Once upon a time there was a Samurai warrior named Bob. He lived all alone in a little ramshackle pagoda with his three dogs, five cats, two horses, six chickens, eight garden snakes, ten hippopotamuses, seven panda bears, four clams, and one ass named Sassafrass. One day, Samurai Bob was practicing his samuraiing out on the lawn. He parried here, thrust there, and hi-y'ed 'til he could hi-ya no more. At long last, he sat down on a stump 'neath the shade of the willow tree and gazed off into the heavens. As the clouds swirled their way across the sky, he fancied he spied the shape of a dove in the cirrocumulus high above. Oh, how beautiful! When the dove shat upon his head, however, he realized it wasn't just a shape in the clouds, and then it wasn't so beautiful anymore.

"Oh, is there nothing more to life than all this violence and bloodshed?" sighed Samurai Bob into the evening air. "For what do I live this lonely life? For whom do I parry and hi-ya 'til the wee hours o' the morn? Surely, there must be something more!"

Just then, Sumo Larry came walking up the rustic little pathway that led to Samurai Bob's pagoda.

"Salutations, Samurai Bob!" called Sumo Larry.

"Greetings, Sumo Larry!" replied Samurai Bob. "What brings you 'round these here parts?"

"Oh, just out for a stroll. Come, walk with me, my friend; take a rest from your samuraiing."

"Well, don't mind if I do!"

And so, together, they walked for hours on end, uphill and down, around and around, 'til at last they could walk no more. When at last they looked at their surroundings, they found that they had wandered within sight of the coast. Gathering the last of their strength, they trudged the rest of the distance to shore and gazed out over the ocean. They both stood in awed silence for several moments.

"Wow. It's so vast," exclaimed Sumo Larry at last.

"Yes, Sumo Larry! This is the most beautiful of the beautiful sights I have ever laid my eyes upon!" yodeled Samurai Bob as he frolicked in the surf. "I have found my energy renewed by the gloriousness of the sea!"

Sumo Larry, his heart swelling, joined Samurai Bob in his joy and leaped alongside him o'er the beach. Together, they created such a noise that one could hardly hear the roar of the ocean!

Or was it the ocean?

Just then, Donkey Kong and Mothra erupted from the belly of the sea, clawing and tearing at one another.

Unfortunately, in their delightful play, Samurai Bob and Sumo Larry failed to notice the two beasts and went on prancing in the waves.

With one final, crushing blow, Donkey Kong flung Mothra over his head and smashed him to the earth, right on top of the two friends.

And the moral of the story is: never play in the ocean without a life preserver.