Dog Quotes

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
-Ann Landers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
-Will Rogers

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
-M. Acklam

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
-Sigmund Freud

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-Rita Rudner

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
-Robert Benchley

Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.
-Dave Barry

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P.. Jones

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
-James Thurber

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
-Unknown

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
-Joe Weinstein

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
-Anne Tyler

"If a dog will not come to you after he has looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."
-Woodrow Wilson

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
-Groucho Marx

Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.
-Dave Miliman

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man
-Mark Twain

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
-Dave Barry

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger Caras

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
-Phil Pastoret

"Never stand between a dog and the hydrant."
-John Peers

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
-Dave Barry

"My dog is half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a guard dog, but a vicious gossip."
-Craig Shoemaker

"They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many friends have you had neutered?"
-Larry Reeb

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