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Return to Longbourn
Mary and Elizabeth
were playing in Mrs. Parks' room when Anne de Bourgh entered.
"Mary, (cough) might I speak with Miss Elizabeth for a few
moments?"
Mary gave her sister
a knowing look. "I shall take a stroll about the rose garden,
shall I?"
"I will join
you there soon, Mary." Mrs. Collins stepped out the room,
leaving the two women alone. Elizabeth was at the pianoforte,
looking uncomfortable. Anne saw her discomfort but began directly.
"Miss Elizabeth,
I am to understand that you have refused my cousin. (sniff) May
I ask why?"
Elizabeth was beyond
shocked. "Miss de Bourgh," she was able to utter after
a few moments, "I do not know where you could have heard
such a thing."
"From a very
reliable source." Richard told her of the event as soon
as he was able, after seeking aid for his injured jaw. "It
is within your rights not to confirm this information, but I
had hoped that our friendship would have given us some level
of intimacy (cough)."
Elizabeth would
not look at the girl. "You may rest assured that I am not
engaged to Mr. Darcy."
Anne frowned. "That
is unfortunate; I thought you well suited for one another."
At Elizabeth's astonishment, she continued, "You must not
put too much book into my mother's schemes. Darcy is very dear
to me, (sniff) as my friend and cousin. While Lady Catherine
may wish for a union between Rosings and Pemberley, neither Darcy
nor I want a closer relationship. (cough) We are too similar
for us to achieve the happiness we desire in marriage with each
other. Taciturn, shy and serious, we need partners that will
lighten our moods, not sober it. I am only interested in his
happiness." And mine; if I can get Darcy married, Mother
may look elsewhere for a union. And where better than Matlock?
"I know you admired him to some extent. Why have you
refused him?"
"Miss de Bourgh,
that must remain between Mr. Darcy and myself."
"Headstrong,
obstinate girl! Can you not see that I am trying to help you?
(cough, cough, cough) You have surely discussed this with your
sisters! Will you not confide in someone who can tell you of
Darcy's character? Are you so in love with your opinions that
you cannot have them challenged? (cough)" Miss de Bourgh
was furious. "Perhaps it is for the best; perhaps you are
not good enough for him!" She turned to walk out the door.
Elizabeth shot back,
"So you think him perfect, do you?"
The lady stopped
and then slowly turned back with a smile on her face. "So
he insulted you, did he? I should have known. (sniff) How did
he do it?" Elizabeth looked down into her hands. Miss de
Bourgh joined her on the bench. "Come, my friend, tell me
what the lovable fool did."
Sighing, Elizabeth
told her of Darcy's interference with Jane and Bingley. Her reaction
was volatile. "Oh, Darcy, you fool! Shall you never learn
that you cannot fix everything? (cough)" She gave Elizabeth
a sad smile. "Miss Bennet, my unfortunate cousin is unswerving
in his devotion to his family and friends. There is nothing he
would not do to protect them, even from themselves. If one is
among those he loves, he will be their Champion forever. Unfortunately,
he is also aware of his excellent brain and abilities. He is
constantly trying to make better what needs repair, whither the
recipient wants his aid or not. (sniff) Richard and I have warned
him of his tendency to involve himself in matters that are better
left alone, and he means well, but…" she shrugged.
"Perhaps he has finally learned his lesson. Did he not say
he would correct his mistake?"
Elizabeth nodded.
She was amazed at Miss de Bough's kindness and support.
"Then you can
be as sure of his actions as you are that the sun will rise tomorrow.
I hope that gives your sister some relief. (sniff) Surely, that
is not all."
She then told her
of Wickham's allegations. "I know them now to be untrue,
and I am heartily sorry for taking his side. You had warned Mary;
I should have believed her."
Miss de Bourgh looked
at her strangely. "How much did Darcy tell you?" She
explained that he had told her of Wickham's history with the
family, leaving out Miss Darcy. "Is that all?"
"No; but I
must decline saying further."
Miss de Bourgh gasped.
"He told you about Ramsgate? (cough)"
"You know about
that?"
"Yes."
Richard had told her. "But you must say nothing about this
to mother! (cough, cough) She has always questioned Darcy's raising
of Georgiana; should she become aware of this she would stop
at nothing to take her away. (sniff)" She shook her head.
"He must trust you, indeed! How could he make such a mess
if it?"
Elizabeth looked
down. "He was not kind in speaking about my family."
Miss de Bourgh took
her hand with a pitting look. "I cam image what he said.
Poor, poor fool. He was trying to impress you with his struggles;
with what he was giving up, I suppose. I can just hear him. (sniff)
Oh, Darcy, you are your own worse enemy."
Elizabeth had to
admit, "Not everything he said was untrue; though it was
uttered with little grace."
"Mary has told
me of your family; of your mother and sisters. I cannot judge,
with a mother such as mine. (cough)" She paused. "How
long had you known of Darcy's actions with regards with your
sister?"
"Only a few
hours - Colonel Fitzwilliam mentioned it in passing while we
were walking the grounds."
Anne spurted. "What?
(cough, cough) In passing? Was…was Miss Bennet in attendance?"
Elizabeth nodded.
Good Lord! "He said that in front of Jane?!?
Why on earth for?!? (cough)"
"He believed
it was a story worth repeating. He thought it reflected well
on Mr. Darcy."
Anne paled. This
was Richard's idea of praising Darcy? "Oh! I will wring
his blasted, beautiful neck when next we meet! (cough, cough)"
"Miss de Bourgh…?"
Anne took Elizabeth's
hands in hers. "I am afraid that this is (sniff) partially
my fault, Miss Elizabeth."
"Yours?"
"I asked the
colonel to…(sniff)…we wanted to impress you…oh,
this is mortifying!" She looked away in humiliation.
Elizabeth looked
upon the heiress in wonder. "You have been trying to match
me with Mr. Darcy?"
"I…I am
afraid so. (cough) But I knew nothing of Darcy's advice to Mr.
Bingley! I am sorry, Miss Elizabeth. (cough)"
Elizabeth looked
upon Miss de Bourgh. Her sorrow and embarrassment was obvious.
She remembered Jane's kindness and said, "Thank you. I am
sure you meant well."
"We thought
you two well suited - we meant everything good, I assure you."
She looked up. "Darcy did say he would explain everything
to Bingley. Everything will soon be right. Miss Elizabeth, Darcy
is his own man. If he decided to ask for you, you can be sure
that he valued you above all else. Will you not give him another
chance?"
"My abuses
of him must preclude any renewal of his addresses." Do
I want him to ask again? I shouldn't; my feelings are not what
they ought; and yet, why do I feel so unsettled?
"I am sure
he deserved it. (cough) What a muddle. Oh, what fools we mortals
be!"
~~~~}+{~~~~
"I assure you,
I feel it exceedingly,'' said Lady Catherine; "I believe
nobody feels the loss of friends so much as I do. But I am particularly
attached to these young men; and know them to be so much attached
to me! They were excessively sorry to go! But so they always
are. The dear colonel rallied his spirits tolerably till just
at last; but Darcy seemed to feel it most acutely, more I think
than last year. His attachment to Rosings, certainly increases.''
She leered in Anne's general direction, which caused distress
in four ladies' hearts.
"However, I
must see to the doorknobs. Darcy had the most unfortunate accident."
"Is that so,
Lady Catherine?" asked Mary.
"Indeed! He
came down to breakfast the day he and the Colonel departed with
the most shocking damage to his eye! He said he had slipped and
struck his face against the knob of his bedroom door on his way
to the floor. Most singular! I must replace the knobs at once!"
"Of course,
Lady Catherine!" cried her parson. "A person of your
standing cannot have inferior hardware polluting the shades of
Rosings!"
"Umm…my
dear Lady Catherine…" said Mary, "Might it be
more economical to see to the rug beside his door? Surely that
was the cause of his mishap."
"Perhaps, perhaps…the
rug shall certainly be looked to. But I cannot have decorations
that injure my guests! The knobs shall certainly be replaced!"
Her tone signaled that the discussion was over.
Lady Catherine observed,
after dinner, that the Miss Bennets seemed out of spirits; and
immediately accounting for it herself, by supposing that they
did not like to go home again so soon, she added, "But if
that is the case, you must write to your mother to beg that you
may stay a little longer. Mrs. Collins will be very glad of your
company, I am sure.''
"I am much
obliged to your ladyship for your kind invitation,'' replied
Jane, "but it is not in our power to accept it. We must
be home next Saturday.''
"Why, at that
rate, you will have been here only six weeks. I expected you
to stay two months. I told Mrs. Collins so before you came. There
can be no occasion for your going so soon. Mrs. Bennet could
certainly spare you both for another fortnight.''
Elizabeth spoke
up. "But our father cannot. He wrote last week to hurry
our return.''
"Oh! Your father
of course may spare you, if your mother can. Daughters are never
of so much consequence to a father," she dismissed her words
with a wave of her fan. In a voice that declared she was giving
the greatest of gifts, Lady Catherine proclaimed, "And if
you will stay another month complete, it will be in my power
to take one of you as far as London, for I am going there early
in June, for a week; there will be very good room for one of
you - and indeed, if the weather should happen to be cool, I
should not object to taking you both, as you are neither of you
large.''
Anne blushed at
her mother's ill breeding as Jane responded, "You are all
kindness, Madam; but I believe we must abide by our original
plan.''
Lady Catherine seemed
resigned. "Mrs. Collins, you must send a servant with them.
You know I always speak my mind, and I cannot bear the idea of
two young women traveling post by themselves. It is highly improper.
You must contrive to send somebody. I have the greatest dislike
in the world to that sort of thing. Young women should always
be properly guarded and attended, according to their situation
in life. I am excessively attentive to all those things."
"My father
is to send a servant for us.''
"Oh! He keeps
a man, does he? I am very glad you have somebody who thinks of
those things. Where shall you change horses? Bromley, of course.
If you mention my name at the Bell, you will be attended to.''
~~~~}+{~~~~
Reflection must
be reserved for solitary hours; whenever Elizabeth was alone,
she gave way to it as the greatest relief; and not a day went
by without a solitary walk, in which she might indulge in all
the delight of unpleasant recollections.
Mr. Darcy's letter,
she was in a fair way of soon knowing by heart. She studied every
sentence, and her feelings towards its writer were at times widely
different. When she remembered the style of his address, she
was still full of indignation; but when she considered how unjustly
she had condemned and upbraided him, her anger was turned against
herself; and his disappointed feelings became the object of compassion.
His attachment excited gratitude, his general character respect;
but she could not for a moment repent her refusal, no matter
how Miss de Bourgh sang his praises.
In her own past
behavior, there was a constant source of vexation and regret;
and in the unhappy defects of her family a subject of yet heavier
chagrin. They were hopeless of remedy. Her father, contented
with laughing at them, would never exert himself to restrain
the wild giddiness of his youngest daughters; and her mother,
with manners so far from right herself, was entirely insensible
of the evil. Elizabeth had frequently united with Jane in an
endeavor to check the imprudence of Kitty and Lydia; but while
they were supported by their mother's indulgence, what chance
could there be of improvement? Kitty, weak-spirited, irritable,
and completely under Lydia's guidance, had been always affronted
by their advice; and Lydia, self-willed and careless, would scarcely
give them a hearing. They were ignorant, idle, and vain. While
there was an officer in Meryton, they would flirt with him; and
while Meryton was within a walk of Longbourn, they would be going
there forever.
Anxiety on Jane's
behalf was another prevailing concern, and Mr. Darcy's explanation,
by restoring Bingley to all her former good opinion, heightened
the sense of what Jane had lost. His affection was proved to
have been sincere, and his conduct cleared of all blame, unless
any could attach to the implicitness of his confidence in his
friend. How grievous then was the thought that, of a situation
so desirable in every respect, so replete with advantage, so
promising for happiness, Jane had been deprived, by the folly
and indecorum of her own family!
When to these recollections
was added the development of Wickham's character, it may be easily
believed that the happy spirits which had seldom been depressed
before, were now so much affected as to make it almost impossible
for her to appear tolerably cheerful.
~~~~}+{~~~~
The day for leaving
was upon them, and to the ladies' surprise a representative from
Rosings was in attendance to see them off. "Farewell, Miss
Bennet; Miss Elizabeth, (sniff)" said Anne de Bourgh. "I
hope to see you soon again at Rosings Park. (cough) I beg leave
to write to you." The Bennet sisters assured the heiress
that they would be happy to correspond with her.
Mr. Collins was
beside himself. "Such an honor! I hope, my sisters, you
appreciate what condensation that has been offered to you by
the generous heart of the daughter of my most noble patroness,
Lady Catherine de Bourgh!"
"I am sure
that they do, Mr. Collins," said his wife. "Please
see to the coachman; I believe he is in need of your supervision."
With her husband so occupied, Mary was able to speak freely with
her sisters. "Jane, Lizzy - thank you for coming. It is
said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. If that is so,
I fear that my heart will break for missing you! Please write
to me as often as you can." She kissed them both, and none
were without tears. "Courage, my loves - all will be right
soon. Trust in the goodness of our Lord. Goodbye, goodbye!"
The party waved as the coach rolled away.
The two sat in some
silence as they considered the events of the last six weeks.
Finally Elizabeth broke the quiet. "Jane, Mr. Darcy said
he was to speak to Mr. Bingley. Surely he will be coming back
to Netherfield. I am persuaded he will come to see you."
"Perhaps,"
said Jane quietly. "And you - what do you think of Mr. Darcy
now, after your conversation with Miss de Bourgh?"
Elizabeth could
not say, for she did not know. Instead, "What I think of
Mr. Darcy is neither here nor there. Our interview must forever
quash whatever tender feeling he may have held for my person.
I am content. But I do not bear him any grudges, Jane, truely;
I only hope his pain is of short duration, and that he may find
his happiness." Yes; did he not say that his temper is
unforgivable? That once his good opinion is lost it is gone forever?
Elizabeth turned to her sister. "There is one point on which
I want your advice before we reach home. I want to be told whether
we ought, or ought not, to make our acquaintance in general understand
Wickham's character.''
Janet paused a little
and then replied, "Surely there can be no occasion for exposing
him so dreadfully. What is your own opinion?''
"That it ought
not to be attempted. Mr. Darcy has not authorized us to make
his communication public. Miss de Bourgh seemed shocked that
I knew; and begged me to keep it from her mother. On the contrary,
every particular relative to his sister was meant to be kept
as much as possible to ourselves; and if we endeavor to undeceive
people as to the rest of his conduct, who will believe us? Wickham
will soon be gone; and there is an end to it and him! At present
I will say nothing about it.''
"You are quite
right," Jane agreed. "To have his errors made public
might ruin him forever. He is now perhaps sorry for what he has
done, and anxious to reestablish a character. We must not make
him desperate.''
~~~~}+{~~~~
The usual chaos
awaited them at home. Lydia and Kitty met the carriage at Bromley,
waving out of the inn's window. They had brought money to buy
luncheon, but had spent it all on bonnets and ribbons. Once packed
into the carriage, the two longer girls squealed and argued the
entire way home. The only news they brought was that Miss King
was safe; her uncle in Liverpool had recalled her there, and
Mr. Wickham was again free as a bird.
"I am sure
that Wickham never cared three straws about her," claimed
Lydia. "Who could about such a nasty little freckled thing?''
Hurrah for Miss
King! thought Elizabeth.
Her joy was tempered
by the fact that the Militia was removing to Brighton, and that
Mr. Bennet had not seen fit to accompany them thence. "Lizzy,
pray speak to Papa about letting us all go to Brighton! He is
being so disagreeable about it! But he listens to you. We must
go to Brighton!"
The thought of Wickahm
being far away from Hertfordshire was agreeable to two occupants
in the carriage. "Lydia, do not beg me to go to Father;
for if I do I shall certainly advise him that we not go to Brighton."
The next five miles
were very unpleasant.
The party eventually
made it to the homestead with further incident. They were greeted
emotionally by their mother ("Oh; you are both home again,
yet unmarried! Oh my nerves!") and briefly by their father
("I am glad you are come back, Lizzy; and you, Jane. Very
glad indeed.").
It was two days
before they learned of a scheme by which Lydia would remove to
Brighton with the Militia in the company of Colonel Forster's
very young wife. Elizabeth decided to speak to her father.
She represented
to him all the improprieties of Lydia's general behavior, the
little advantage she could derive from the friendship of such
a woman as Mrs. Forster, and the probability of her being yet
more imprudent with such a companion at Brighton, where the temptations
must be greater than at home.
He heard her attentively,
and then said, "Lydia will never be easy till she has exposed
herself in some public place or other, and we can never expect
her to do it with so little expense or inconvenience to her family
as under the present circumstances.''
"If you were
aware,'' said Elizabeth, "of the very great disadvantage
to us all, which must arise from the public notice of Lydia's
unguarded and imprudent manner; nay, which has already arisen
from it, I am sure you would judge differently in the affair.''
"Already arisen!''
repeated Mr. Bennet, chuckling. "What, has she frightened
away some of your lovers? Such squeamish youths as cannot bear
to be connected with a little absurdity are not worth a regret.
Come, let me see the list of the pitiful fellows who have been
kept aloof by Lydia's folly.''
Elizabeth blushed.
"Indeed you are mistaken - I have no such injuries to resent.
It is not of peculiar, but of general evils which I am now complaining.
Our importance, our respectability in the world, must be affected
by the wild volatility, the assurance and disdain of all restraint
which mark Lydia's character. If you, my dear father, will not
take the trouble of checking her exuberant spirits, and of teaching
her that her present pursuits are not to be the business of her
life, she will soon be beyond the reach of amendment. Her character
will be fixed, and she will, at sixteen, be the most determined
flirt that ever made herself and her family ridiculous! In this
danger Kitty is also comprehended. She will follow wherever Lydia
leads. Vain, ignorant, idle, and absolutely uncontrolled! Oh,
my dear father, can you suppose it possible that they will not
be censured and despised wherever they are known?''
Mr. Bennet saw that
her whole heart was in the subject; and affectionately taking
her hand, said in reply, "Do not make yourself uneasy, my
love. Wherever you and Jane are known, you must be respected
and valued; and you will not appear to less advantage for having
a couple of - or I may say, three - very silly sisters."
Elizabeth flushed
at her father's cruel judgment of Mary. She was uncertain of
the root of her improved opinion of her sister; she did not know
if was because of her becoming Mrs. Collins or if it was a result
of spending more time with her. Whatever the cause, Elizabeth
now would never call Mrs. Collins silly.
Her father continued.
"We shall have no peace at Longbourn if Lydia does not go
to Brighton. Colonel Forster is a sensible man, and will keep
her out of any real mischief; and she is luckily too poor to
be an object of prey to anybody. The officers will find women
better worth their notice, mark my words. Let us hope, therefore,
that her being there may teach her of own insignificance. At
any rate, she cannot grow many degrees worse without authorizing
us to lock her up for the rest of her life!" He chuckled
at his own jest.
With this answer
Elizabeth was forced to be content, and she left him disappointed
and sorry.
~~~~}+{~~~~
It might well be
imaged that with her quiet demeanor and sanguine disposition
Jane Bennet was not a young lady who felt deeply. Of course,
the reverse was the truth.
She was deeply shocked
that Mr. Darcy had convinced Mr. Bingley of her supposed indifference;
shocked enough to be angry as well as broken-hearted. Mr. Darcy's
unexpected letter and apology had done away with her anger for
that gentleman, but the contents of her letter - and Elizabeth's,
too - had affected Jane far more than anyone had ever guessed.
Mr. Darcy's observations
of her family's conduct had unearthed feelings Jane had not known
she possessed. She saw the justice in his charges; her mother
and younger sisters could be mortifying in the extreme. As she
was not her father's favorite, she readily accepted that his
caustic wit could be found to be offensive to others, as it had
been to herself countless times.
All her life, Jane
submerged her occasional negative feelings for her family's actions,
telling herself that love must be unconditional. With the cold
light of day shining strongly on those emotions, she saw that
she had been ill-served by this inclination. Hiding negative
emotions led to camouflaging positive ones, too, when they grew
too strong. No wonder an observant man like Mr. Darcy would so
misconstrue her attachment to Mr. Bingley.
A resolution was
made: no longer would Jane hide from her own feelings.
Thus liberated,
she was able to consider her family in an unbiased light. What
she saw gave her little comfort. Her father's refusal to heed
Lizzy's warnings about Lydia and Brighton only proved his unsuitability
as a parent. Someone had to be a responsible person; and since
her mother was hopeless, that someone had to be the eldest child
- herself.
Jane frowned as
she recalled her relationship with Mary. They had never been
close before Mary's marriage to Mr. Collins. For all the love
Jane had for her family, she had reserved her affection for Elizabeth.
In Kent, as Jane got to know Mary better, she liked Mary better.
There was a lesson there.
Kitty had long been
under the spell of Lydia, and she was her mother's daughter.
Pretty, frivolous, silly, unfeeling for anyone but herself, Lydia
was a dangerous example for someone as easily led as Kitty. Jane's
experience with Mary showed that a little attention could go
a long way. If neither her mother nor her father would be a parent
to Kitty, Jane would take the girl in hand. It was her duty as
the eldest.
Jane sat alone with
her thoughts in the garden a fortnight after her return from
Kent, as was her occupation of late, when approaching steps caught
her attention. She was only slightly surprised at the sight of
Mr. Bingley walking with purpose towards her. She rose as he
greeted her with, "Miss Bennet! I am happy - very happy
to find you unoccupied today."
Jane, true to her
character, submerged her turbulent feelings; but remained fully
aware of them. "I am happy to see you again. Mr. Bingley.
It has been some time."
"Yes."
The man was in a state of agitation. "Yes - we have not
met since the ball at Netherfield on the 26th of November. It
has been above five months, at least!"
"I believe
you are correct." Jane was surprised he knew the exact date;
a date she knew by heart. "Shall we go inside? My mother
would be very pleased by your company."
"Of course…but
may I have a private moment with you first?" At Jane's startled
expression, he added, "I must explain my absence from Hertfordshire."
Jane nodded; she
could not speak for the world.
"Miss Bennet,
I must tell you that when I was last in Hertfordshire I found
your company to be most enjoyable. Indeed, I may safely say that
the weeks I spent here were the happiest days of my life. After
the ball November last, my family and I removed to out town house
in London, as we were to spend Christmas there. In London, people
that are very close to me - people in whose judgment I have trusted
in the past - came to me with their concerns for my happiness.
I was led to believe that they had it on good authority that
I was misinformed as to the depth of our acquaintance; that they
were convinced of your indifference to me. This was distressing
news, indeed! As I had no reason at the time to doubt the sincerity
of their concerns, I gave their opinions far more weight than
I ought. But do not think that my thoughts were of a resentful
nature! Oh, no! I stayed away from Netherfield for your sake;
so that I would no longer injure you with my attentions. Through
my disappointment I believed I thought of nothing but you.
"It is only
within the last few days that I have learned that I have been
misinformed. You cannot know of my happiness to be made aware
that my friends were mistaken; and you should know that I felt
most severely for the mortification you must have endured. You
believed that I had abandoned you, I am sure. How could you feel
anything else? I am ashamed. I resolved to come to Longbourn
as soon as may be done to offer to you this explanation and apology.
Dear Miss Bingley - please forgive this trusting fool. I shall
never fail you again."
Jane could not look
at Mr. Bingley during this declaration. She fought with her doubts.
How shall I deal with this? Oh, my nerves! At the end
of his speech she forced herself to raise her head. The earnest,
eager expression on Mr. Bingley's face settled everything in
her mind. She began to speak:
"Mr. Bingley,
I thank you for your apology. It is accepted. I am not unaware
of the facts you have relayed. Mr. Darcy, whom I met in Kent,
confessed his role in this matter." As Bingley started to
speak, she held up her hand. "Do not fear on his part. He
apologized for his actions; an apology I would be happy to accept
if I felt that he had anything to apologize for. He was only
looking out for the best interest of his particular friend, and
acted with only your happiness in mind. In a like situation,
I should not in any particulars act differently. He also promised
to correct his mistake. You being here is evidence that he has
kept his word. Mr. Darcy remains my friend."
Bingley smiled slightly.
"I am glad to hear it."
"So, Mr. Bingley,
I do forgive you. Was there anything else you wished to discuss,
or shall we now go inside?"
Bingley started;
Jane's voice was colder than he had ever heard it before. He
had to hear her warmth again. He pressed on. "Miss Bennet,
I believe you misunderstand me. I am glad you bear Darcy no animosity,
though I remain disappointed in him; at least for a little while.
However, as he had already a blackened eye, I saw no reason to
complete the pair." His jest fell on deaf ears. "I
hope I have eased what hurt you have suffered and that we shall
be as we were."
Jane could bear
no more. "Sir, I must ask: what are your intentions?"
Bingley blinked.
Could she not know? "Miss Bennet, you must know that
my intentions are entirely honorable. Miss Bennet…my dear
Miss Bennet…please…please allow me to ask that I may
court you. Let me prove my regard for you. I know my heart now.
Will you let me demonstrate my affection?"
Jane closed her
eyes as Bingley took her hand. Her mind was in a whirl. She reached
for the control she utilized when she was embarrassed by her
mother's thoughtlessness, her father's neglect, her sisters'
silliness and, occasionally, Lizzy's impertinence.
"Mr. Bingley,
you may call upon me if you wish - I have no objection to your
company. But I beg that you do not speak to my father about an
official courtship. I feel that I must tell you that I doubt
that you will be successful in your suit."
Bingley was so flabbergasted
he forgot himself. "W…what? Do you say he will refuse
me?"
Jane flushed - she
would have to be explicit. She looked off into nothingness. "Mr.
Bingley, I enjoy your company." More than any other man
of my acquaintance. "However, I require more than easy
manners and an open countenance in the companion of my future
life. That person must be a reliable and useful man, one that
I and my progeny may rely upon. I do not wish for my security
to be dependant upon the will and opinions of others." She
closed her eyes; she would have to be brutal. "I will marry
one man - not two."
Bingley could not
believe his ears. "You…you do not love me?"
Jane turned to him,
tears running down her beautiful face. "I said nothing of
love, Mr. Bingley… but…but one cannot live on love!"
With that, the lady leapt to her feet and ran into the house.
Bingley watched
helplessly as Jane fled into the house. His mind could take in
nothing except the despair that filled his breast. His Jane -
his angel - had rejected him. He could do nothing but sadly mount
his horse and ride slowly back to Netherfield, observed by no
one except for a distraught Elizabeth Bennet from her bedroom
window.
~~~~}+{~~~~
Jane expected the
knock on her door. "Come in, Lizzy."
Elizabeth peeked
around the door. "Jane? Are you well?" She moved over
to her sister and took her outstretched hand. "I…I
could not help but see your interview with Mr. Bingley. I am
so sorry."
Jane nodded. "I
assumed you did. You seem to know everything that happens about
Longbourn, sister."
Elizabeth flushed.
"I assure you I was not spying on you, Jane!"
No - you were
spying on Mr. Bingley.
"I believe you, Lizzy. And I am glad you are here."
Elizabeth sat on
the bed. "Do you wish to speak of it?"
Jane sighed as she
looked away. "I suppose so. Mr. Bingley came to apologize
and to ask to court me. I accepted the first and declined the
second."
Elizabeth was intently
confused. "You…forgave him…yet rejected him?"
Jane nodded. "Oh, Jane, why? Does not his actions speak
of his attachment to you?"
Jane began to weep.
"Yes, it does. I believe he loves me, Lizzy."
"I do not understand!"
"Lizzy - there
is more to this than our feelings!" Jane's color and emotions
were higher than Elizabeth had ever seen before. "A marriage
may be sweet words and caresses in the night. But it is also
about providing for a roof over our heads and food on our table.
And…a gentleman with an estate has many responsibilities,
besides. Do not use our father as a guide, sister. You know what
we do for him. If we did not help him with his correspondence,
I fear to know what condition Longbourn would have fallen into."
Elizabeth blushed
as she looked into her lap. It was painful to be reminded again
of her father's failings. "But Jane, you do not think Mr.
Bingley is of the same temperament as Father."
"I do not know!
All I know is that he does nothing without Mr. Darcy's guidance!"
At Elizabeth's look she added, "Please, I do not blame Mr.
Darcy for this. I believe he means to be helpful to his friend.
But he cannot - should not - do that forever. Mr. Bingley must
know his own mind and be his own master." Her tears redoubled.
"Or he is no husband for me!"
She fell into Elizabeth's
lap, inconsolable. Her sister could do nothing except hold her,
her own thoughts in disarray.
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