Blind Lake Summary (Fishtrap)

September 17, 2005

Charles Phreaking Steinbauer, Mr. Bass for the seventeenth time. Not this year. That would be a record. But he is Boss Hog for 2005. Chas put together a solid, consistent year in edging out son Nate by a few points. Of course it doesn’t hurt when geek Dennis’ fancy computer drawing program sends you out first every tournament. In any case, congrats Chas on a great year. Now that I’ve got that out of the way, you’re back to slug status.

Fishtrap basically sucked but at least I got to interview a couple of different people for a change. The winner, from the team of Johanson and Johanson, was the guy with the smile that only an undertaker could remove, both for winning the tournament and also kicking his brother’s ASS for the year, was Don Johanson . Don’s bag of six fish weighed 10-4, which is pretty pathetic, but still better than anyone else could do. Don caught only six fish, all on docks, with black/blue jigs, fishing behind the aforementioned Mr. Bass. No small feat. Don also dumped a three at the boat when the landing net in Chuck’s boat mysteriously got tangled up. Nice job Don. I still can’t figure out how you guys can pull fish out from under dicks with spincasting tackle and their one to one retrieve ratio. Second place went to another guy that had a damn good season, Mark Munson. Mark’s six fish came in just two ounces shy of Don at 10-2. Mark also had the tournament lunker of 3-13, which is also pathetic, but hey, the pay’s the same, ten Tanquery tonics. Mark, too, caught only six fish all day. One was on a black spinnerbait (now there’s one I haven’t written about all year), and all the rest on black/blue jigs. The lunker was caught in cane, two came from reeds, two from docks, and one from a piece of timber on Shamineau that Mark caught on Friday. Third place went to Ludenia with a bag that weighed 9-12. Unlike others, he caught more than six fish but only weighed in eight. His big fish came on a Horny Toad (which probably should be dubbed the Bill Rig) in the slop. He also took about six on the infamous flats tossing a jig/craw and another three on the weedline with a tube. Based on his prefishing he said he really expected to do better but, hey, shit happens. Congratulations to you all.

SHORTS! ( or thoughts as I reviewed the soon to be classic “The Diary of Ann Skank”)

Is anyone as torqued off as I am that the Indy Racing League is whacking eight weeks and three races off of next year’s schedule?

Henning Lanes is looking for bowlers to fill out their fall leagues so I would expect a few of you keglers to be dialing them right up.

Watching our group at weigh-ins reminds me of the story of Prometheus who was chained up in the Caucasus by Zeus where an eagle or a vulture (controversy rages over which bird it actually was) would come down and eat his liver every day. I’m thinking with our group it would probably take like a condor to handle the job.

Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man.

Contrary to what we all thought was happening, Herman assures me that he was just trying to help the sheep over the fence.

Special congrats to our Challenge Cup team for finishing third in the recent outing at Sylvan. Actually, we got our collective ASSES whipped. There were only three teams. Adam H., again, produced better than anyone on our team and is, quite frankly, getting pissed that he gets no support. As I mentioned to a few folks, five of our six guys were over fifty and I don’t believe the other two clubs have anyone that age. They’re certainly weenies when it comes to beer drinking, though. We sure taught them a thing or two.

Our Dolt-of –the-Year award is not going well. Fortunately I write this crap so I’m not in the running. In an unprecedented move, we may nominate someone from another club. Billy Bongs, at the recent state tournament on Le Homme Dieu was driving his boat on the water from the bar to their resort when he drove it up onto a swimming raft. It’s actually a rare double-dolt (like Checkbook). First he drives it on to the raft and second he tells us about it. And yes, brain cells were harmed in that maneuver.

On a personal note, I can’t thank Art Becker, who was supposed to be my partner on the Blind, for calling in sick and leaving me with Herman for the day. Art, you are quickly becoming my worst nightmare.

My work here is done, men. Have a good off-season.

Regards,

Ruff