which I find myself constantly
walking around in the daytime,
and falling in at night."
-Edna St. Vincent Millay
To My Little BugsyNugsy with Love
(Momcat)
Mom Says Goodbye
My Brave Little Nuggs (May, 1994 - February 6, 2004)
On that day in July so long ago,
I reached down and picked up a nugget of gold.
You were so sick and hungry and small
Afraid to come and answer my call.
I held you dear to my heart for years
Hoping you'ed grow old and not bring me tears.
But fate would have nothing of this
On this winter day, that ended our bliss.
I stand at fresh dirt dug just yesterday
Wondering why you were called so soon away.
The sky is bright blue and warm the winter sun
How I wish up and down this hill you could still run.
Always looking up with those adoring green eyes.
Always here at my feet or close by my side.
Always so gentle and soft and so sweet.
Always ready to sit for a clicker treat.
Now its I who looks up to the skies.
And ponders all the reasons and whys.
Why you, why now, why so quick
Why did you go. Why were you sick.
A mere shadow to some
As away from strangers you would run
But always close to me,
You were my little BuggsyNuggsy.
Nine years were not near enough time
To look into those beautiful eyes of lime.
How can I shower now
Without my little golden guard at the door.
How can I the paper read
Without you in my lap anymore.
How can I work on my laptop
Without the original orange laptop hitting the keys.
How can I look at places you slept,
The baskets, the treadmil, and theres nothing to see...
How can I sleep without the fluff of an orange tail in my face.
Or without the purr in my ear of a motor ready to race.
You wanted nothing more than to devote yourself to me.
Bringing me lessons that love is the key.
Your heart grew tired and sick, but we didn't know
That it would soon stop and to heaven you'd go.
Although nine years have come and gone
We traveled our path, we sang our song.
Our threads of life were woven together
Our bond was deep and it stands forever.
You are and always will be my baby cat, innocent, loving and sweet.
Please hold your love within your spirit until again we meet.
Webster says that Nugget is a solid lump of precious metal
I say that Nugget is a sold lump of precious golden orange fur.
He's the best cat there ever was because of the love in his green eyes.
My story begins one hot Saturday before the 4th of July. I was a very hungry and scared little guy, plus I had something wrong in my head, my eyes were running and my nose was all stopped up and I couldn't smell very well. It was quite a while since I saw my birth Mom and littermates. Somehow I got lost and ended up on an AirForce Base where Mom worked. There were a lot of people going in and out and in and out of this big huge building all day long. I had to wait for night so I could come out and try to catch some bugs to eat. I was so hungry, but still when Mom found me under a bush, she called me but I was afraid of people because all I could see was their big heavy feet going in and out of that building. Mom came back shortly with a little container of milk. I was so happy to smell something that was really food that I came out and when I started to drink it, Mom picked me up. I was really afraid at first, but somehow I knew I had been saved and everything would be fine with this new Mom.
I was pretty pathetic, but with food and medicine I soon started feeling
better. I also had a bad spell with Irritable Bowel Syndrome, but thanks
to companies like Beowulf who make BacktoBasics I finally overcame that
obsticle too. It was that awful old corn gluten meal that tore my little
tummy up. It was so bad that I had to live in a big bathroom with my own
litterbox and toys for several months. Finally when we moved to our new
house, I got to stay out all the time with the other kitties. I also eat
some of MomCat's great raw food, but mostly I'm a BacktoBasics dry food
junkie! I just can't tolerate corn gluten and its in most kinds of dry
cat food. Would you believe all of us have the softest fur now - must
be something good in that food and our fresh meat. See our Food
Sources Page for alot of foods not found in super markets. The
UPS big brown truck has to bring my big bags and cases of good tasting
canned food, but Momcat keeps it all sealed up to stay fresh for a long
time. Henry was my buddy and looked after me and played with me and washed
me. I sure miss him now that he's not here any longer. Ingot is my next
best buddy, we have grown up together. Sometimes I used to lay with Slick
and wash his face, I'm trying to learn to do what Henry taught me but
its hard. I also try to wash the kittens some, Sumi will let me, but Zeeza
just runs away....she's such a houty abysinnian....thinks she's better
than the rest of us!
MomCat and I both thought I was a very healthy, happy boy until I started feeling bad on Feb 4, 2004. I was having a hard time breathing and sometimes I had to pant to get enough air. Mom rushed me into my carrier and was very upset because she could not find a vet to see me as it was Wednesday and many vets take that day off around here and my wonderful vet was at home very sick. We finally found a vet to see us and he said he thought I was very healthy with very good vital signs whatever that means. He eased Mom's mind but didn't make me feel any better. I hid in my condo when I got home and Mom carried me to bed with her to lay by her pillow like I always did. In the morning I licked a little gravy off the canned food and went to my litter box for the last time.....of course mom or I didn't know that. Mom carried me to my regular vet because now she knew there was something very wrong. Dr. Bodner is a wonderful vet and she heard my raspy lungs and took a picture of them. My heart was very big and there was a lot of fluid around my lungs....she said I would have to stay in the hospital for a few hours. When Mom left I became frightened and had to start panting again to breathe. They put me in a funny contraption like a cage, gave me a shot of something to pull the fluid off and soon I could breathe a little better. The doctor said it would be better to stay in the oxygen overnight, so I didn't get to go home to sleep on mom's pillow, but I felt better in the morning and was ready to go home when something terrible happened. They called it a seizure and they tried to save me, but it just was not meant to be. I miss MomCat and know she misses me. We have had a deep bond from the very first day we met. I am waiting for Mom at the Bridge now with all my old friends, ScatScat, Suki, Samauri, Gumby, Slick, Ichabod, and Henry.....
A TABBY AT THE GATE
In Heaven things were busy
Earth day was growing late
When St. Peter turned to God and said,
"There's a Tabby at the Gate."
"I don't know how long he's been there,
he didn't even mew."
"Let him in," God replied,
"And we'll see what he will do."
The gate was then swung open
And in the Tabby walked.
He looked around, blinked his eyes,
And to God began to talk.
"I wasn't sure you'd let me in,
There is belief on earth
That cats don't go to heaven,
That we're lacking in our worth."
God then gave a worried sigh
Of weariness and grief
And reassured the Tabby,
"There's no truth to that belief."
"Cats are sent to earth
To represent a key
To the unconditional, purest love
That comes to all from Me."
"For there are some people
Who need something they can see,
And feel and touch in order to
Confirm belief in Me."
"So I have sent all the cats
(and other creatures too)
To show how a perfect love
Can come to them, too."
So when in Heaven things are busy
And earth day is growing late
St. Peter is keeping one eye out
In case a Tabby's at the Gate.
Author Nancy Partney
Paraphrased from original. Complete poem can be found at
Light A Candle
Author Unknown
Light a candle
And remember me
But not with teary eyes.
Raise your head upwards
My kingdom is the skies.
I am the warmth that touches you
On a sunny summer day.
I am the breeze that caresses you
From near and far away.
I draw you pictures in the clouds,
So that you might know,
I am at peace and watching you
On earth not far below.
Please open up your heart
So another cat may see,
What it is to be loved
The way that you loved me.
Bring out all my catnip,
My dishes and favorite toy,
Don't let them go to waste
They can bring so much joy.
And if you should need to talk,
All you do is close your eyes,
Raise your head upwards,
I'll be listening from the skies.
GOODBYE
SWEET, GOLDEN BOY -- I WILL FOREVER MISS YOUR LOVING SWEETNESS
YOU ARE IN MY HEART FOREVER
Links to pet-loss sites
Back to
Kat Karma and all my Old Friends
To My Old Friend Gumby's Memorial Page - He went before me to the Bridge on
May 11, 1998
To My Old Friend Ichabod's Memorial Page - He went before me to the Bridge
on July 6, 1998
To My Old Friend Henry's Memorial
Page - He went before me to the Bridge on October 9, 1998
To My Old Friend Slick's Memorial
Page - He went before me to the Bridge on September 13, 2003
To My Old Friend Cletus' Memorial
Page - He came after me to the Bridge on October 26, 2006
To My Old Friend Yoube's Memorial
Page - He came after me to the Bridge on April 10, 2008