me and wouldn’t marry me
but that wasn’t you
you have your own past
your own history
your own joy
your own pain
and you think I don’t care but
it’s not true

I see me standing here beside the mirror
You are my mirror
You see me standing here beside you
How can you know that I think you don’t love me?
You don’t think I know what you think—
and that’s true

but I see you watching me look at you,
and I see you wondering what I think you think
I think you know what I think
There is no one in all the world like you
with your laugh
your hair
your sweet touch

but you don’t know I think that
and you wouldn’t believe it
You think, what am I, just an ordinary person like every other
And you’re right

Who am I, that you should see me?
You stand there
and cannot know that I would reach out across this vast distance that separates you from me and me from you, to touch me
unless you do

Forget it!
You have to stand alone against the sun and the wind and the rain
No one can sweat your sweat for you
and so you leave me, free

Kill me to save yourself
but
you cannot know me except to see yourself through my eyes
so you die
not me
you see

I don’t understand—
this is true—
but neither do you

How can you love you as I do
it is not me beside you here
it is only him—
not me
not you
and he does not know you as I do