Jeeper's Humor
Hey, when you break it, ya just gotta LAUGH about it!
Please note that most of this is not original material...it's been found on the web or emailed to me by friends/family. Where I know the source, I'll give credit...if I don't know the original author, and you do, please let me know so they can get the credit they deserve! jmh
Here's a line for you from the Comedy of Flanders and Swann:
Mud, Mud - Glorious Mud!
Nothing quite like it
for chilling the blood!
So follow me, follow -
Down to the hollow!
And
there let us wallow in Glorious Mud!
From their song about the Hippopotamus - but it does seem to apply to Jeepers as well! ;-)
\\\\\/////
(O)(O)
--oOO----(__)------------
: WILL WORK FOR :
: .....Jeep
Parts .....:
:-------------------oOO-----:
|__| |__|
|~| |~|
ooO Ooo
Text Humor!
REASONS TO OWN A JEEP
1. Yo' kin open a beer bottle wif th' bumper inds.
2. Yo' kin allus find th' way back jest by follerin' th' oil drops on th' street.
3. To git waved at by feller addicks.
4. Th' name JEEP says it all when yer late agin.
5. To hoof it whar no Lan' Rovah has gone befo'e
6. It corntains 100% user serviceable parts.
7. JEEP has no ind.. It is allus unnerdevelopment.
8. Th' rainy season in Flo'ida.
9. ah can hose out th' inside af'er a fambly trip.
10. On account o' ah got mah toy train an' Connecks set t'late in life.
11. It is th' only thin' thet kin git yo' t'th' puffick fishin' spots.
12. It makes an intertainin' ride fo' Santa.
13. Yer nevah bo'ed, cuss it all t' tarnation.
14. Whenevah yer feelin' lonely yo' allus haf yer JEEP.
15. Thar is nothin' thet is a true obstacle fo' a JEEP.
16. On account o' even af'er it busts down it will still git yo' thar.
17. It is an objeck of unchangin' booty.
18. Checkin' th' oil is allus an adventure.
19. As th' Beatles sin': BECAUSE
20. On account o' fo' all right-reckonin' varmints (engineers), funckshun triumphs on over fo'm, dawgone it.
21. On account o' it takes yo' wharvah yer hankerin' t'go.
22. Like yer wife, Yer JEEP will be wif yo' fo' life.
23. Th' bumpy ride makes mah galfriend ho'ny.
24. Yer wife/galfriend will knows thet yo' haf no time fo' t'other gal.
25. Yo' knows when yo' start but yo' nevah knows when yo' arrive.
26. Itıs a great place t'invess all of thet discreshunary income.
27. Jest t'say thet yo' own/owned one.
28. It will still helter-skelter a thousan' miles wif nothin' mo'e than sardest in th' gearbox.
29. Is thar ennythin' else?
30. In a JEEP t'other car is yer crumple zone.
31. Thar is no reason, only feelin's.
32. Wif this hyar toy yo' kin play fo' hours witcher son/dotter.
33. As wif enny 4x4 yo' donıt hafta explain whuffo' yer fingernails is allus dirty.
34. It will helter-skelter on 2.5 cylinners though mud an' back t'th'house, not fast but it runs.
Bubba
Jeep Haiku
What is Haiku?
Borrowed from "FORMS IN ENGLISH HAIKU" by KEIKO IMAOKA
"Japanese haiku have been traditionally composed in 5-7-5 syllables. When poets started writing English haiku in the1950's, they adopted this 5-7-5 form, thinking it created a similar condition for English-language haiku. This style is what is generally considered "traditional" English haiku.
Over the years, however, most haiku poets in North America have become aware that 17 English syllables convey a great deal more information than 17 Japanese syllables, and have come to write haiku in fewer syllables, most often in three segments that follow a short-long-short pattern without a rigid structure. This style is called by some "free-form "haiku."
Jeep Haiku (By Me!)
Rich Mans Rover Stuck.
I am the Jeeper with Winch.
Laugh with me.
Topsey-Turvey Sky.
Wheels pointed up in
Prayer
Greasy Side Goes DOWN!
Why is ground so close?
Jeep is laying on its
side.
Laugh, crying helps not.
Seeing the Deep Mud
Through rectangular Jeep window
I forge ahead.
The Jeep was willing,
Considered your request,
But your Will was weak.
A tire that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is flat.
Traction has ceased.
I Can't tell you why or how.
Winching Begins Now.
Drivers's response
Not quick enough for His Truck.
Explorer Rolled Over.
Vehicle incorrect.
Only Real Jeepers should
consider this trail.
Jeep catches a bite
scattering mud to the wind:
Traction Exists Here
First Mud, then Rock.
This expensive locker works
so beautifully.
The Trail that is seen
Is not the true Trail, until
You bring your Jeep.
Yesterday was Muddy
Today it is still Muddy
Jeeping is like that.
To not have a Jeep
Would be life without meaning
No Jeeping, no Joy.
You Climb in Your Jeep,
and your trouble has moved on.
Your Jeep is your Zen.
Jeep, Climb Up the Hill
Jeep, Climb up the damn Hill, Jeep
Never Mind . . . We're Up.
The ten thousand posers
How long do any persist?
Jeep, though, has remained.
Serious Jeep.
All obstacles have disappeared.
Life. Jeep. Both are Good.
ABORTED Hillclimb:
Back straight down the hill.
Lock in, try again.
Without Jeeping comes loss
and the presence of absence:
My Jeep is in Shop.
A crash reduces
your expensive Lexus
to a simple stone.
Haiku From George:
The Explorer owner
Watches from the nice paved road
As Jeep conquers MudDespair reigns o'er all
Frustration and cursing follow
Chevy won't start againJeeps head to forest
Climbing rocks and crossing bogs
Explorer watchesLogistics tells all
Repairable item inop
We've got no sparesItem broke. Did it fail?
Loggies argue loud and long
Who cares? It's still broke!A world upside down
Sky replaces earth. Good thing
Jeeps come with roll bars!Give me Liberty
Or Give me Death. A true Jeep
nut prefers the death!Lift kit - four hundred
Lockers, tires, winch - one thousand
Four wheelin - priceless!Hell hath no fury
Like a Jeeper stuck in a
Ford Ex convention!Jeeper bored to tears
Been everywhere, done it all
Go get a Hummer!Go ahead. Laugh at
Jeep! You'll never get winched out
Of this deep snowbank!The Ford Explorer!
Without it, Jeepers would not
Feel so superior!An Explorer sans
Lift Kit. Inept, but at least
It fits in garage!A Jeep will always
get you home - it follows all
The gear teeth it droppedJeep tops the big hill
Smashed mirror, dented bodywork
Hill one, Jeep one! Tie!Jeeper basks on hill.
Ex owner asks WHY bother?
Jeeper can't answerLeaves everywhere
Branches, limbs, tires, muddy parts!
Jeep fell out of tree!Caravan of Jeeps
embarks from trailhead. Ford's too
afraid to fire up!Grand Waggy clobbers
Chevy Blazer. Chevy gone.
Dents waggy bumper!See Dodge. See Dodge Ram
Ram, Dodge Ram - Your Honor!
Damn that's a big truck!
Moments of Jeep Zen
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to sneak from the
house to do some four wheeling, that's the time to do it.
Never test the depth of the water with both front wheels.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
It is far more impressive when others discover your good wheeling qualities without your help.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try holding up an entire trailride
because you insisted on taking a "4" rated trail in a stock Jeep...
Take a man Jeeping and he'll have fun for a Day. Teach him how to Wheel, and he will spend his checkbook dry.
If you lend someone $20, and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
There are two theories to arguing with women about money for Jeep Modifications... Neither one works.
And now, some Jeep Humor from an Explorer owner...
(Please note: The comments listed below are not those of this Webauthor!)
How many Jeepers does it take to extract a Jeep from a mud puddle? About 20 - and another 50 or so to hold back the Explorer owners who keep throwing in more mud!
Why did the Jeeper cross the road? To try out the mud on the other side!
Why do Jeepers look up to Explorer owners? You pretty much look up to everyone when you've sunk up to your neck in muck!
How many Jeepers does it take to change a light bulb? About 20 - 15 to set up the winch and tow straps to drag it out of the mud, 4 to push and eventually one to dig out the light bulb and change it.
Why do Jeepers not tell their mothers they drive Jeeps? Because Mom thinks they hang around cathouses in their spare time and why disappoint them!
What do you call a field full of rusted out Jeeps? A good start!
Why doesn't the sun ever set on the mighty Jeep? Because it enjoys a good laugh as much as the rest of us!
How's that? That oughta PO you hard core Jeepers! I'll be hiding under the desk now! ||||||||:-)
Humor Links!
PhunnyPhotos
Updated: 28 May 2002
ME!